During a separation, it’s not uncommon for one of the people to lose their cool and menace the other either verbally or physically. The title of this article is pretty clear but I wanted to really insist on the importance of this. You will never be able to making someone feel something for you again by acting like this. If you think that bullying your ex will have a positive impact you’re going to have to think again.
Threats and violence, either physical or psychological, will never make the person you love come back to you; and this includes threatening an ex even if it out of love! In fact, it’s much more likely that this would make them want to get as far away from you as possible. Yes, sometimes it’s possible to make a person come back, but let’s be clear: If a person comes back to you as a result of threats, it’ll only be because of fear and you will break the equilibrium in your relationship and will face inevitable consequences.
Scaring your ex is not the solution
In reality, to help you better understand my reasoning; I don’t have to go into much detail. All I have to do is use the word “fear” and you will understand what I’m getting at. Making your ex be afraid or making them fear you will not help you get back together with them. In any case, I’m still going to go into further analysis because I don’t want to leave you with just a few sentences! Let’s take a look at the definition of the word, “fear:”
Fear is an emotion felt in the face of danger or threat.
As you can imagine, you want your soul mate to consider you as the love of their life. If you’re considered as danger or a threat, you’re going to have exactly the opposite of what you want. Under these circumstances one doesn’t have to be a genius to know that threatening your ex is not going to help you get back together with them.
A man that frightens his significant other just like a woman that frightens her significant other, has nothing attractive about them. Fear is a stronger emotion than attraction and it’s very hard to construct a solid relationship under these circumstances.
Threatening an ex can backfire big time
On top of making you unappealing, threatening an ex can cause serious problems. Not only can you risk having friends and family turn their backs on you, you could also have the police at your door if your ex has filed a harassment complaint against you. Sometimes situations worsen and it becomes really hard to turn things back around.
If your children find themselves in the middle of your conflict, they’ll tend to remain neutral as long as there is no misconduct. However if threats come into play it’s highly likely that they will take the side of the person being threatened. If you want to turn your back on your children and on your in-laws, menacing your ex-partner is the way to go. I’m not sure that this will help you get back together… Even if you do get back together with your ex, their family will have their back and won’t hesitate to bring your actions to your attention, even if you were acting in the heat of the moment. This will easily pull you further and further apart.
Security is a fundamental element of a relationship so it’s imperative to do everything in your power to preserve it. Your ex needs to feel at ease while you’re trying to approach her again, because if she feels even the slightest sense of fear resulting from threats or insults she could very well refuse any contact with you.
Threatening your ex is something to avoid at all costs!
There are certain threats and sentence that a person should absolutely avoid because they can put a final end to any hope you had of getting back together. I wanted to make a little outline of certain things that should never come out of your mouth unless you’d your number and Facebook profile to be deleted for good in one swift motion.
1/ Death threats from an ex
During a separation, people oftentimes say things that they would never think was possible, because their emotions are running wild. Even if the cause of these wild emotions is post-breakup emotional shock, you need to control them. Saying, “I’ll kill you first and then myself,” or, “You’re going to die,” or even, “watch yourself,” are things that you should never ever say. These are serious threats, and on top of that if you act like this you’re risking destroying everything that bonded you.
2/ Threating an ex’s family and children
The same thing goes for everything regarding family and loved ones because you’re targeting the inner circle. Under these circumstances, the situation can worsen very quickly and you have to do everything you can to avoid this type of attitude. Not only will you be seen as an unstable person, you’re risking ending up before the police or in court.
3/Threats on financial matters
In a couple, money can be a touchy subject, especially if there are children that need to be put through school and one of the partners doesn’t work. It’s pointless to try and get your ex back using money. Please note that this is also extremely unhealthy. Your relationship shouldn’t be based on money.
Emotional blackmail is just as dangerous as making threats against your ex. Whether it’s a threat to reveal an embarrassing secret if your ex doesn’t take you back, or wanting to tell lies to their entourage so that you can cause problems, none of these things are good ways to get back together with your ex.
5/Threatening to kill yourself
Talking about wanting to hurt yourself is a menace because you’re implying that the other person would be responsible because of their decision. Never say anything that even remotely resembles; “I’ll slit my wrists,” “Someone will have died because of you,” or “if you leave me I’ll kill myself because I’ll have no more reason to live.”
The coach for avoiding making threats to your ex