Getting mixed signals from an ex can be extremely confusing and frustrating. At one moment it feels like they’re starting to gravitate towards you, but then other times it feels like they’re trying to run in the opposite direction. If only you could read minds, right? Is your ex confused about their feelings for you? Are they unsure about whether they see themselves with you or not?
I wanted to write an article on the signs your ex is confused, but also about the solutions available to you. As frustrating as the situation might seem, I want you to rest assured that you can change things! It all depends on your actions from here on out, so let’s take a look at what to do.
Why is your ex confused about their feelings for you?
It’s hard to understand why another person’s thoughts and actions might be all over the place. How can you switch between wanting to be together and wanting nothing to do with you so fast… and so often? It puts you on an emotional roller coaster, so I understand how hard it can be to figure out the best approach.
Fortunately, you have me and my team of dedicated love and relationship coaches! We have been working with people in your situation for many years, so you are in the right place.
So, how come it seems like you are seeing signs your ex is confused?
Confused ex: Conflicting emotions
The primary reason behind this type of behavior from your ex is simply that their heart is telling them one thing, but their mind is telling them another. In other words, he or she might still be feeling a great deal of love for you but for one reason or another, they feel that it’s not a good idea to be in a relationship with you.
Perhaps it’s because the relationship was too tumultuous, maybe it’s because they weren’t happy with the person they had become while being in a relationship with you, and it might even be because of external influences. Sometimes I work with people who break up because of pressure from the family. It’s really tough, but it’s not uncommon.
So if your ex is confused and is giving you mixed signals, it is most likely that something is making them feel like they “shouldn’t” be with you, despite the fact that they still have feelings for you. Sometimes the negative emotions that a person is feeling at a given moment can cloud their thoughts and blind them to all the positive things that they experience as a result of being in a relationship with you.
After they break up with you, that negative cloud dissipates and they start to remember all the things that you brought to the table – that they now miss.
Signs ex is confused: Pride vs realizing a mistake
Interestingly enough, and I’m sure you’ve noticed this in your daily life, many people have trouble admitting that they were wrong… Which brings us to another reason behind why a person might be confused after a breakup. Perhaps your ex has come to the realization that breaking up with you may have been a mistake.
Instead of admitting they were wrong, or perhaps instead of making things even more complicated between you, they choose to stick with their decision to leave despite their conflicting emotions.
Another thing that I see happening pretty regularly has to do with an ex’s reaction to a person’s positive changes. Just the other day I spoke with Candace who said, “My ex is confusing me because he broke up with me, told me that things are over between us for good and that he’s never coming back, at the same time he started to reach out and I can tell that he’s curious about me and wants to get closer to me. What’s going on?”
Candace’s ex was trying to stand his ground in terms of ending the relationship but she successfully planted a seed of doubt in his mind in terms of whether or not breaking up was a good idea. She knew that by becoming the new and improved version of herself, she would grab his attention.
Some people in this situation will test the waters because they want the reassurance that the person they left is still within arm’s reach. Other people will do this because they’re starting to understand that perhaps breaking up was not the solution. Fortunately for Candace, her ex’s confusing behavior was actually his reaction to realizing that he really missed her!
How to spot the signs your ex is confused
Before I dive into the actual signs and ex is confused about their feelings, I do want to take a moment to mention that their hot and cold behavior isn’t necessarily something that they’re doing on purpose. In most cases, your ex isn’t trying to manipulate you; he or she is trying to work through their own emotions. Generally speaking, they might not even realize that it is affecting you.
That said, there are various cases in which an ex might be hot and cold on purpose, and if you suspect that you might be in a toxic relationship with them, I encourage you to read this article.
We just need to be careful with human nature, because we have a bad habit of seeing the grass as greener on the other side. For a lot of people, when they are in a relationship they want to be single, and when they are single they want to be in relationship. So what are the biggest signs your ex is confused about what they want?
– He or she tells you that they want to break up and that they aren’t going to change their mind, even though you sense that they still have feelings for you
– Your ex tells you that they don’t love you anymore, but they still want to sleep together
– They tell you that they are happy without you, but are posting pictures and status updates on social media that make it seem like they are nostalgic
– They tell you that they are happy without you, but they get emotional around you
Talk about emotional roller coaster, huh? So what do you do to get in control of the situation and make this person want you back for good?
Making a confused ex want you back
The key to changing the situation is to get in control. You should be the person setting the pace here. Our goal is to make your ex realize that their life would be infinitely better with you by their side. Simply put, we want to erase all of the doubts from their mind in terms of your ability to make them happy long-term!
If your ex broke up with you, it means that they lost faith in your overall ability to make them happy in the long run. If you are seeing signs your exes confused and they are giving you mixed signals, it means that there is still a glimmer of hope in their mind but the flame is having trouble staying alive because of the doubts.
An easy way to get in control of the situation is to be careful to not let your actions be influenced by their actions. So don’t be in a great mood when your ex is in a great mood, only to be in a bad mood when your ex is in a bad mood.
Their actions and behaviors should not have a direct effect on you. In fact, your focus should be on yourself and how you can bring more happiness into your life on a regular basis. Fill up your schedule with people and activities that bring you joy, and make sure that you set aside ample time for personal development. Think about your personal and professional goals, physical health, and self-confidence.
If you can actively work on becoming the new and improved version of yourself, your ex is going to take notice. We want your ex to look at you and recognize stability and well-being. If you are just as hot and cold as they are, you’re not going to get anywhere.
The key is to focus on living your best life and you can start to incorporate re-seduction techniques.
For more information on how to attract your ex back into your life for good, I recommend clicking the link. For more information or one-on-one guidance, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me or a member of my team. You can also leave any questions you might have in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you are looking for the signs your ex is confused
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