There’s no denying it. You can feel it in your chest, in the pit of your stomach, and in the sensation you get whenever you hear your ex’s name. They’re on your mind day and night. You still have feelings for your ex and you’ve started to realize that you don’t think letting them go is the right move. What you feel for them is too strong and you feel that you two could still be very happy together in the future.
So, is it too late? Is all hope lost now that your relationship has ended? Fortunately, you are now on a site that specializes in getting people back together. If you really believe in something and if you really want it, anything is possible in love. It’s just going to require that you design an effective action plan and that you stick to it.
There are a variety of tools available to you when you want an ex back, and I’m going to go over them with you right here in this article. There are some do’s and don’ts that go along with this process, and by the end of this article you’re going to have a much better idea about how to reach your goal!
Why do I still love my ex after everything that has happened?
A lot of my clients come to me because they’re frustrated about how they’re feeling. The breakup took quite a toll on them, and they want to fast forward to when they’re feeling better. I spoke to one person just the other day who told me, “We were fighting so much by the end. Every little thing would upset her and it would turn into this massive fight. I needed to get out of that situation and I broke up with her, but I now realize that I still have feelings for her. I still want to be with her. But if that’s how things were, why do I still want it?”
As I told him, it wasn’t the fights that he was missing of course, it was how things were when they were good. You see, when little issues accumulate throughout a relationship, tensions will rise and it can be enough to end the relationship. When the breakup is fresh, the negative things are going to be your most recent memories. As some time passes however, nostalgia and memories of the good times will start to surge up… Keep this in mind for later when I start to tell you how to get your ex back!
When you have feelings for your ex, it means that you miss the good times you shared and you want to get back to that place. The thing is, there is something very important that a lot of people in your position don’t realize.
If you want your ex back, it’s not going to work if you propose the same relationship you had in the past. Truth be told, you both know how that ended – even if it was great in the beginning. You’ve got to be able to propose something entirely new, with a more solid foundation. More on that in a moment.
The feelings you have for someone don’t just disappear when you go through a breakup. Some people are fantastic at covering it up, and they can make you think that they are not affected by what happened at all. Your ex might even be one of these people! Right now you might be thinking that they don’t feel anything for you anymore and that they’re happy as a clam without you.
Perhaps they’ve still got a bad taste in their mouth as a result of the breakup, but the love they felt for you doesn’t just evaporate. It’s going to be up to you to bring it back up to the surface! But how?
I’m glad you asked!
What to do when you still have feelings for an ex: Step 1
When you still love your ex the first thing you’re going to have to do is focusing all of your energy and attention on yourself. During this period, it’s totally normal to feel vulnerable, nostalgic, and afraid of losing your ex forever. This is actually what leads most people to make mistakes during this period.
They panic and start trying to do everything in their power to show their ex that they still love them and that they still want to be together. It can come in the form of needy behavior, constantly calling and texting, begging the ex to take them back… etc.
They unwittingly begin to hand all the power over to their ex and make it very easy for themselves to be taken for granted – which is the opposite of what we want.
If you still love your ex, you need to make him or her feel the desire to make an effort to get closer to you. You have to inspire them to envision a future with you, and understand that they would be so much happier with you by their side.
To do so, you’ve got to focus on yourself. How can you improve your life and your well being starting today?
Take a sheet of paper and start jotting responses down.
• What hobbies did you lose track of while you were in the relationship?
• Which friends and family members could you start spending more time with again?
• How can you switch up or increase your physical activity? (Think yoga, rock climbing, salsa classes, HIIT training)
• How can you bring a breath of fresh air into your life with new activities? (Painting, learning a new language, meeting more friends)
• What new places and restaurants can you check out to switch up your environment? (Look at new cocktail bars or sushi restaurants to try out with your friends)
• What new projects or goals can you give yourself? (Getting ahead at work, tackling remodeling your backyard like you’ve always wanted to)
You probably noticed a theme: NEWNESS. Right now your goal should be in with the new, out with the old!
Whether you want your ex back or not, you have to focus on becoming a new and improved version of yourself right now. Its going to boost your self confidence, and it’s going to help you bounce back from this breakup. If you’re thinking, “I still have feelings for my ex and I don’t know what to,” just remember that your ex is going to be much less inclined to come back to you if you do nothing but sit around on the couch feeling sorry for yourself. It’s easy to want to hide away and mope, but trust me, it’s not going to get you anywhere.
If you want this man or woman to want you back, you have to inspire them! You have to make them look at you and think, “Wow, I really wish I could share that with him/her.” “Wow, my ex looks so great. They’re looking great and genuinely happy, and they remind me of the person I fell in love with… Did I make a mistake in letting them go…?”
Yes, you want to plant a seed of doubt in your ex’s mind by focusing on personal development. While you’re doing this, there are a few tools you can use…
The best techniques to use when you’re in love with an ex
If you’re familiar with our philosophy, you’ve undoubtedly heard about the no contact rule. It is arguably the most powerful tool available when it comes to getting back together with an ex. The goal of it is to create an electroshock in your ex and make them realize that they miss you.
I encourage you to click the link in order to find more in-depth information on the subject, but to give you a brief summary, you use this tool by cutting communication with your ex for a predetermined period of time, ranging from three weeks to three months. During this period, you focus on becoming the best version of yourself and you have to fight the temptation to reach out to your ex or to answer their messages.
In doing so, they’ll realize that you are no longer at their beck and call and they’ll miss having your attention. On top of that, as soon as they realize that you’ve been making some serious improvements to your life, they’ll realize that you’ve come out on top after this breakup and that the people around you are lucky to have you in their lives.
When you still have feelings for your ex, the best way to revive their feelings for you is by inspiring them to want to get closer to the person you’ve become.
I often tell my clients that in many cases, the breakup was the best thing that could have happened to two people. It wakes them up, shakes things up so that they can be taken off the wrong track and put on the right track. They’re wakeup calls, and if you’re proactive, you can use this painful period to ensure that the two of you are happier than ever in the future.
There are all kinds of other tools available to you, like the handwritten letter. As each situation is entirely unique, please don’t hesitate to leave any questions in the comments section below or reach out to me or a member of my team directly here!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re still in love with your ex