We’re broken up but still living together what next?

broken up but still living togetherYou and your ex broke up but you’re still living together? You hate having to see each other every day as friends instead of lovers? Are you still in love with your ex and wish that you knew what to do to get them back? These are all questions that Lucas could relate too as we were getting ready to get started on our consultation. As a relationship expert tons and tons of people have reached out to me not knowing how to act or what they should do after having broken up with their ex but still living with them.

Like I told Lucas today over the phone, I understand that it’s a weird position to be in; having broken up but still living together means tons of awkward situations that aren’t always easy to deal with on your own!

Do you ignore each other? How can you make your ex be in demand or miss you? How can you prove that you are evolving if you see each other every day? Or worse, how do you react if your ex starts dating someone else and doesn’t hide it from you?

being emotionally dependent

If you find yourself in the awkward position of still living with your ex, this article is for you; I hope that my advice will help you regain a sense of control and empower you to realize that it’s still possible for you to get back with the one you love if you implement the right actions!

Broken up but still living together? This is what you should do!

 

You and your ex could be forced to live under the same roof after a breakup for a myriad of reasons; you may have signed a lease that you can’t get out of, you may have kids together and don’t want to just leave from one day to the next, you may be financially tied and have no other choice; or you may just be in a state of limbo and unsure of what to do next.

No matter what the reason may be if you are still hoping to get back together you need to make the most of this situation in order to surprise your ex and prove that you can make them happy.

For all of the negatives that could be found about still living with an ex after a breakup, the reality is that you have a unique opportunity to see them almost on a daily basis.

I coach tons of people who haven’t spoken to their ex in months; having that communication platform is a huge advantage and you can make the most of it by proving to your ex that you are beginning to change and that the breakup is a huge mistake!

If your ex decided to breakup, I would like you to try to surprise them through your actions and not through your words. Your ex thinks that they know you and that you are incapable of making them happy in the long run; that’s why they broke up with you. I want you to reflect on your ex’s expectations and figure out where you came short.

Once you have a good grasp of where things went wrong and what you could have done better, I want you to act against nature or what you would normally do while also start to implement little actions to change certain negative behaviors that you displayed during your relationship.

Don’t do things for your ex however; do them for you!

That’s the only way you will be credible and your ex will be able to tell the difference!

How to do a radio silence when you are still living together

 

A radio silence is a strict no contact period following a breakup. It is an amazing tool that can empower you and allow you to regain a sense of control if you’ve made mistakes, if you were too needy or if you were in a long term relationship.

If you have kids or still live with your ex, implementing a no contact period can be quite tricky or awkward because you are probably forced to see each other almost every day!

using radio silence to get back with my ex

But we have adapted this unique tool to you! You can interact with your ex but only if they come reaching out to you! You still need to take a bit of distance, change your communication platforms and not give them any special kind of attention; however, you shouldn’t be negative or too cold either.

The trick is to smile, to be in a good mood, to be pleasant especially when you are interacting with other people around your ex but without making your ex feel special in anyway.

That way you will prove to them that you are no longer emotionally dependent and that you are in the process of moving on! Your ex will slowly start to see you slipping away and it will be their natural human instinct or reaction to try to re-seduce you some way or at the very least to start to have doubts or regrets.

A chance to prove your change and that you can make your ex happy

 

Being broken up but still living together is a chance to prove to your ex that you are evolving in a positive way on a daily basis. You really shouldn’t see it as something negative but rather as a unique opportunity to show to your ex that you can make them happy!

my ex is the only one for me

Even in the worse possible circumstances, if your ex starts to date other people or bring potential new partners into your place, you can still act positively. The trick is not to be in a reactionary state of mind but rather to take the lead in doing certain things that can enable you to regain control and to surprise your ex!

If you were too needy and your ex took you for granted such a situation can be used to showcase the fact that you have evolved and that you are capable of not being jealous, not throwing a fit or falling for their provocation.

On the contrary, if you were too distant or removed or failed to show to your ex that you cared enough, this would be a perfect situation to step in and prove them otherwise!

Show that you can’t tolerate seeing them with someone else in a home where you shared so many memories and moments; Say that it’s necessary for you both to respect each other even if you are no longer together.

Your ex is probably looking to get a reaction out of you one way or the other, especially if you have implemented a radio silence. If things had gotten really bad and they really couldn’t stand you at all, your ex would have moved out or requested you to do the same.

In other words, the fact that you are still in this state of limbo where you are not officially together but still living under the same roof proves to me that there is still a chance to salvage your relationship.

my ex needs time

If you find yourself in this situation and need guidance or support to maximize your chances of getting back with your ex than reach out to me! It would be my pleasure to put my experience and expertise to work for you; and to guide you step by step towards meeting your goals.

The coach to call if you are broken up but still living together,

Sincerely,

Adrian

Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert

  • Dominic

    Hey Adrian,

    My ex and I currently live together (sleeping in separate rooms at
    the moment) and despite her wanting/asking for the breakup, we’ve agreed to be
    mature and adult about the situation until the lease is up (i.e. get along as
    much as possible and with the holidays coming up, try our best to enjoy them
    the best we can with the finite amount of time left under the same roof). I fully understand and agree with all the concepts and
    strategies I’ve seen online from ex-guru’s etc. I know that I need to make her miss me, focus on
    my self improvement, identify both the things that made her fall in love with
    me AND the things that did just the opposite. remain calm and rational (without
    exhibiting too much emotion) when we do interact, be polite and jovial in
    conversation (make her laugh and smile), improve on doing things around the
    house that need to be done (yet, indirectly show that I care), try to not show
    off the improvements that I’m making (ex. “hey, my new diet is paying off,
    I lost 5lbs this week!”), the list goes on…

    I’ve taken steps to help
    limit my contact with her. I stopped most of the regular texting we did all the
    time, delay my responses to her texts (or don’t reply at all, when it won’t be
    construed as rude), changed my shift at work so that I leave before she gets
    home and return after she’s asleep, plus I’ve started being “the
    initiator” when it comes to concluding time we are together (i.e. watching
    tv over dinner she made for me/us and when I’m finished or the show about over
    clean up my dishes and politely excuse myself to go shower and get ready for
    bed).

    To inject a very brief back story…. We’ve been together just over 3
    years. Moved in together a little over a year ago (plus, her teenage daughter). We are
    both in our mid-30’s, previously married, and have very compatible long term
    life goals. Aside from marriage, I’ve had several relationships and she is by
    far the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Our lives independently became stressful soon after we moved in together. Unknowingly at
    the time, those stresses caused our “Emotional Attraction” to fade, which inevitably
    led to me hearing those dreadful words “I love you and care about you, but
    I’m just not IN love with you anymore.” At the time, it came as a complete
    shock, because we never fought or had any seem-able argument. I heard those
    words a little over 6 months ago. I then made the mistake of “begging and
    pleading” that I’d change and be better etc. (which for the most part I
    have). Where, I know now, I’ve made my mistake, is that even though I was
    doing more of the things she wished I would and less of the things she didn’t,
    I wasn’t doing anything to get her Oxytocin and natural attractions flowing again. So, again I was
    extremely hurt 2 weeks ago when we were going to bed and she said “I’m
    breaking up with you.” That night I kicked her out of our room, granted
    she had recently told me she was thinking about sleeping in the guest room
    anyway. The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind roller coaster ride of emotions,
    as expected; but, I’ve managed to regain my composure and after researching
    advice online (from you and several others) I’ve began to put things in place
    to hopefully save, rekindle, and re-ablaze her passion for me once again. As I
    mentioned in the beginning, we discussed that we want to make the best of the
    next few months til the end of our lease (which conveniently falls right before
    Valentines Day). This past weekend for Halloween, she had planned to go out
    with her girlfriends…conveniently for me, they all had to cancel for various
    reasons. So, I offered to still take her out so she could have fun, which she
    accepted without hesitation. It had been awhile since we went out, and this was
    a good viable reason to do so. I wanted to try and re-image myself to her in
    two ways, be fun and look good. Being fun was easy, I just let loose and did
    all things I know make her laugh. Looking good was a challenge…being
    Halloween and all…I think I pulled it off, but you tell me what you think…
    my costume was themed as “50 Shades of Grey”… I put on my best grey
    suit with a new tie and shoes etc. to match and simply put a “hello my
    name is Christian” sticker on my chest. We had a blast and she said I looked great! At the end of the night, for the first
    time since moving down the hall, she slept in the same bed with me. No sex,
    which is I feel may be better anyway, in the sense of building up her desires,
    but we did cuddle all night; plus, like before, she took my arms and clenched
    my hand close to her chest. I’m hoping that I’m on the right track, but I don’t
    want to over estimate my “progress” and accidentally do something to
    sabotage my efforts. More so, I also want to make sure that I’m doing
    everything the best way that I can, given our situation. I know this wasn’t
    brief, and that for more personal attention I need to sign up for coaching if possible, but until I’m
    able to do so, any and all advice or guidance in my endeavors would be greatly
    appreciated.

    Very Respectfully,
    Dominic Italiano

    • CoachAdrian

      Dominic, Thank you for sharing your story! I must
      congratulate you for all that you have already been able to implement since finding
      out that she wanted to breakup. The most important step initially is to avoid
      making mistakes (which you did by begging and pleading, but you have already
      started to make up for all of that!) and then to understand the reasons why the
      relationship unraveled (which you did as well). I think that moving in together
      was definitely a game changer on top of the fact that you probably stopped
      doing as much as you once did to surprise her and make the relationship
      exciting. Taking a step back and not acting needy is a step in the right
      direction because it will enable her to realize that you are not the cause of
      all of her stress. The Halloween night spent together proves that you are heading
      in the right direction! I invite you to take another step back now, to make her
      come to you organically and seek more of your love and attention. It would be
      my pleasure to speak at greater length during a private coaching session over
      the phone in order to provide you with a tailored game plan and concrete
      actions to implement right away — to make her miss you and regret her words;
      and ultimately speed up the process of getting back together. No matter what, make
      sure that you stay proactive and maintain a positive attitude! Your state of
      mind can be your biggest ally or worst enemy, so stay positive and best of luck
      in your quest to be with the one you love! Sincerely, Adrian

      • Mike jones

        Hey Adrian im currently in the same situation now, My fiancé and I have been together for a year and a half and we live in a really nice home with her two kids. overall I’ll say we have a good relationship Up until recently. I can say I do my part as a man for her I treat her really good. But my fiancé had a conversation with my ex and found out I had a conversation with her about us and she didn’t like that so she told me it was over. I began to display neediness and weakness and didn’t even realize I was doin it she even called me clingy lol. But I displayed that behavior to her because I was shocked and I felt like I was loosing everything so she said it was over a month ago and she said she wanted me to leave on the 1st of the month witch was nov 1. So nov 1 came and I handed her the rent like I normally do and she accepted it! But she would go sleep in the room with her kids and not in the bed with me for a few days. Last few nights we have slept in the bed together and I jus go stright to sleep I don’t even try to touch her at all, Normaly im trying touch her every night so I’m proud of myself for that. She cooks but don’t make my plate anymore but makes enough for me to go make my own plate. And what really hurts is she hasn’t been wearing her engagement ring in a month since all this happen she knows that affects me too Ive ask her to but it back on and she says no.. I’ll usually text and call her at work but I recntly stopped. I know the code to her phone so I know she’s been texting some older guy she hooked up with years ago and the text do seem friendly about work and stuff but I don’t like it. She telling him about our problems and he’s tell her about the problems he’s having with his situation. Adrian I really love this girl and she knows it what should I do to get her back!!!

        • CoachAdrian

          Hello Mike! Thank you for sharing your story. Indeed your relationship probably fell apart because you stopped inspiring your fiancee and became way too available and needy. I suspect that the reason she gave you (talking to your ex) was simply an excuse but not the heart of the issue. Based on the bit of information that you have shared with me here, it is probably still possible to win her back if you are able to take a step back, control your emotions and inspire her as you did during the early parts of your relationship! Don’t hesitate to eat out more, to spend less time at home and to surprise and inspire her whenever possible! Many people reach out to me from all over the world saying “Adrian, we’re broken up but still living together!” and I’ve developed an expertise over the years to figure out exactly what to do in order to quickly shift the dynamic in your favor. So if you are serious about salvaging your relationship, I urge you to book a coaching session in order for me to help you come up with a tailored game plan designed based on the dynamic and specificity of your relationship. Good luck either way in your quest to be with the one you love!

          • Mike jones

            How do I book a coaching session?

          • CoachAdrian

            Hey Mike, I reached out to you via email, but just in case here is the reservation’s page as well: https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/

  • Melissa H

    Hello Adrian :/

    My ex and i are living together currently. just about 4 days ago he came home from going out drinking with some of our buddies and told me that we needed to break up. that he’s been unhappy for a very long time, and that he does love me but he doesn’t want to sacrifice his happiness anymore. he doesn’t see me changing the things about me that have gotten us to this terrible point (ex. i’m messy, emotional, tendency to be very negative whenever i speak. and raise my voice when i get upset.) because he’s almost broken up with me several times before. during big blow outs, never as calm as he did it this time. and i never changed quite enough. and i feel so bad because i know that if we could give it one more go i could show him there’s more to me than that. and that i can be a better person. and that i’ve already improved so much. i love him with every ounce of my soul. currently we live together and we work together so it’s very difficult. as for the general mistakes people make, i’ve only asked him to give me another chance twice. once the day after we broke up telling him how i see our future together and hearing him say he doesn’t see the same things. and once yesterday night calmly sitting on the bed when i told him i knew that the biggest reason it’s all gone to hell is that we need to learn to communicate with each other. he said that he needs space to know if he will ever want to try things again with me. and that he might not want to try things with me again, but that he wont know unless i give him that space. which i understand. and that at this time he doesn’t want to give me hope and says he doesn’t want to give me a second chance. we’ll be living together until the beginning of February, it’s currently the end of November. do you think if i can distance myself from him, as in act jovial with him when he comes around for conversation, and show that i can be clean and tidy, and make him laugh when we do spend time together that i have a chance of still winning him back before we separate ways in February ? i love him to death, and we’ve been together nearly two years now. when we met he moved all the way from america to china to live with me(we teach English here. i’m originally from Oregon and he and i met online when i was already here teaching), the first time we met in person was the day we moved in together! he’s my fairy tale, and my prince, and i’d do anything to keep from losing him.

    i’m sorry this was so long, thank you if you took the time to read it . it means the world and a half to me.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Melissa,
      Thank you for sharing your story! I can tell that you are
      truly remorseful and ready to make lasting changes in order to make it work
      this time around. The key for you will be to not try to openly convince him to
      take you back; you would only continue a pattern that has proven to fail and he
      will not respond positively to such behavior. In fact you will want to give him
      space by doing exactly the opposite, being more independent, not seek his
      validation, or not continuously try to spend time together. Use the fact that
      you still live and work together to your advantage by evolving right in front of
      his eyes and proving your change over the next 3 months! It is still possible
      to win him over; I have coached countless people facing a similar circumstances
      to successfully get back with the man or woman they love, so I know that it can
      be achieved! It will depend mostly on your ability to control your emotions and
      your process of personal development. Don’t hesitate to reach to me for a
      coaching session if you want to elaborate this game plan together or for
      regular support during the next 3 months to ensure that you maximize your
      chances of reaching your goals. Best of luck either way in your quest to be
      with the one you love.
      Regards, Adrian

  • Steve

    Hey Adrian,

    My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. I moved to a different city with her. I am going to school here now, have an internship and a job so my hands are kind of tied on what I can do. She has done this before where she will break up with me but in the previous times I have moved away but she always reaches out to me two to three weeks later asking for me back. This time I am stuck. She’s already started going out and doesn’t seem to have any concern for me at all and it’s only been a week. We had a small fight and it just blew up. She went to a friends that night and when she came home the next day she was completely done with me. Very cold hearted. She said I could stay here but I keep telling her I’ll move because it’s the only way I get a kind gesture from her. I obviously have to stay here but I don’t want to hurt anymore and I’m not sure how to get her back without actually leaving.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Steve,

      Thank you for sharing part of your story here with me. It seems that you have lost both credibility and the power struggle along the way in this relationship…you are or appear too weak to be appealing in her eyes, let me explain; You say that she has left you under similar circumstances a few times in the past and that you always have taken her back when she experienced a change of heart…unfortunately this act of love on your part as been perceived like a weakness and you have let things spiral out of control! At this point the best course of action may very well be for you to move out, but also that you look to move on in order for her to take you seriously. You need to value yourself and not let her have her way all the time otherwise you are bound to stay in a position of weakness where you will always be in fear of her leaving you, while also not strong enough to inspire her that something has changed — and that you are the right man for her. If you need guidance along the way, don’t hesitate to reach out for a one on one coaching session. Be strong and focus on your own well being and happiness independently of your relationship. Everything will then fall into place.

      All the best,

      Adrian

  • Diana Riddle

    Adrian
    Hello my ex and I were together for almost 9 years. Last Sunday after her being really cold with me I finally asked her what was going on. Well I got the answer I didn’t want she told me she was leaving me. Her reasons were the weirdest I’ve heard yet. She said she wants to travel the world but because I don’t like long plane rides she couldn’t do that to me . I have been financially supporting her for a while now and I know she can’t do it on her own. Anyways this morning she asked me for a hug I gave her a hug but she just really wanted me to hold her so I did and she said I could just go to sleep here. Then she when she goes to drop me off at work it was almost like old times she tried to kiss me before I got out of the car but then she pulled back. All these mixed signals are making my head spin. We live together and can’t break our lease. I’m leaving for the weekend to spend time with my family. I don’t think I should tell her I want her to know what it’s like when I’m not here . What I really want is to fix whatever went wrong in the first place to lead us to this . Our lease isn’t up until may so what am u supposed to do? How can I show her that I want this to work how do I know she still wants me? Thank you for your time.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Diana,

      Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and apologies for the delay in getting back to you. We have been overwhelmed with requests for private coaching sessions during this past holiday period and so I could only get back to you now.

      I’m sure that your situation has evolved in the last week; know however that these mixed signals could mean that she is unsure of her decision or that she could feel guilty. The fact that you have an on-going lease is a good thing and being around each other on a daily basis could help re-spark a bond if you put the right actions in place.

      I can already tell you that the last thing that you’ll want to do though is to continue to support her financially. You cannot be too nice in this type of breakup otherwise you will only continue to enable her and appear too weak to win her over.

      Don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you would like us to put together a tailored game plan during the course of a one on one coaching — it would be my pleasure to help you meet your goals.

      I wish you all the very best,

      Sincerely,

      Adrian

  • Rachel Fuertes

    Hi coach Adrian I need help badly my partner told me she needed time to enjoy a single life after I found out she was cheating on me, we’ve been together for almost 7 years now and we are still living together..she’s giving me mix information sometimes she would tell me to move on for the mean time and that she wants me to be happy and sometimes she would tell she knows it’s still is in the end, she still continues seing the same girl that I caught her cheating with, however they are only exclusively dating, I tried going out because thats what she was telling me, but she is planning for us to go on a vacation on fen and I ask her if she’s going with the girl she said no, and after a week I ask her again she told me what if she’s coming are you coming with me still I said no I’m so confuse I don’t know what to do I really want to win her back since before she broke up with me we were engage for a yer already, last Christmas we spend it with friends together without the girl in the picture, however this new year when she ask me for permission if she can bring the girl I said yes because I feel like she’s already pressured by the girl and I just can’t say no to her cause she’s suffering already, I left the house and came back when the girl was gone but I get to only stay for 30 minutes because the girl came back my partner got so drunk and they went inside outhouse to use the restroom together I told her not do it and to respect the house, the. After I saw her with the girl going to one of our rooms that’s when told her to really stop.. Not the girl is always staying on her phone because last Christmas something happened to us and she found out about it. My ex partner are working in the same facility I don’t know what to do I want to save my relationship.. Please help me

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Rachel,

      I’m not sure I understood the full story here but I can already tell you that you are also being way too nice and naive. If you are too flexible, you will continue to get walked all over. You need to value yourself and show to your partner that she cannot have her cake and eat it too.

      The best thing for you would be to pull back, to start to go out more and have a social life of your own — independently of her and past mutual friends. In time and with proper coaching she will miss you and realize that she is making a big big mistake… but it all starts with you and your attitude and that’s a common theme when I hear people tell me ” we’re broken up but still living together…”

      Don’t hesitate to reach out to me for a one on one coaching session — it would be my pleasure to help you win back the heart of the one you love.

      Stay strong and kind regards,
      Adrian

  • Jason smith

    Hi coach adrian,

    I need help and understanding that my ex girlfriend and i broke up about 2 months ago. But due to financial troubles that she caused put me in hole she allow me to move in with her to get back on my feet she started dating again but she tells me its not that serious but she’s spends overnights out on the weekend when she is normally home. She told me the reason why we’re not together is because she had a hard time trusting me we don’t speak when we are in the house together we never are in the same room together and when she cooks she doesn’t even offer me any food or leftovers. But she calls me and ask me am i coming back to her house at night or do I want to smoke a hookah pipe with her its only been a week since I’ve been here in this is what has happened what am I to do should I try hard to make it work if so what should I do or should I give it up and move on and concentrating on getting my stuff ready and get out of her house

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Jason,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me! You are in a complicated situation, and the most crucial step for you will be to regain your emotional and financial independence. Under the circumstances that you are currently in, it will be difficult for you to be happy or to inspire her to want to get back together. It is most probably still possible for you to make it work and to start and a new and improved relationship, but in order to do so I urge you to look to move out as quickly as possible. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me and book a one on one coaching session if you would like to work together to put a tailored plan in place to meet your goals. Kind regards, Adrian

  • Abi

    Hi Coach Adrian,

    My ex broke up with me 2 and a half weeks ago…we met because I moved into the house we now share with 3 others (he had already been living there for about 9 months when I moved in). We were together 5 months and he broke up with me because I was too emotional for him and he said he couldn’t be what I wanted him to be and he couldn’t make me happy so it was making him unhappy, and because living together is too intense. Bear in mind that we started the relationship whilst living together…way too intense!
    Anyway do you think there is a chance? He said during the break up that it will just never work whilst we live together.
    He said he still likes me a lot and thinks I’m an amazing person and ‘wants to see how friends is’.
    I’m struggling because I see him a lot and it’s painful that he is now so distant with me as we’ve broken up, because I’ve only ever known him to be flirty and want to spend lots of time with me (we liked each other from the moment we met).

    We still live together (separate rooms)

    Please, any advice would be appreciated!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Abi,

      Thanks for sharing your story… I think that it is definitely still possible for you to win him back and to get back together. In your case being broken up but still living together can be seen as a plus since you met as roommates. I would even go further to say that moving out would actually make it more difficult to get back together.

      Since you are coming out of a short term relationship time is of the essence, you should implement a well thought game plan right away… it will be essential for you to regain a sense of independence and to be proactive and not reactionary — don’t let yourself be too affected by his actions or by his distance. So I highly recommend that you go out with friends, change your habits (come and leave your place at different times) and show that you are moving forward with your life (don’t chase or beg). On the contrary surprise him by also engaging with him as a friend and try to be natural in order for him to start to be affected by the change of dynamic.

      It would be my pleasure to speak to you during the course of a one on one coaching in order to better understand the intricacies of your relationship and to give you a more tailored game plan to get back with the one you love. If interested don’t hesitate to reach out!

      Best of luck,
      Adrian

  • Nick80

    Hi , please help my bf of 2 1/2 years has said its over and wants us to stay living together whilst we finish renovations on the house and then sell it . we continued to share a bed and he said he still found he attractive but believes we are not compatable . due to him seeing text messages that I told a friend we were still sharing a bed he has now moved to the spare room .We have been though a lot together as he was diagnosed with cancer 5 months in to our relationship . I think he may be having a bit of a mid life crisis . Although he says we are separated we gave ended by cuddling and kissing s few times . Yet then he turns cold and says I need to move on . I truest believe he is confused but I don’t know what to do

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nick,

      I also share your view that your boyfriend is confused and probably going through a mid life crisis indeed! The fact that you are broken up but still living together can actually work to your benefit as he has shown signs of being indecisive and confused. The best move for you would be to book a one on one coaching session with me in order to put a game plan in place right away to help you shift the balance of power and for you to once again become desirable. Don’t hesitate to reach out in order for me to tell you how you can take a step back and let go in order to make him realize what is at stake.
      Good luck either way,
      Adrian

  • Tabetha

    Hi. My ex and I as of a week ago live together. It’s his home. He has 2 kids. We have been together for a couple years. I have issues with jealousy and anger, he said he cant be with me and that he isn’t going to say maybe down the road because right now he doesn’t think he can and he doesn’t want to give me false hope. He had been texting a female coworker all day everyday for the past couple months. He went out last night with her and other work friends. He didn’t get back til 3am. He was texting her the whole time. I showed my disapproval a couple months ago when it started, he said there is nothing there and just friends. I beleive he is in a emotional relationship with this women and has been. I beleive she is the reason he doesn’t want to try and work on us. I am not sure what to do. Part of me wants to stay in hopes he comes back and part of me is like why am I staying?
    The morning he left and made it a point to come in and say he was leaving and wanted me to know, I said ok, drive safe, have fun! He said he would be back this afternoon. But as soon as he left he was texting her every minute. I’m confused on what to do. If I stay is there a chance of us or should I just move out?

  • BMWs25

    Hello I need your help! My ex and I broke up a week ago. She had been seeing someone else and I found out. I have been supporting her for 6 months while she has been out of work. She is used to being very independent and this has taken a toll on the relationship. She says that she doesn’t know if she can get over things that had happened 1 1/2s ago and I feel like that’s and excuse for the drinking and bad decisions. She is still living with me. She is not around a lot but when I do see her things go well between us . She says she doesn’t know what she what’s. I do still want to be with her but at the same time I don’t want to set myself up to be taken advantage of. I don’t know what my next move should be!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello and thank you for sharing your story!
      I urge you book a coaching session with me ASAP in order for us to get started working together right away to ensure that you quickly turn things around. I am concerned that you may already be taken advantage of and I feel like time is of the essence otherwise things may get a lot more complicated for you, really fast. It is probably still possible to make her realize that she is about to make a big mistake; but you will need to be strong and resilient. I have helped quite a few people who were in similar circumstances so I do know that it is possible to turn everything around if you are able to control your emotions and not act too needy! I hope to hear from you soon in order to help you win back her heart.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • BMWs25

        How do I set up a session?

        • CoachAdrian

          You can book a session via the following link: https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
          I recommend booking a one hour call; I will then touch base with you via email to make arrangements.
          Looking forward to it!
          Adrian

          • BMWs25

            Ordered! And I have copies of text messages that can give you a better view of what’s going on.

          • CoachAdrian

            Fantastic, thank you for your trust. I have already touched based with you via email. Looking forward to working together and helping you meet your goals!

  • Nicki

    Hi Adrian
    My ex ended our 3 year relationship a month ago. We live together although he has spent most of the time staying with friends/family but when he comes home, we end up drinking, watching movies and inveviatably sleeping together…I know, I know. We have a very passionate relationship and we do argue but usually resolve these quickly,
    He started to pull away when he lost his job in November and is in financial crisis, and says he can’t handle the drama between the two of us. This is something I am working on (leaning back etc) but I made the mistake of calling him the other day (Tuesday) while I was staying away for a work event and said I missed him; he got angry and said some very hurtful things which he hasn’t done before and so I tried to stay calm and ended the call. He is currently house-sitting for friends and this would have been the first night he was alone since the whole breakup started. I haven’t chased him too much and given him space, but he inevitably finds excuses to come home an stay over (once a week).
    Since the conversation on Tuesday, I have gone to LC with him. Within two days he text “Are you home?” I didn’t reply and then he tried to call 3 hours later – again I didn’t pick up as I was still pretty hurt.
    Yesterday, he called and then text asking me to call him. I text and it was about ending the tenency on the house and he said he is flat broke – rent is due in two days.
    The house issue is a separate thing to me, what do I do to get him back?

  • Nicky

    Hi Adrian

    My ex ended our 3 year relationship a month ago. We live together although he has spent most of the time staying with friends/family but when he comes home, we end up drinking, watching movies and inveviatably sleeping together…I know, I know. We have a very passionate relationship and we do argue but usually resolve these quickly,

    He started to pull away when he lost his job in November and is in financial crisis, and says he can’t handle the drama between the two of us. This is something I am working on (leaning back etc) but I made the mistake of calling him the other day (Tuesday) while I was staying away for a work event and said I missed him; he got angry and said some very hurtful things which he hasn’t done before and so I tried to stay calm and ended the call. He is currently house-sitting for friends and this would have been the first night he was alone since the whole breakup started. I haven’t chased him too much and given him space, but he inevitably finds excuses to come home an stay over (once a week).

    Since the conversation on Tuesday, I have gone to LC with him. Within two days he text “Are you home?” I didn’t reply and then he tried to call 3 hours later – again I didn’t pick up as I was still pretty hurt.

    Yesterday, he called and then text asking me to call him. I text and it was about ending the tenency on the house and he said he is flat broke – rent is due in two days.

    The house issue is a separate thing to me, what do I do to get him back?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nicky,

      Thanks for sharing your story with me!

      I think that you can get back with him pretty easily if you put a couple of actions in place.

      The breakup occurred mainly because of his professional situation. Men tend to get a lot of their self-esteem from their professional success; and the fact that he lost his job and was “broke” definitely changed the way that he felt about himself! This had a great impact on your relationship as well.

      It’s nearly impossible to be in a happy and healthy relationship, if you are not at peace on your own, with yourself.

      The reason why I am confident that you can quickly turn things around is because you clearly still maintain a strong attraction to one another and because the issues faced were due to “external forces”.

      I do agree that you need to resolve the housing situation ASAP.

      In your case living together is not a good thing because you need to quickly regain a sense of independence and make him feel like you are becoming inaccessible and that you are moving on.

      In other words you need to stop chasing him around, turn him down even if the opportunity presents itself, and put yourself back on the market….find a renewed social life, etc.

      As soon as he realizes that you are slipping away he will come running back. You are the prize here, and he will soon come to realize how lucky he was to have you by his side even when things weren’t going well for him.

      I would love to have the chance to provide you with even more guidance during the course of a one on one coaching session; so if you are serious about doing everything possible to get him back don’t hesitate to reach out!

      I wish you all the best either way in your quest to get back with the man you love.

      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Crystal B.

    Dear Adrian,

    My ex -boyfriend and I have been together one year three months and living together for six months and still are. He dumped me Monday night on the drive home. We are still sleeping in the same bed and I still cook. I’m not sure I’m doing myself any good. He said he still loves me but is done with the relationship which is my fault because I lied about some minor things which was something really big to him. I officially apologize to him face to face he accepted but said we are friends we can’t fix us. I honestly don’t think he truly because his actions are still us based. I believe he’s hurting as much as me and he isn’t forcing me to move out. Do you think there is a way I can win him back? I really love him and believe he is my soulmate and I really messed up and I need some sign to see if this could work or move on so I won’t cause additional pain to myself. Him still being so caring and getting alone like nothing happened and him calling me baby still makes it so confusing for me. Help please!!!!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Crystal,
      Apologies for the delay in getting back to you, I have been overwhelmed with coaching request around valentine’s day. I am sure that your situation has already evolved quite a bit so I invite you to post an other comment to update me on where things stand at the moment. Furthermore, I would need more information in order to guide you in the best possible way…I need to know what you lied about, and how you reacted to the breakup announcement?
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon and wish you the best of luck in your quest to be with the man you love.
      Regards,
      Adrian

      • Crystal B.

        Thank you so much for your reply I’ve been waiting anxiously Coach Adrian I am now at 1 week postpartum of the breakup with my soulmate. I had Lied in the beginning about my birth name ,where my family resided. I have came to the reason I lied to him is because I was ashamed of my current situation and thought I wasn’t good enough for him we have a 13 year gap and I felt I was lacking so much. It crushed me entirely because I thought when he confronted me and I came clean about things we would of been able to work through it start off fresh again. I think it made him question our entire relationship. I have been taking time to work on my self and get into the mind set of moving on. We will be living together for an additional weeks until I can work my 2 weeks notice and move back to my home state. I really want to get my soulmate back but we can’t do the 30 day no contact until I have officially moved out. I know I might be a little in denial but I know my ex still loves me and he has expressed that twice since the break up and he even letting me remain on his phone line. Do you think we could build a new relationship that would be full of honestly and openness? We are currently on friendship level so I think that’s a start.

        • CoachAdrian

          Hey Crystal,
          Thanks for the added info. I do think that it is possible for you to regain the trust of the one you love; and I want to help you get there! I encourage you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to speak via phone or Skype as soon as possible in order to make things right. The challenge for us will be too rebuild your self-esteem first and foremost. You should never feel that who you are isn’t good enough to be with who your heart desires…I will help you overcome these hurdles.
          Looking forward to hear from you.
          From my heart to yours,
          Adrian

  • CJ

    My ex and I, who have been engaged at one point, had a year break, got back together (7-ish years total), we are in our twenties and he says he is still not happy and cant recover/come back from an dramatic depressive episode I had. He will barely acknowledge me in the house and said he doesn’t know what to do. To my mistake, I couldn’t give him enough space and he finally ended it and I knew it was coming, but has not asked me to move out (i just moved in). When I brought it up he said he would help me, but hasn’t thought that far into it. He still loves me, he says and I feel he lays close at night, even though he slept on the couch majority of the time. He just wont look at me and will barely talk. I’m kind of at a loss. Scared, depressed and almost ready to just move on and give up.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey CJ,
      Apologies for not responding sooner, I was sick.
      Listen it seems to me that you have to go through a process of personal development in order to regain a sense of confidence and get back to who you truly are – the one that inspired him at the beginning of your relationship! The fact that there is still compassion, love and care is a good sign and something for us to build upon. But this entire process will start and end with you, and your capacity to evolve and face your fears!
      I would love to help, so don’t hesitate to reach out and book a coaching session with me in order for us to put a plan in place to win him back!
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Shania

    Hello Adrian,

    My boyfriend broke up with me about a day ago and I really want to win him back. I’ve been reading online and realize that I’ve been making a lot of mistakes in just this one day and need advice on how to stop these actions and start doing things that will help him want to be with me again.

    We were together for almost two years and have a few different periods of being “on and off” but his reasoning’s for breaking up seem different this time. In the past we’ve probably broken up and gotten back together about 4 times and it’s always seemed to be for generally the same reason, that he is unhappy and although he wants to stay together, it seems like the wrong choice. And that we follow a cycle of being happy and great together until it slowly fades into what it was before and he’s unhappy.

    This time is different. He says that there’s two parts of him. One is the part that wants to be with me always and images a life with us together. The other part is him wanting to be single and have no restrictions and be able to live his life and achieve his goals without being held back. He says he feels like he’s sacrificing a lot to be with me and isn’t sure if being with me is what he wants the most anymore and that I haven’t made many sacrifices in return. I understand this as I have been very controlling in a lot of ways, but when I said I was willing to make compromises and sacrifices to work it out, he told me it’s more complicated then that. He says he’s happy with me a lot of the time, but also unhappy and those unhappy times have become stronger than the happy ones. Also, that we want different things out of life, which is also true. But I think that despite how different we are in many ways, that we can work through them and embrace our differences. Even from the beginning we’ve always been a kind of “opposites attract” kind of couple.

    So after he told me all this, he broke up with me, and I immediately started to make mistakes. I cried hysterically and pleaded with him to reconsider. I told him I would sacrifice anything and everything to make him happy and do anything to make it work. I told him I need him and can’t live without him. Then he called a family member to come pick me up.

    I’m still at that family members house. I only lasted the night and the next day began to message him and ask if it was okay we were still talking. He said it’s okay as he would like to still be friends and stay in contact. Most of the day I had casual conversation and kept things rather pleasant until a few hours ago I broke down and started spamming him how I was feeling. And this is how I was feeling:

    I felt the breakup was very out of the blue. We were just planning on moving our of our dorm style building (we’re currently sharing an apartment with 5 bedrooms, we each have a separate room but share everything else) and moving into a one bedroom apartment, we were planning to combine our incomes to afford it and had already placed a deposit on getting a dog. He’s the one that convinced me to move in together in the first place a few months ago. We also recently were talking about how we plan to travel to different places and how we would shape that around our lives. We had planned to get married someday and had literally named our children. He gave up something that was really important to him because he knew it bothered me a lot. He seemed very committed. But then suddenly out of the blue he brought up all the issues I mentioned earlier and broke up with me and I didn’t understand what went wrong and why this issues seemed to come up so suddenly.

    We talked about it for awhile and he said there’s a slight possibility of us being together in the future but we would have to be apart for awhile so he can have some space and focus on what he wants, and it would have to be us starting over, and be very different than the relationship we’d been having. But then later when I asked if we ever had a chance together he said “Probably not, I doubt it.” And when I asked about the sacrifices he’s been making that make it so restrictive and about whether or not he sees me in his future he told me that it’s complicated and that he wants me in his future no matter what, but isn’t sure if he wants to be with me.

    I find his answers very confusing and I keep making the mistake of talking to him and bringing this stuff up. At this point he even knows that I’m going to do everything I can to try and convince him I’m worth being with. He’s been my main support for a long time so it’s very difficult not to go to him when I’m upset and need help, he knows me best and helps in a way other people can’t.

    How can I stop coming off as so needy and dependent on him? How can I stop contact completely when we live together and he wants to be friends still? How will I make him start missing me? Should I just avoid him and try not to be home too much and only make polite conversation when he starts it? Should I stop messaging him completely? Or should I go along with being his friend and just try to present myself better? Any advice on what to do to win him back somehow would be greatly appreciated! Sorry this was so long and I thank you for reading it all.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Shania and thank you for sharing your story!
      You guys have deep rooted issues that you never took the time to properly address…that’s why you were in this vicious cycle of always breaking up and getting back together. What tends to happen is that one person in the couple ceases to believe that the other can make them happy, and the other often times become even more emotionally dependent. I understand this dynamic quite well, and have helped many people bounce back. I would recommend that you read this article: https://www.withmyexagain.com/blog/being-emotionally-dependent/ it’s a good place to start.
      Then if you are serious about doing everything possible to win him back, I urge you to reach out to me in order to book a coaching session. This process will require time and hard work, but I do believe that it is possible for you to engage in a new, solid and stable relationship…independent from the trauma of the past.
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Kim Williams

    Adrian, hi my name is Kimberly me and my boyfriend broke up Feb 10,2016. I still live there because I don’t have anywhere to go at the moment and we have a son. We have been together 2 years. I really love this guy with all my heart. Well I have went through his phone several times and seen that he was txting his baby moma asking for sex and reviving picks from her and other women. I have reacted to that by confronting him. Well I have contacted the girls and asked them ? Posing as his cousin. Well he gets mad at me for going through his phone and days ibshould not be in bus phone. I even made a fake Facebook account up which was not the right thing to do. Well when the girl said something to him he got mad and broke up with me saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now but he honestly didn’t want me gone but we could not live together because we weren’t together. I have begged and pleaded my heart to him and it dosent seem to work. I believe he is talking to someone else because from the time he comes home he is txting someone. Like I cook and clean and get his cloths ready. He is very controlling and seems a jellious type. I really don’t no what to do I’ve looked all over the web but I can’t seem to understand what to do. Can u please help me. I don’t want to loose this man. I have asked him if we would get back together and he says yes in the future but not right now

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Kim,
      Based on what you are telling me here it seems that you could be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Your man is not treating you with respect and you should not let your fear of being alone or your love for him prevent you from standing up to him.
      You need to ask yourself if he really deserves you? If this is the man that you really want to be with?
      If you are convinced that you can be happy together and are willing to do everything possible to get him to change and to value you more than I urge you to reach out to me and to book a coaching session.
      It would be my pleasure to support you through this period.
      I wish you all the very best and hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

    • Kim Williams

      Do u think I even stand a chance besides the controlling issue

      • CoachAdrian

        Yes, you always do when you have a plan and when you persevere.
        Best of luck!
        Adrian

  • Javi Maximo

    Hello Adrian .. My name is Javier.. My girlfriend broke up with on Feb. 11th, 2016. I currently live with her in her parents house for the last 6 months.. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. My girl’s name is Jannys. She’s everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend and she’s always managed to stick by me when she felt like I screwed up.. But this time she’s broken up with me and she said it’s done for good this time. People who we mutually known for years have told me that out of the guys she’s been involved in the past with, that I’m her first true love and I believe it because she’s done right by me since Day 1 and has constantly fought her parents over me. We first me on June 28th, 2014 and consummated our relationship on July 2nd which is our anniversary. Happiest day of our lives. Only thing was that our relationship started as a long distance relationship meaning I lived in NYC and she lived in Houston, Texas. At first I really was skeptical about it because of our distance and I didn’t want my time being wasted if she wasn’t in it for the long haul. But seeing as how in love she was with me I decided to take a chance and I’m sure happy I did. During the course of our relationship things were going very well. She’d call me everyday and we’d be on the phone for hours. Even texting me as well. Then as months go by there were things that start to annoy me and it started affecting our relationship, which I deeply regret. For instance , she used to cry a lot to me which was ok at first but then it started bothering me and I told her about it which she didn’t take lightly. Then she used to ask me a lot of questions about everything I did or everyone I knew which made me feel like she was being too nosy. I became somewhat aggressive with her with the way I talked but nonetheless we would always hash it out by talking and apologizing one another. Once December of 2014 came …she came up to NYC to come spend the holidays with me which I was so happy to. But again me being an asshole there were days I wanted to hang out with my friends and she felt like I should’ve spent my time with her visit for that whole month, which is true but at the time I didn’t think like that. I just felt like she was making things a big deal and every time I wanted her to come hang out with me with my friends she never wanted to but she would always want me to come spend time with her and her friends which I didn’t want to either. We did spend time during her one month visit but she felt like it wasn’t enough to her. She didn’t make me realize that until she went back home and I started noticing her becoming real agitated and annoyed with me especially with posts I’d put up on Facebook which never EVER pertained to her. She ended up telling me she needed a break and to take things slow and start off as friends which I couldn’t accept because I was very much in love with her. A couple of weeks go by and she works it out with me. She’s seen me getting a job, I was grooming myself, she saw that I was starting to take care of myself but unfortunately in a matter of days she breaks it off forreal this time all because of a video I posted on social media which basically described me calling unsuccessful girls claiming success with mediocre jobs such as Starbucks and McDonald’s . At the time she was working at Starbucks but I didn’t mean to intentionally hurt her feelings with that because she is successful in her ways by working and going to school. It was a very dark and depressing moment for me at the time which was around March 2015 and I was so depressed that I didn’t get to hear from until May. My mom was so concerned with my well being she asked me what happened and I told her everything and I asked her if she could talk to her for me. She did and she ended up speaking to me again and slowly but surely I regained her love and confidence again. My mom and dad even helped me pay for her ticket to come visit me during the summer. She arrived in NYC on May 26, 2015. Everything was great for the 1st half of the summer and she even ended up getting a job for the summer. But things were going left yet again. There were days I’d leave to go to friends while she was working and I wouldn’t be back home until 8, 9 or 10 pm. We even had a bad fight that she ended up telling me she didn’t want to be with me anymore but I fixed that situation by buying her flowers, a teddy bear and paid to get her hair done. We ended the summer on a good note and we were discussing plans about me leaving to live in Texas. At first she didn’t like the idea of me moving with no money but after some convincing I told her that I’m gonna do whatever it takes. My mom helped me buy a ticket and my told she spoke to her and made her promise that no matter how tough things get between us to try and work things out and don’t leave me in the streets of Texas because I have no one out there and that it was her territory. I moved out to Texas on August 27, 2015. Initially I was supposed to live with her cousin but living conditions were so poor, she ended up convincing her parents to let me stay with her. Biggest mistake I could’ve made because we probably wouldn’t had been arguing or getting into problems as much as we are now. When I moved in things were going great but we would fight here or there. There were times she’d be arguing with me in her car and as soon as we reached a stop light, I would get out the car. I did that at least maybe 3 times. Another time I had gotten upset with her because a job interview she had and she said she was gonna get out a certain time, which I regret because she had no control over that. Fast forward to November 25th, I was scheduled for a road test and unfortunately I was somewhat upset at her because her birthday was 2 days ago and I wanted to do something special for her. She really didn’t want me to stress over that because I didn’t have a job at the time and one of her girlfriend’s took her out for dinner, which kinda upsetted me because my mom sent $50 to take her out but she said she just wanted to have sex with me since we couldn’t do it in her parents house. Once she told me that, that’s all I could think about seeing as we haven’t had sex since she was living with me in NYC. The day when the road test came which was 2 days later, I had asked her if we could go to a hotel after the test and she told me that wasn’t important right now. Right then and there I got mad because I kinda felt like I knew she was gonna do that and to make matters even worse I couldn’t take the test because the car had failed inspection. I ended placing displaced anger at her and blamed her for me not being able to get a license when really I was more upset that I couldn’t have sex with her. So she ended up breaking up with yet a 2nd time and it took her sisters to get both of us together to talk and yet again let me work my way up to her heart again. I ended up getting a job and little by little she started accepting me again and around mid-December she asked me would I like to be her boyfriend again. Fast foward to February 6, 2016… I had just gotten hired for a new job and she was helping me buy work clothes. When I came back from Wal-Mart she was on the phone with one of her friends from college and they were basically discussing on planning a trip to go to Austin, TX for her friend’s birthday. Unfortunately I didn’t like the idea of her going and I had expressed my concern to her about not going instead of putting myself in her shoes. I mean just thinking about it.. Who was I to say she can’t go somewhere.. I’m not her dad, she’s grown, she works and goes to school. I felt so stupid just thinking about it and I haven’t been able to sleep or eat ever since. I thought the issue was so small that she would get over it in a couple of days. But she didn’t, a couple of days later on the 11th she broke up with me and told me she wasn’t happy. She told me I was mean and disrespect and that she was bringing up old situations in the past while I was trying to explain to her that everything that I achieved in Texas was because of her and that she helped me achieve in that in the last 6 months. I never twisted her arm to do anything for me because I knew she did things for me out the kindness of her heart. I was in shock because I felt like this couldn’t be happening again especially after going through the same thing last year. The crazy part about it was that maybe 2 days later I was going to meet an uncle of mine to borrow money from him so I could do something for her for Valentine’s Day and she asked me where I was going.. I told her to pick up some money and I asked her if she was hungry and she said yes… Before I left out the house she told me that she loved me and I said it back.. That was the last time she told me “I Love You” on February 12 or 13th.. On Valentine’s Day, we spent the day watching the All-Star game at her sister’s house and I surprised her with a teddy bear and some flowers. She graciously accepted and she still has them. Then things started going downhill.. A couple of days later, I saw this guy come to the house and drop off a shirt for her and he was having a full blown conversation with her for 3-4 hours until it was time for her to leave school. I even overheard her talking to some guy about how our relationship has gone downhill but after some thorough investigation, it was just a guy she had dealt with in the past. Then I found out that she was gonna consider talking to another dude but he ended being rude to her and she blocked him off everything, social media and phone. Then come to find the guy that dropped off her shirt is some guy she goes to school with. Her parents don’t like her getting involved with people especially that she just got out of a relationship with me. She doesn’t lie to her parents ever so she’s telling them he’s just a friend. I even found out that he took her to Victoria Secret and spent over $300 in underwear for her and that she’s been hanging out with him to eat and stuff. She says that the guy is basically begging to be with her and waiting for her to get out her “being single” mentality but she’s not really trying to start anything with him. Her family told me that she’s only doing this to get a reaction out of me and to make me jealous because they feel like she really is still in love with me but she’s showing that she doesn’t care because she’s still mad at me. Her whole reason for the break up is because she felt like I depended on her too much and I pressured her too much and it was emotionally draining. Her family says that if I show her and prove to her I can move out and live on my own that she will eventually reach out to me. I love her so much and the thought of me just fading away from her life is something that scares me because when were together , her love for me was very obvious but now the way she’s acting …it’s if I never existed.. But her family is saying to keep hope alive because my girl doesn’t accept weak minded people. Do you honestly think I still have a chance with her I move away? The 11th of March, 2016 will make one month of our break-up… She doesn’t want me here anymore but yet she still accepts the fact that I’m in her house. I snuck in her room to find out a lot, if there was still any hope for us. The teddy bears I have bought for her are hidden in her closet, she still has socks, t-shirts and underwears that belong to me in her drawer cabinet. She still has photos of us in her laptop. Sometimes she asks her cousin if I’m home or not or where did I go. But lately, I’ve been doing things that’s hurting my chances and I’m gonna stop because I don’t want to look like a creep. She’s found I eavesdrop her calls, I rode by her job one time, I tried to come in her room not knowing she was there and I went passed her school one day. Of course, I’m denying it extremely because I don’t want her to think I’m crazy or anything and plus she’s been hanging out with that dude from her school. The entire last week she was with him. She’s letting him pick her up and drop her off from her house and school, I don’t know where she hangs out with him an entire day, I highly doubt she’s sleeping with him, but I know her enough that you can’t buy her love. When she first met me, I didn’t have a cent to my name but the love I could give her. Her family tells me that I’m the only boyfriend she’s ever been real serious in life. Her dad even said I got lucky with her but I think of it more as a blessing. I’m so stressed. I know the best thing I need to do is give her space and time and move out. My thing is regardless of her saying I have no chance and her keeping memorabilia and her listening to her friends, I know she still cares about me although she won’t show it… Do I still have a chance to get her back? Please let me know… She’s a very great person and she’s done more than enough to help me… I got a job , a car and my license because of her… She’s the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.. I’ve never had a connection with anyone else other than her and she’s told me the same… But I just hope with this space and time with me working on myself is enough for her to see that I’ll be the man she always wanted me to be… Another question is should I worry about this guy trying to be with her? We’ve been together for almost 2 years and the great thing about our relationship is that we never had to worry about infidelity… Just lack of communication… I know she’s doing this because we aren’t together but does it mean that I can still win her back?

    • Javi Maximo

      Can you help??

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Javi,

      Thank you for sharing your story and apologies for the delay in getting back to you; I have been receiving a lot of coaching requests which have delayed me in responding to comments like yours!

      Right off the bat let me tell you that I do believe that we can win her back and I agree with her parents; I think that a lot of her actions have been done to get a reaction and for attention.

      Somewhere along the line during the long distance you lost yourself in this relationship; and the balance of power completely shifted to her side! It was her who was needy (at first which enabled you to dictate the tempo) and who needed to be reassured, but then all of a sudden you became the one that was emotionally dependent and so you pushed her away!

      In order to get her back, we have to get you to once again be who you were at the beginning of your relationship; if you let go, control your emotions and stop chasing her, she will gravitate back to you…

      You have to become a challenge for her once again, and I believe that I can help you achieve this goal!

      If you are serious about doing everything possible to get he back I urge you to reach out to me in order for us to put a plan together for you to reach your goal.
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.

      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Javi Maximo

    PART 2 continued:

    that situation by buying her flowers, a teddy bear and paid to get her hair done. We ended the summer on a good note and we were discussing plans about me leaving to live in Texas. At first she didn’t like the idea of me moving with no money but after some convincing I told her that I’m gonna do whatever it takes. My mom helped me buy a ticket and my told she spoke to her and made her promise that no matter how tough things get between us to try and work things out and don’t leave me in the streets of Texas because I have no one out there and that it was her territory. I moved out to Texas on August 27, 2015. Initially I was supposed to live with her cousin but living conditions were so poor, she ended up convincing her parents to let me stay with her. Biggest mistake I could’ve made because we probably wouldn’t had been arguing or getting into problems as much as we are now. When I moved in things were going great but we would fight here or there. There were times she’d be arguing with me in her car and as soon as we reached a stop light, I would get out the car. I did that at least maybe 3 times. Another time I had gotten upset with her because a job interview she had and she said she was gonna get out a certain time, which I regret because she had no control over that. Fast forward to November 25th, I was scheduled for a road test and unfortunately I was somewhat upset at her because her birthday was 2 days ago and I wanted to do something special for her. She really didn’t want me to stress over that because I didn’t have a job at the time and one of her girlfriend’s took her out for dinner, which kinda upsetted me because my mom sent $50 to take her out but she said she just wanted to have sex with me since we couldn’t do it in her parents house. Once she told me that, that’s all I could think about seeing as we haven’t had sex since she was living with me in NYC. The day when the road test came which was 2 days later, I had asked her if we could go to a hotel after the test and she told me that wasn’t important right now. Right then and there I got mad because I kinda felt like I knew she was gonna do that and to make matters even worse I couldn’t take the test because the car had failed inspection. I ended placing displaced anger at her and blamed her for me not being able to get a license when really I was more upset that I couldn’t have sex with her. So she ended up breaking up with yet a 2nd time and it took her sisters to get both of us together to talk and yet again let me work my way up to her heart again. I ended up getting a job and little by little she started accepting me again and around mid-December she asked me would I like to be her boyfriend again. Fast foward to February 6, 2016… I had just gotten hired for a new job and she was helping me buy work clothes. When I came back from Wal-Mart she was on the phone with one of her friends from college and they were basically discussing on planning a trip to go to Austin, TX for her friend’s birthday. Unfortunately I didn’t like the idea of her going and I had expressed my concern to her about not going instead of putting myself in her shoes. I mean just thinking about it.. Who was I to say she can’t go somewhere.. I’m not her dad, she’s grown, she works and goes to school. I felt so stupid just thinking about it and I haven’t been able to sleep or eat ever since. I thought the issue was so small that she would get over it in a couple of days. But she didn’t, a couple of days later on the 11th she broke up with me and told me she wasn’t happy. She told me I was mean and disrespect and that she was bringing up old situations in the past while I was trying to explain to her that everything that I achieved in Texas was because of her and that she helped me achieve in that in the last 6 months. I never twisted her arm to do anything for me because I knew she did things for me out the kindness of her heart. I was in shock because I felt like this couldn’t be happening again especially after going through the same thing last year. The crazy part about it was that maybe 2 days later I was going to meet an uncle of mine to borrow money from him so I could do something for her for Valentine’s Day and she asked me where I was going.. I told her to pick up some money and I asked her if she was hungry and she said yes… Before I left out the house she told me that she loved me and I said it back.. That was the last time she told me “I Love You” on February 12 or 13th.. On Valentine’s Day, we spent the day watching the All-Star game at her sister’s house and I surprised her with a teddy bear and some flowers. She graciously accepted and she still has them. Then things started going downhill.. A couple of days later, I saw this guy come to the house and drop off a shirt for her and he was having a full blown conversation with her for 3-4 hours until it was time for her to leave school. I even overheard her talking to some guy about how our relationship has gone downhill but after some thorough investigation, it was just a guy she had dealt with in the past. Then I found out that she was gonna consider talking to another dude but he ended being rude to her and she blocked him off everything, social media and phone. Then come to find the guy that dropped off her shirt is some guy she goes to school with. Her parents don’t like her getting involved with people especially that she just got out of a relationship with me. She doesn’t lie to her parents ever so she’s telling them he’s just a friend. I even found out that he took her to Victoria Secret and spent over $300 in underwear for her and that she’s been hanging out with him to eat and stuff. She says that the guy is basically begging to be with her and waiting for her to get out her “being single” mentality but she’s not really trying to start anything with him. Her family told me that she’s only doing this to get a reaction out of me and to make me jealous because they feel like she really is still in love with me but she’s showing that she doesn’t care because she’s still mad at me. Her whole reason for the break up is because she felt like I depended on her too much and I pressured her too much and it was emotionally draining. Her family says that if I show her and prove to her I can move out and live on my own that she will eventually reach out to me. I love her so much and the thought of me just fading away from her life is something that scares me because when were together , her love for me was very obvious but now the way she’s acting …it’s if I never existed.. But her family is saying to keep hope alive because my girl doesn’t accept weak minded people. Do you honestly think I still have a chance with her I move away? The 11th of March, 2016 will make one month of our break-up… She doesn’t want me here anymore but yet she still accepts the fact that I’m in her house. I snuck in her room to find out a lot, if there was still any hope for us. The teddy bears I have bought for her are hidden in her closet, she still has socks, t-shirts and underwears that belong to me in her drawer cabinet. She still has photos of us in her laptop. Sometimes she asks her cousin if I’m home or not or where did I go. But lately, I’ve been doing things that’s hurting my chances and I’m gonna stop because I don’t want to look like a creep. She’s found I eavesdrop her calls, I rode by her job one time, I tried to come in her room not knowing she was there and I went passed her school one day. Of course, I’m denying it extremely because I don’t want her to think I’m crazy or anything and plus she’s been hanging out with that dude from her school. The entire last week she was with him. She’s letting him pick her up and drop her off from her house and school, I don’t know where she hangs out with him an entire day, I highly doubt she’s sleeping with him, but I know her enough that you can’t buy her love. When she first met me, I didn’t have a cent to my name but the love I could give her. Her family tells me that I’m the only boyfriend she’s ever been real serious in life. Her dad even said I got lucky with her but I think of it more as a blessing. I’m so stressed. I know the best thing I need to do is give her space and time and move out. My thing is regardless of her saying I have no chance and her keeping memorabilia and her listening to her friends, I know she still cares about me although she won’t show it… Do I still have a chance to get her back? Please let me know… She’s a very great person and she’s done more than enough to help me… I got a job , a car and my license because of her… She’s the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.. I’ve never had a connection with anyone else other than her and she’s told me the same… But I just hope with this space and time with me working on myself is enough for her to see that I’ll be the man she always wanted me to be… Another question is should I worry about this guy trying to be with her? We’ve been together for almost 2 years and the great thing about our relationship is that we never had to worry about infidelity…Just lack of communication… I know she’s doing this because we aren’t together but does it mean that I can still win her back?

  • Barbara Warburton

    Adrian,
    My name is Barbara – and my boyfriend just recently broke up with me almost a week ago. We have lived together for almost two years and seriously dating for over three. I moved to a city six hours away from my home so we wouldn’t have to do long distance anymore. I got a job here which I really like – but don’t have any close friends to talk to about this. We are currently still living together – as I have no where to really go and no real financial means at the moment to move out. We also have a dog together who turns two tomorrow.

    When this happened he said that he felt like there was a disconnect and we don’t really communicate that well anymore. I can’t say I disagree with this – as in the past we have gotten in arguments about the other not listening or talking too much – and because of this I noticed I often pull back in conversations to try not to over speak. However I had no idea that he felt it was this bad – where there wasn’t anything that could be done to fix it. Another thing I’ve been pondering of the last week is when we had those arguments we would tell each other what bothered us – yet we never talked about it again. Or if we got in an argument – the next day we would rarely discuss it – which I think contributed to all of this. However I don’t know how to make someone talk about something when they clearly don’t want to talk about it. The thing that gets me is we hadn’t had any arguments lately and I thought we were getting on rather well.

    He mentioned that we have a great relationship, that he still loves me, but he thinks the communication issue is really unhealthy and that it isn’t working anymore. All he could really say to me is that sometimes things don’t work out…which I agree – except for when someone moves to be with you – gives up everything and you have been dating for over three years and have a real life together.

    Since we have been very pleasant towards each other, kind, friendly, helpful. Nothing seems out of the norm – as we still hang out and watch movies together, crack jokes and play with our dog. This almost makes it all the more hard to come to the realization that it’s really over. Yesterday I caught myself as I called him babe – because we seemed so normal – I unfortunately cried myself to sleep shortly after.

    I am the one who is expected to move out as when I moved in my boyfriend didn’t ask/want me to pay for rent or anything. He’s really kind and thoughtful like that – and said he wasn’t kicking me out, that I could take my time and if I needed help with money he’d help me. However I don’t want money, and I don’t want to move and I don’t want to be broken up. I want to be in the home we made together. Where everything that belongs in are things we picked out together, from our couch to our TV, dishes, even our dog.

    Any advice you have for me would be helpful. I am completely heartbroken and I just need to know how to open the door and start the conversation.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Barbara,

      Thank you for sharing your story and apologies for the delay in getting back to you, I’ve just been super busy!

      I feel your pain and understand exactly what you are going through. I think that it will be possible for you to get him back; and I say this confidently because some of his actions are very positive: like the fact that you guys are still on good terms is a big plus!

      Also he seems to be a good and reasonable man who simply let resentment build up and lost faith in your ability to make him happy. Furthermore your relationship was definitely plagued by major communication issues, that I believe can be fixed. So don’t despair we can change it all around!

      I would advise you to give each other some space, and perhaps leave for 10 days or 2 weeks or so. Going to a relative’s house for a little bit for instance could be a a way for him to miss you and realize what you mean to him! But this needs to happen on your terms, it needs to be your decision to leave and not his.

      You can also use the excuse of looking for a new place, and the need to sort your life out as the excuse for going away for “a little bit”.

      Then during this time, I would want us to put together a plan in order to maximize your chances of getting back together. If you are serious about doing everything possible to win him back, please book a one on one coaching session and reach out to me!

      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

      • Barbara Warburton

        How do you go about booking a one on one coaching session?

        • CoachAdrian

          Hey Barbara, you can book a coaching session via the following link:

          https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/

          I look forward to hear from you in order to help you meet your goals.
          Best,
          Adrian

  • Midge Grey

    Greetings Adrian,
    Hi, my name is Midge. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three and a half years and lived together for a year and a half. He owns the house and has a very good, high-paying career. He is sixteen my senior but is young at heart. I have a degree in art and live in a small town so I usually get office jobs. I say that because I have probably have had four jobs in the past year. I seem to keep a job for a few months and then get laid off due to downsizing, etc. (nothing I have done). When I moved in I had a decent admin job that lasted four years.
    Two weeks ago we went out to a local pub for a beer. We discussed future topics, such as what type of plants I wanted to landscape the lawn with, among other things. I left after two pints and went “home.” He stayed out until closing time. When he walked in the door he seemed a good mood. I was in the office on the computer. All of a sudden he comes in, starts crying, and says he doesn’t think we should date anymore. I was so flabbergasted I almost fainted. He explained that we are “too different.” It was very vague. This was a Sunday night. Three days prior I had just started a very prestigious, high-paying job that actually had something to do with my degree. I was ecstatic about this and was doing really well in training. That night we ending up talking, arguing, discussing until 3:30am. I was upset because I had to go to my new job the next morning and “how dare he” come in and spring this on me like that. That night he slept in the guest room but drunkenly wandered in the bed later. We were intimate (I know…boo…) and he was pretty tipsy. I got up promptly to get ready for work. He called in “sick.”
    That day at work I could not help myself from crying. It was a front desk job so I went in the bathroom when I felt upset, no crying out in the office, I was just a bit red in the face. ANYHOW, the owner calls me that night to fire me for “being too emotional!” I won’t get into how messed up that seemed. AND it was his fault I was upset in the first place!
    When I got home, my boyfriend and I had “a talk.” He basically reiterated what was said the other night, however as days/hours went by he kept changing/adding the story. I already suspected it was due to the fact that I wasn’t contributing as much. Believe me, I tried. Whenever I lost a job he would hug me and tell me “we will get through this, I support you because I love you,” and so on. Therefore I didn’t think it was a HUGE deal. One reason it didn’t work was that he would never communicate with me honestly or harsh, it was always sugar coated or bs.
    The next day my Grandmother, whom I was VERY close to, passed away. I was devastated. I lost my best friend, job, and my grandmother in just three days. He apologized for his bad timing, ha. I was so lost I considered suicide and even began writing letters to loved ones (I have since talked this through with my psychologist).
    I know now he did it because he was “tired of trying to solve my problems for me” and related issues. He was not FULLY supporting me, only paying the mortgage, but I understand how frustrating it can be. However, It is not easy maintaining a job where I live. My full time career WAS looking for a job. I had several interviews every couple of weeks. I didn’t sleep all day. I am not lazy.
    We are both artists and artists are selfish. He accused me of not going through with plans of projects I had but he does the same thing.
    I left and stayed with my Mom while my Dad was out of town for two weeks. After he came back though, I had nowhere to go. So, I am living with my ex for two weeks as we agreed while I look for work.
    I love him and cannot imagine being with anybody else. His parents were expecting an engagement announcement soon! lol….Perhaps he is just a forever bachelor.. He is in his late forties and has never been married or has any children. Perhaps he is gay:)
    Sorry this is so lengthy and a bit disorientated.
    I am trying my best but he said it won’t just be like “oh I got hired here is some money for your troubles.” I am at a loss for what to do.
    I would appreciate any advice you could offer.
    Thank You for your time, if you actually did read this novella of a comment. 🙂
    -Midge

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Midge,

      Thank you for sharing your story with me!

      I am truly sorry for your loss and for everything that has happened to you in such a short period of time. I am very happy and relieved that you were able to talk to your psychologist and get some perspective on it all.

      You have to approach this chapter of your life through the lens of a process of personal growth and self rediscovery. Forget about trying to get back with your ex, you need to find some inner balance, a sense of independence and autonomy, and to be fulfilled professionally. This should be your highest priority…and happiness in love will soon follow!

      I would love to have the chance to guide you more during a one on one coaching session over the phone, in order to provide you with a plan for personal reconstruction and to dig a little deeper into the true causes of your breakup. It does indeed feel like a lot of things were left unsaid on his side…

      However, I understand if money is tight in your situation. Either way, I wish you all the very best; stay strong!

      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Jasmine

    Hi Adrian,

    I was the reason why my relationship ended with my ex boyfriend. Being 20 in a relationship with someone 10 years older just proved that I was incapable of being in a serious relationship. Our age difference did not affect our love for each other, but my decisions. We have been together for 2+ years and lived together for a year and a half. I had insecurity issues and the wrong guidance and it led me to a mistake he could never overlook and reconsider our relationship terms… We know we love each other, but I need some growing up to do. in these past couple of months we have been arguing and getting back together… But I feel like this is really it. We’re staying here for about a month until he’s going to move…. I was supposed to move in with him, but I ruined my chances. I love him with all my heart, and I am just hoping that maybe within this month he can see the light in our relationship and see a future. Not only did I loose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend. He says he’s not interested in dating other people, and I’m not interested in seeing other people as well. He hints that maybe we could come together and be In a relationship after a while… It just hurts to see him everyday knowing I hurt him…. I know we still care for each other, but do you think there’s still hope? Despite what I have done, he’s still nice and communicating with me. We have a dog together which would probably stay with him, but how do I go about visiting our dog…

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jasmine,
      Thank you for sharing your story with me and apologies for taking a week to get back to you…I’ve really been busy trying to keep up with coaching requests!
      Based on what you are telling me, you can still turn everything around and win him back; positive signs are remain…he is still nice to you, and isn’t completely closing the door on the relationship either. I am sure that much has changed in a week, but I would advise you to leave the house on your own terms before the big move.
      This will empower you and play on his fears of losing you forever. The fact that you have a dog will be good excuse to touch base with him in a couple of weeks to gauge where we stand!
      The best would be for us to touch base through a one on one coaching session in order for me to help you meet your goals!
      Don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel that you need the added support.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • CharlieV13

    Hi Adrian

    I am certainly living with my ex fiance and we have a one bedroom apartment with out pets and we still sleep in the same bed, we were also engaged. I made the mistake to cheat on her but not physically just talking to other girls online and I guess it was just a fantasy and hurt her in a so bad that we are on a break or past break but she says she needs time and I understand that and she told me that she was unhappy before all of this started and then she was happy again but then this happens. She goes and starts hanging out with a guy who works with us who I thought was my friend and but just wanted to be with her from the first day they met and they slept together in our apartment and I kicked her out because of it but then I told her she can come back and now that she has forgiving me for everything and I want her back, she still says she needs time yet we still cuddle and kiss and everything else just not the commitment stuff. I don’t know what to do from here I like it when she cuddles and kisses me we even went to have dates and sleep with each other but she still wants time and doesn’t know what she wants

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Charlie,
      Thanks for sharing your story!
      I truly believe that you are inches away from getting that commitment that you are looking for. She is simply trying to make you pay for what you allegedly did. The key here will be to not chase her or put her on a pedestal, in order for her to naturally gravitate back towards you, and to turn the tables around. If you stop looking to define the relationship, she will be the one looking for that commitment from you.
      However you need to do this the right way in order for her not to think that you are no longer interested or that you’ve again met someone else online. The best would be for us to speak during a one on one coaching session for me to provide you with personal guidance and a tailored game plan.
      Looking forward to hear from you, and good luck either way!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Sara

    Dear Adrian, Me and my boyfriend of almost 7 years broke up about 6 months ago. we lived in the same house for a while before he left and began dating another woman for 2 months . that didn’t work out and he came back home about a week ago . my life felt whole again seeing him. he told me that if we work on ourselves and take things slow maybe theres a chance to get back together. things were good for a few days saying i love you spending time together. then all of a sudden his mind set changed . he blocked me from seeing things on his facebook and re added the girl he just left and is now saying that were not together and i need to stop telling people that we are and that he doesn’t know if there is hope. were on a lease together but that didn’t stop him from leaving before. he says he doesnt want me to get hurt so he doesn’t know what to do. i am very lost and confused and want nothing but to have him back. i think some of my old ways turned him off but i dont really know he is confusing me. i love seeing him everyday but i dont know what to do if he starts dating again or goes back to that other woman should i tell him to leave or give him space like he has asked?? i am so lost please help

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Sara,
      Thank you for reaching out!
      I am sorry to have to tell you that you are being taken advantage of emotionally… You are too nice and your boyfriend is using your love and kindness against you. If you love this man and want to make it work, you will have to give him a bit of tough love, and even bluff a bit. What do I mean? You need to ask him to leave, and tell him that you can no longer allow him to do this back and forth to you. Don’t be afraid to lose him… He will never be able to commit to you until you are strong enough to stand up to him and to value yourself! Once you do so, the tables will turn and he will be the one chasing you!
      I urge you to book a coaching session in order for me to support you through this! I know how difficult it can be and I would love to be there to help you make this right!
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Rob

    Hi there, I am currently going through some bad stuff right now.

    My ex girlfriend and I were together for 3 and a half years, she recently broke up with me about 4 days ago.

    3 weeks ago i had woken up from sleep because her phone was going off, i checked it because i wanted to silence it. Unfortunately i saw some disturbing messages where my girlfriend was texting a guy very sexually. I won’t go into details. Of course i blew up and yelled. She then had told me that she was sorry, but then began to tell me that she hasnt been happy with our relationship for the last 3 months. Something that she never told me, she never sat down with me to communicate that she was unhappy, she just let it build up inside her as she was hoping for me to change what she didnt like without telling me.

    I love this woman. I moved away from my family for her, I turned down a long distant job opportunity for her because i wanted to be with her and not in a long distance relationship. I stayed for her. Ive done nothing but do my best to care for her and do my best to make her happy.

    Heres what she told me why shes been unhappy with me: She said that i dont like to go out as much as her with either her friends or family, which isnt 100% true. I may not have gone out every single time, but we always went out and did stuff every other week. Its also good to mention that my current job sometimes requires me to go out of town for 2-3 weeks at a time, which probably didnt help my situation.

    After speaking with her, i had told her that i am willing to forgive her mistake, and that i am also willing to work on myself and that we can work on our relationship together. But apparently she doesnt think that i am capable of changing, so she doesnt want to be with me anymore, she wont even give me a chance to prove that i am capable of change, not just for her, but for me and us too.

    To no avail, she still doesnt believe i can change and dumped me. The only change that she wanted me to do was to just go out more, which is what i am able to do. The main reason i didnt go out as much as she wanted before, was because im self conscious about my looks and that i was embarrassed to go out. But once i actually go out, i have a good time and she knows that. But again, shes not willing to see that im able to change.

    Anyways, this woman is the love of my life, and at one point she thought we could get married. We talked alot about what we wanted for our future house.

    I believe that i can change for myself and for her, and for us. But how can I win her back? How can i change her perception of me where she thinks im incapable of change?

    I am willing and wanting to do everything possible in order for us to be back together and be happy, and of course to be stronger together.

    I need advice.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Rob,
      Thank you for sharing your story! You are too nice and got taken advantage of in this relationship. Ultimately your lack of self confidence and your kindness (willingness to compromise for her) is what led to the breakup.
      I believe that you can win her back, and that she can value you for all that you are and all that you do! I think that I can help you bounce back…
      So please book a coaching session with me in order for us to speak within the next 24 hours and get this situation turned around ASAP.
      Looking forward to hear from you.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • jenna

    Hi. Me and my ummm ex have been together for 6 Years and broke up in July. Unfortunately we still live together since I do not have above at the moment. I have two children(not his) and he is very in love with them. We broke up because of past trust issues from when we first started dating that he can’t let go of even thoughn one of that stuff matters or affects us in any way it was 6 years ago. No cheating or anythingl ike that just a small white lie. He has lies to me in the last as well. And we have been fine since we decided to forgivee each other. Last July I guess he was on edge after a argumenta nd just broke up with me and said he’s tired of being in a relationship..it hurt but I accepted it even though I didn’t want to.

    Fast forward and we still are physical with each other but he sleeps on the couch and everything is normal like we are togetherb it we are not and I have asked him what is the difference in being together and not being together when everything is still the same and he says he just doesn’t want to be with me…now people would say it’s probablya mother womanb it its not. He has no cell phone and he works 3-11 five days a week and cones straight home and doesn’t go out ever so I’m stuck on if I should move on and change my attitude or not…please help..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Jenna,
      Sorry it took so long to get back to you! I believe that I can help you get the girlfriend title back; based on what you are saying you are almost together and it seems that just a few targeted actions could speed the process of being in a happy and fulfilling relationship.
      Don’t hesitate to reach out to me, if we work together I am pretty sure that we could turn this around quite quickly.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Jackie

    me and my boyfriend of 8 months now moved int together after 5 months. I have a 6 year old boy who is not his and this past week he told me he “lost feelings and doesn’t feel the same”. We had gotten into a stupid argument over dishes and he did not like the way I spoke, but only told me this after a month had passed. I do everything for him, cook clean, intimacy whenever, take care of him, financially, im into sports and cars ect ect. I love him very much. I do not want to lose him I begged him to just give it time. I dont feel he should give up so easily especially over something so small. He said it reminded him of his ex. The messed up thing is 3 weeks ago we signed a lease for our new apartment, then he said lets get you a car (I needed a new one) and we can make it financially. But then turns around and does this. Like wtf right? How do I get him back? we cant get out of this lease and he is agreeing to move with me still, which is crazy to me. I mean I don’t have a choice really but to move, I have my little one to think about. Help!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jackie,
      Thank you for reaching out! The fact that you are moving in together and that he is still OK with it is a very good sign. Stop trying to convince him to take you back, you are only pushing him away by putting him on a pedestal. You seem to be an amazing girlfriend and in time if you stop chasing him he will naturally start to gravitate back towards you. I urge you to book a coaching session with me so that I can provide you with an in depth plan to see this through…
      Best of luck either way.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Andrea

    My break up is rather complicated. I have been struggling with bipolar depression off an on. My girlfriend of 3.5 years, we’re both women, I thought understood my mental struggle. One week before my birthday we had an argument and the next thing I knew she changed her FB relationship status to single and then my sister sends her condolences on my break up. At this point my girlfriend hadn’t talked with me at all. Two days later she changes her FB status again to into a relationship with a known guy friend we met 2 months prior.
    We did talk eventually and it wasn’t pretty. We still live together because the lease isn’t up and neither of us can afford to move. We are civil as possible and she’s told me she wants to be friends. I simply can’t because of the betrayal and cheating.
    Her now boyfriend is divorce with 3 young kids because his wife cheated. And now she keeps hinting that we should hang out and go on outings. She acts like she wants to be together but I can’t tell for sure or if she’s only in it for the attention.

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Andrea,
    Thank you for sharing your story!
    I would love to have the chance to work with you and help you get back with the one you love if you are ready to forgive…and if this is the woman you want to be with!
    I have helped people who were facing similar circumstances before and I believe that I could really help you here.
    I sincerely hope to hear from you soon,
    From my heart to yours,
    Adrian

  • Marissa

    I recently had a breakup with my boyfriend of 3 years. He almost immediately had a new girl (seems to point as a rebound) and is spending a week away with her getting drunk and partying. He told me he needs space and to find himself, but I didn’t have to move out. I know the last two months there had been fighting, and he said he doesn’t want to fight anymore. I think he views every interaction with me as a potential confrontation. Isn’t it a good thing I don’t have to move? I am already getting fitter and I know why we failed before, and I think he’s gonna be blown away when he sees me again.
    So is it a good thing I am staying and should I be friendly if he brings his new girl over? Should I plan to see him sparingly and be busy?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Marissa,
      I love your approach, mindset and what you have already been able to accomplish.
      I would need to speak to you over the phone to give you the best advice possible and to understand the dynamic better; but based on the limited information that you have provided here I would lean towards the mirror technique initially, basing your actions and attitude on his, specifically as it pertains to how he positions himself with the new girl. Perhaps moving out should eventually be considered to regain control over the situation and to leverage reverse psychology.
      Would love to have the chance to work together, so please reach out if you are serious about doing everything possible to make things right.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Ryan Whitehead

    ok here goes. My girlfriend and I bought a house in November. exciting time after 4 years. talked about kids and marriage. This past Easter we broke up. complicated situation where it seemed like she wanted me to break up with her. We broke up because she cheated on me with a guy from work. WE ALL WORK AT THE SAME PLACE! I cannot get away from her or this guy she cheated on me with. She continues to hang out with this guy even though our supervisor has separated the two of them. How am I supposed to do no contact? By being or acting positive…Am I inadvertently saying in a non verbal way that what she did is ok and her continuing to hang out with this guy is alright also? This evening she brought up conversation to ask am I ok. we talked for a bit. we also have to talk about paying bills and such. What is the Best approach here?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ryan, your situation is really unique and I recommend that you book a session with me so that we can work together. I do believe that I can help you turn this around, but you are absolutely right…being too nice here could make you look weak and less attractive.
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Ryan Whitehead

        Hello Adrian,

        Hey I was just wondering how do I book a session with you? My Ex wants to live in the house we just bought for another year to make some improvements and its a safe place to stay. She then wants to sell it in the spring of 2017 or have me buy her out. She is hard to connect with. I know that she is already sleeping with another guy, but when I ask her she doesn’t admit it. I know that she is. She is very emotionally detached from me. How on earth am I supposed to handle this?
        thanks for your help,
        Ryan

  • Ori

    I’m 24 and my bf is 26. We broke up last night and we live together. Our relationship moved fast. We became a couple on our fast date and I moved in with him in less than 3 months. We have one child each from previous relationships. My toddler lives with us. My boyfriend and I were together for almost 8 months. We’ve been arguing a lot lately. Mostly due to me nitpicking and initiating physical altercations when I’m upset. He admitted that he still loves me (I love him too) but he said he sees himself hating me in the future if our relationship continues the way it has been. He said he wants to end it so that he doesn’t wind up hating me. He’s forgiven me numerous times for hitting him. And has taken me back a lot. I feel like he’s finally reached his breaking point and has lost all patience for me. I feel so bad. I want him back and I want to show him that I can be the girl he fell in love with again without the negativity. He said he doesn’t know how long he can allow me to continue to live with him. Seeing as how he pays rent for us and if he lived on his own he could get a studio or one bedroom for much cheaper (we have 2 bedrooms). I’m not used to long term relationships like he is so I haven’t learned how to compromise as well as him. He’s a great guy and I don’t want to lose him. Help me please!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ori,
      I advise you to book a coaching session with me in order for us to quickly start to work together and address your emotional baggage. It’s probably still possible to get him back because you reacted quickly after the but time is of the essence because you’ve made tons of mistakes that are clearly linked to traumas linked to past experiences.
      I hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

    • Amber Malcolm

      My boyfriend and I broke up the other night out of no where, I guess I egged it on asking him things I didn’t need to ask. He broke up with me cause we always fought about little things and he claimed I never helped ckean.we live together still due to the lease so in 6 months he may leave and I desperately want us together again, I’ve been cleaning infront of him more and we casually talk, he asks me how my day was and so forth im just in a fog! What can I do??

      • Coach natalie

        Amber,
        Thank you for reaching out. It’s definitely tough when you’re broken up but still living together. I’m actually working with another client who’s in your same boat! I think you would benefit from a session with me, where we can build a roadmap on how to get him back before the lease is up. Please let me know your availability.
        Sincerely,
        Natalie

  • Ryan Whitehead

    Hello Adrian,
    How do you book a session with you?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ryan,
      You can book a coaching here:
      https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
      Or just reach out to me via the contact us tab and I will send you a Paypal invoice if that’s easier.
      Looking forward to helping you meet your goals!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Hondra Smith

    Okay so me and my girlfriend just broke up two days ago. Our relationship started off really fast we met in Chicago at a business meeting. And then things just kicked off from there. After a month of talking I moved states and got a place with her. And we have been dating for 5 months We would have petty arguments and a couple of time I yelled at her. But we moved past it and then one night I left her at the bar because one of our co workers (female) that we both knew wanted to go to another one and we were already outside and I knew I should of told her but my co worker said we would be back in a second. Well that really up set her she said it broke her heart and then I went through her phone because I thought she was lying to me and that hurt her too. She alway told me that I make her so happy and that she loves me so so much but after the incidents we had a long emotional conversation and she wanted to make things work and then 3 days later. I felt her being distant and asked to talk she said she didn’t know about us and I shouldn’t have but I kept pushing to see what she meant and then she said she cared about me but couldn’t be in a relationship with me that we shouldn’t have these problems so early on. And we still love together. And I think she said that out of frustration but idk cause now she hasn’t really talked to me and stay the night at her friends house. Can I get her back what do I do?

    • CoachAdrian

      Yes! it is still possible to win her back but you will have to quickly turn things around because you’ve made quite a few mistakes…
      Reach out to me, book a coaching session in order for us to work together and quickly turn things around.
      I look forward to hear from you.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Hondra Smith

        Well it’s hopeless now she just kicked me out

        • CoachAdrian

          That doesn’t make it hopeless in and of itself… it all depends on how you bounce back and if you can prove to her that you can make her happy!
          Best,
          Adrian

          • Hondra Smith

            She says she still care and she doesn’t want to be the girl that tears me away from my family so that obviously means that she truly loves me enough to suggest to go back to my family because she know how much I miss them and she said how she wants to be alone and doesn’t want to be in a relationship so I’m just guessing that she need sometime by her self and she said that she saw some warning signs the same from her previous relationships like arguing over small thing and we’ve gotten into big arguments and I’ve yelled at her. But she still keeps texting me to see if I’m okay.

          • CoachAdrian

            Those are all very good signs.
            Good luck!

  • Kayla

    Hello, I am 23 and my ex is 27. We have had an on again off again relationship for the first 2 years because we were young and didn’t know if we wanted to settle down just then. And the last 2 years we were settling down and he bought us a house and things of that nature we were getting very serious. He was talking about marrying me and children and then 2 weeks later. He got very distant and thinking over every fight we had in the 4 year span. And then he broke up with me because he didn’t see us working out. He said that as much as he loves me he thinks that if we stay on this path we will both hate eachother in the future. I have to live with him the next month or 2 at least but I would like for us to be a couple again. He says he still loves me and to take my time moving out but he has asked me what my plan is a few times. He is leaving for a week to stay with his mom( she lives in our town)so we can both start to processes we aren’t together. Do u think I have a chance ? We broke up 2 days ago.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Kayla,
      Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story.
      I do think that you have a good chance to turn this around because it seemed that your relationship was pretty stable and that you guys did have somewhat of a common life project together.
      His behavior is something quite common, an attitude that I encounter a lot in men of his age…it’s “the fear of commitment and that this could be it;”
      I want to help, and I think that I can put together a game plan that will help you win him back! It will be centered around reverse psychology, you quickly regaining a sense of independence and actually making him want to win you back.
      If you are serious about doing everything possible to get back together, I encourage you to book a coaching session so that we can start working together right away.
      All my best,
      Adrian

    • Mason2120

      Hey Kayla, I am curious how it is going with you and your situation. My trouble is very similar to yours and I am having a hard time with it. I hope to hear from you soon.

  • ana

    Hello,my name is Ana. Me and my ex broke up officially yesterday and I am having a really tough time. We still live together which is bitter sweet. The break up was her choice on account of my actions. I was really clingy, needy and accused her of cheating when in all actuality she wasn’t. It was my own insecurities that pushed her away. we’ve been here before a few times and i was supposed to change but somehow i still managed to get upset and in my feelings about thoughts that were in my head but not actual reality. Now here i am sad, depressed and just feeling really bad. How do i get my girlfriend back? She is the first woman ( i am also a woman) that i was in a relationship with and I really want her back. She is truly the love of my life. Can you please give me some advise on what to say or do? I need and want this woman in my life for the rest of my life.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ana,
      Book a coaching session and I will help you get your girlfriend back! This is what I do and I’ve helped so many people who were in your exact situation.
      If you are serious about doing everything to get back together a coaching session with me via phone or skype is the best investment you could ever make!
      I hope to hear from you soon to help you meet your goals.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Alexandra

    Hello I have purchased the $79 deal but how do you know to call me?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Alexandra, I get an automatic email to my inbox with your information…will then touch base by email to schedule a time and day that works best for you!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Jessica

    My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago, I’m 23 and he’s 28, we have a house together, and we have two babies together, we’ve been together for 2 years and ever since I started working full time things just went down hill for us and he says he still cares and loves me and when I left for a few days and then came home he said he missed me. We’re living together now but we’re giving each other our own space. Is there any hope for us.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jessica,
      Of course there is still hope and you’ve already started to do the right things by giving him space and enabling him to miss you.
      Having young kids is tough and can put a strain on any relationship…the fact that you are young and both working only adds to the pressure.
      I know that I can help you quickly turn things around because I have helped so many people who were in similar circumstances.
      If you feel like you need support during this tough period please book a coaching session so that can work together to turn this all around.
      Wishing you all the best,
      Adrian

      • Jessica

        How do I book a session with you

  • Mason2120

    Am I a lost cause?
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had a lot of ups and down , more downs in this past year then ups. I found out about two years ago he had a sexual addiction. He never was physical with anyone but would have women from chat lines call him. He got help and started his recovery and I gave him my trust back, well he had a slip up a year ago and I felt so hurt and betrayed. I never fully understood addiction and of course I felt more of a watch dog because I was living in fear. He recently had a lot of tramatic life events. Aunt with terminal cancer, work screwing him over and losing a patient that was near and dear to the community. After all that he looked at me one night and said we need to separate, I love you but can’t marry you. I feel that he is depressed because he isn’t himself even before the break up. He gave me two months to move out but all I want is to tell him I love him everyday. He suffers from depression previously but he is addamit that he isn’t depressed. Is there hope that he will realize I am the one for him?

    • CoachAdrian

      Thanks for sharing your story!
      Trying to get back with an ex who is suffering from depression can be very difficult for the simple reason that you are dealing with forces that outside of your control. On top of that if we were to work together I would recommend to put certain actions in place that would “hurt” your partner in the sense that you wouldn’t be able to be there for him as much as you would like to be.
      The short answer is no you are not a lost cause, and yes you can still make him realize that you are is soulmate. But it will take time and patience, because he will need to realize this on his own terms and go through a process of personal development of his own.
      I would love to help, so if you feel like you need extra support and guidance don’t hesitate to book a coaching session with me!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Carrie

    Hey adrian… i could really use your help!! My ex and i broke up.. but we live together. I have kids he does not. We have been together 2 years and find that we both have very different opinions on many subjects. He drives 4 hours every day for work so our sex life is almost non existing which makes me feel unwanted as a woman. We got in an argument- agreed we should break up and i have been a mess since. I dont want it to be over.. he said his heart tells him to work it out but his head says we cannot.. what can i do?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Carrie,
      I would love to help; the best would be for us to speak over the phone during a one on one coaching session in order for me to provide you with a sound game plan taking into account everything that has transpired in your relationship. The fact that he is saying that his heart is telling him to keep trying is a very very positive sign. Let’s quickly touch base to capitalize on your window of opportunity.
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Nathan Pepo

    Ive been with my girlfriend for six years. We break like six months. We have a 4 year old son together. We still live together we were living with a family member. We had to move she didn’t said i could move with her and are son but she let me. We’ve bee living together in the new place for 2 months now. Now just last week she said she was dating some but were living together and still sleeping in the same bed even tho shes dating someone. I’m so confused by his girl she has said she loves n has feelings for me that she’s still attracted to me but not in love with me. i love this girl with all my heart i want her back. Can you Please help

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nathan, your situation is quite unique and has so many layers to it. I would love to help but I think that it’s best that we talk over the phone…
      Please book a coaching session in order for us to work together and turn this thing around!
      I sincerely hope to hear from you soon.
      Best,
      Adrian

      • Nathan Pepo

        Ok. How do i book a coaching session

  • Lammy Thompson

    Hi, my boyfriend and I moved in together back in march, way too quickly and things fell apart at a very fast pace. My boys and I moved to another state to be closer to the guy I met but turned out he moved in with us. Of course I fell head over heels for this guy but because we didn’t meet his expectations right away things just fell apart. My boys and I are having a hard time adjusting to the move and just felt miserable with certain things to the point where I hid and lied about making dinner one day he was gone and about losing my job. I feared telling him cause of what was already going on between us. I know now it was incredibly stupid of me to do but because of that I poured my heart out about everything that has happened in my life and why it felt like the right thing to do even though it was wrong. He says we are no longer together and will never be and we had a fight one day after the break up where I told him that if he couldn’t respect me that he needed to leave. He said that I wouldn’t have this place if it weren’t for him being on the lease. This fight was almost 3 weeks ago and he is still here. We live in a trailer park but I own the home only my name is on the title and both our names are on the lease for the park. I told him to leave cause he has been holding these lies against me and has called me a shitty parent has also called me a c***. No one has ever called me that ever. But I still can’t help but love him and would do anything to make him love me again. He has said I have no drive or motivation and that I don’t love myself. All he sees is a broken little girl. Since our last fight I’ve been coached by my uncle and he has seen so much of a change in me that I’m becoming more of an adult. I work as a temp during the day, just got a second job for the evening and I applied for fall classes. I take a walk every other day if not every day. I go visit dogs at random shelters once a week to play with the dogs. And trying to get out and make new friends in this strange new town, this is the hardest part. My uncle is so proud of me seeing me becoming more of an adult than I ever was even back home in ohio. I want so much for us to be together again but I can’t help but think of those words he said that we never will be. It hurts everyday me working on myself that I want him to notice and be amazed of how far I’ve come in just a short 3 weeks. I know there is still things I need to improve on. Like how to have an intelligent conversation (he says i cant have one). I have been honest with him on everything since I poured my heart out. He asks me how my day was on occasion. But still acts distant. The one day I left without saying anything, got back home and he asked where the f*** I went. I took a 2 1/2 hour walk this was just this past sunday. But he leaves not telling me where he goes and doesn’t even come back home till the next day and I’m afraid to ask where he was cause Im scared he found someone else and that would kill me. I want so much for him to see this new and exciting woman who is blossoming in front of his eyes and fall in love with me but it feels like he is ignoring it. Are there any other suggestions that could help me win him back even if he said we never will be together again. We havent had an argument in almost 3 weeks now. This kills me seeing him every day not being able to hug and kiss him and tell him that I love him. I miss him calling me honey and texting and calling me. The sweet kisses on the forehead. Please tell me I can win him back. I’ve been working so hard. I know I did some really stupid things just to get his attention also as well as looking desperate, needy clingy ect… by telling him that he was the only one I wanted and that I am fighting for us. But i haven’t said that in a long while and working so hard to be a new and improved woman.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Lammy,
      Your story has various layers of complexity, so I urge you to reach out and for us to speak together during a coaching session. You cannot continue to fear losing him otherwise you will push him away for good.
      I’d love to help so please reach out!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Mari

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years we have 2 kids together and I have 1 from a previous relationship an she has 2 from a previous relationship, we broke and still live together, he cheated on me with his ex cus she won’t let him see the kids so he claims to have done it to see his kids but now he says he lost his love for me cus I criticize his family to much and don’t want them around us, (they are all junkies) I admit I have said very harsh things about his family but I’m willing to try and forgive him and work through this but he says he doesn’t. Idk what to do it’s been a week since we broke up and he doesn’t mind living together

    • CoachAdrian

      Mari thanks for sharing your story.
      Please book a coaching session so that I can provide you with tips and tools to turn this thing around quickly!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Ray

    My husband and I got married after 3 months he was in another 7 year relationship prior. I have 1 son who lives with us and we have a child on the way. He recently told me he feels as though he never got a chance to be single and the desire to mess around with other women is eating away at him. He doesn’t want to be married. He finally agreed to go to relationship counseling but I can’t pretend I’m happy at home while I feel like he is letting me down and our family. I asked him all this before we got married now a year in he is disappointing me. He has also been angry a lot he just seems so frustrated however he has been talking to other women and even physically cheated yet and still he not happy. I try and be nice and not argue but he still hostile. I don’t know what to do to get him back and happy.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ray,
      You got to value yourself more and not let him bully you around emotionally in that way.
      If you don’t respect yourself and set boundaries you will lose him. If you are afraid to speak up, you will lose him. If you are afraid to lose him, you will lose him.
      But if we work together and you regain a sense of confidence and self worth we can turn this whole thing around.
      Book a coaching session and let’s make it happen together.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Ashe

    I need some serious help! My ex and I technically broke up in Dec.of 2015 but still lived together. There was talk of getting back together in February but I was afraid and turned down it down. Recently the roles have reversed and now I want her back. She says that we fight too much and thinks that I can’t change. She says she’s felt this way for months but was afraid that I would not allow her to see the child we have together. Things were said she done out of anger but her position remains the same. I truly want nothing more than to win the love of my life back before it truly is too late. I really need help!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ashe,
      Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. Living with an ex provides you with a unique opportunity to showcase your evolution and to prove to her that you can make her happy (without having to be needy). I’ve actually just completed a video series entitled 20 Golden Nuggets To Get Back With An Ex When You Still Live Together, and I cannot wait to release this in order to help you and thousands of others.
      For now, the best would be for you to book a coaching session with me so that I can provide you with a game plan!
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      Keep fighting the good fight,
      Adrian

  • UC LA

    My ex and I live together. We broke up 13 days ago. I left to upstate NY to wrap my head around what just happened. Quick brief story. I lost my job in November of 2015 and it really hit me hard. I left my previous job for the one I was let go. I have been depressed since then. I would just lay around doing nothing hating myself. I became distant and I wasn’t considerate of feelings nor did I have the drive to do anything. I also feel that my quick temper has a lot to do with it. He says he loves me but can’t be with me. When the breakup happened. I begged and said I’ll do what I need to do to make us happy. He said its to late nothing can make it work. I packed my bags and called my best friend and left. Only contact we have had is splitting finances, which we did. It’s straight to the point on my part and his. Other wise there’s no contact. He knows I left but doesn’t know where. I have to go back because I have other place to live. I know he has started meeting people and who knows what. From what I see on his social media. I’ve gained about 20 lbs in that period of my depression. He just wanted me to be a good partner and be considerate. I have failed him in all aspects of our relationship. I love him and know that I need to work on some personal issues and self esteem. I don’t want to leave because I’m afraid we will lose our deep connection and love even though we are broken up. I know it’s still there. I don’t know what to do honestly. Stay or move out.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      Thanks for sharing your story!
      I am currently coaching 12 people who live with their ex; I have just developed a program on how to get back with an ex if you still live together that will be up on my site in a few weeks.
      Reach out to me, book a coaching session and let me help you turn this around!
      Wishing you the best,
      Adrian

  • billie yates

    Hi Adrian, my wife just told me she wanted a divorce after a 1 yr and half of marriag and 2 years of being together. I could tell something was off, and asked her. She said that she had been battling this for months now and that she wanted out. We live at my grandma’s place to save money and I know she wants out its one of her biggest hates. She also told me she’s not in love with me but she loves me. Recently some of her friends talked to me and I gave them my side of how I was feeling and what I thought went wrong and wrongly asked them for help to save my marriage. After all we have a child together. She can’t move out on her own just yet and I would never kick her out. We’ll after me talking to her friends she is so Everly pissed at me and says she does that even want to be friends with me anymore. I know I love her and in love with her. What can I do to win her back while living with her I can give her space and now she hates me. I know I got desperate and shouldn’t have but how do I get her back now? Billie

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Billie,
      Thanks for sharing your story. Living at your grandmother place is definitely one of the biggest reasons why your marriage fell apart but I’m sure that we could uncover many more… It’s essential to fully understand what went wrong in order to make things right.
      You need to prove to her that you can protect and provide for her and your child and I would love to provide you with a game plan to turn it all around quickly!
      Please book a coaching session in order for us to work together, you won’t regret it.
      Best,
      Adrian

      • billie yates

        When are you available for a session

  • Alexis Hartig

    Id like to book a session with you.

  • CoachAdrian

    It was a pleasure!

  • Brodie Fisher

    Hi there
    I’m 30 and my ex is 29 and we have 1 daughter aged 2. My wife decided enough was enough a few months ago due to falling out of love. She said she fell out of love due to me dropping the ball a few times, such as financially, not having a license at the time and us going through a rough pregnancy, I agree I wasn’t but now I’m on a path to making myself a better person. I live with her atm, well until the lease runs out, I do want to live with her to raise our daughter but she is still undecided. Right from the get go there was a woman in her life that made her self look really desirable to my wife and is giving her what she craved, and she pretty much talked her self up whilst my wife was hurting. She is seeing this woman atm, but my wife is really conflicted as she is not a lesbian and she finds herself in a strange complicated situation. I still want my ex back, but my ex has always said she doesn’t know if she can get that spark back, doesn’t help this other lady being in the picture, pulling at her strings. I want to improve myself to prove to her and myself that I have changed and continue too all my life. How do I prove that I am the one for her, we were married 10 years. I just think she is taking the easy option and not dealing with all the underlying issues and this lady is providing that route.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Brody,
      Thank you for sharing your story and apologies for the delay in getting back to you, I was preparing for a big conference. Based on your willingness to evolve, I do believe that it will be possible to win her back with the proper game plan and guidance. The only way to prove to her that you’ve changed is to truly change! Going through a process of personal development and working together can enable you to win her back through carefully targeted action repeated over time. The fact that you still live together and that you have a child together will provide us with plenty of opportunities to showcase that change. Please book a coaching session with me in order for us to get started right away. I wish you all the best.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Alex silva

    Coach Adrian hi my name is Alex I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years we live together for about a 1 year already we have a 7 month old baby the other day I found out she was cheating on me she kissed another guy and I confronted her about it and she told me she tired of giving me chances and that when she does i always seem to mess it up that she’s not happy with me anymore and that she likes this guy we still live together but she always wants to go out with this guy I pay all the bills she doesn’t work I pay the rent the food the clothes the cell phones I pay everything she tells me she loves me and she will always love me and I love her still and I want to get her back can you please help me thank you

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Alex,
      Sorry it took over a week to get back to you, I am hosting a conference in Paris and it took a lot of time and preparation. I don’t know how things have evolved since but it shouldn’t be too difficult to win her back. The fact that you pay for everything means that she still depends on you in many ways, and having a child together means that you are tied together for life. You’ll have your opportunity to prove to her that she can exist and be happy with you as long as you take the right steps moving forward. I would love to help so don’t hesitate to book a coaching session with me so that we can start working together.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

      • Alex silva

        Hey Adrian the other day we had some crazy makeup sex and it was the best but she still doesn’t want to get back together and where can I go to book a session?

  • Precious Cauley

    Hey I’ve Been With My Ex For Two Months But We Knew Each other Since Middle School Now We Live Together But We Broke Up a month ago and he really love my son after we broke up I was talking to somebody else but he found out and he said he will never be with me again even if it came to the point of us trying it will never be so he had a ex he was in love with now he watches her snap chats and text her he said it was a casual talk but I feel like it was more than that I’m really in love with him I been in love with him since middle school idk how to get him back can you please help me I’m begging I want this to work please

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Precious,
      Apologies it took some time to get back to you, I’ve been in France preparing for a conference. It can be possible to get him back if you focus on the right goals. This man clearly loves you; it’s not a question of love and emotion but one of trust and happiness.
      I urge you to book a coaching session in order for us to regain his trust.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Becky Yoder

    Hi. My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago and we’ve been together 6 years. (With no clear reason why) just I’ve been thinking about this for almost a year, we have different habits, different interests, we’re going down different paths, and I want to be by myself and that I didn’t do anything wrong. Since then, he ignores me looks at me like I’m a stranger, shows no emotions like a zombie knowing I’m in terrible pain. Why would he do or say theses things?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Becky,
      I feel your pain and understand how devastating this can be. I need to have more information in order to pinpoint what went wrong, but I can already tell you that his attitude is something that I see very often. The worst thing that you can do at this point is to beg or plea. He is solely focused on the pro’s of being single and fails to see at this stage all that you brought to the table. You will need to distance yourself, regain a sense of independence and well being, and rebuild your self confidence in order to once again become a challenge for him. I believe that I can help you win him back. Please book a coaching session so that we can start to work together and turn this around.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Cleo

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 years. We have a child together. We’ve been living together for 8 year. He broke up with me 3 months ago, but we’re still living together because he didn’t want to left me with a mortgage by myself. He broke up with me according to him I wasn’t respecting his decisions in the relationship, i wasn’t giving him the chance to be the man in the house and over time his feelings started changing. He use to talk to me about these things, but I really wasn’t taking his feelings into consideration. So now he’s saying his feelings change and hes planning on moving out as soon as we figure things out. I tried to tell him these are thing I could change, let’s give it another try. At first he was cold about everything, he was ignoring me, wasn’t texting or calling when he’s out, but all of a sudden he changed. Hes texting me everyday, we don’t talk romantically, but like how is your day or he would put my plate away when I eat, call me on his way home asking me what i want to eat? bring me desert and still using the word we sometimes. He’s is good father to his child, and a good boyfriend. He hates to discuss what happened in the relationship, because he said he can see how much it hurts me. I want our relationship back he knows that, but I don’t know if he feels the same. I think he’s just being nice maybe he feels guilty for hurting me. I don’t know! My problem is I just won’t leaving him alone, I won’t give him his space. I bring it up all the time, and I don’t know if I’m pushing him further away. I still wash his clothes, I still treat him as if we’re still together because I following my true feelings. I’m not the type of woman to get in his face or pack his clothes and through him out, because I don’t feel that way. We haven’t been sleeping together, I tried dressing sexy and everything, but he doesn’t try anything. He would text me from work and tell me how sexy I looked, but that’s about it. I feel like he’s still going to leave and just the thought of him leaving us hurts like hell. There’s is no doubt in my mind he’ll be there for our child, I just want us to really work things out. I think there’s still something there. Please tell me what to do

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Cleo,
      I urge you to book a coaching session with me ASAP. You are making a lot of mistakes and risk pushing him away for good. You are putting him on a pedestal and devaluing yourself at the same time. You shouldn’t continue to pamper him and you need to stop begging him to change his mind otherwise you will lose him forever. You need to quickly gain a sense of emotional independence in order to once again become a challenge; and I can help you with that if we work together. I hope that you will book a coaching session soon!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Melanique

    Hello me and my boyfriend broke up about a few days ago almost a week yet we both still live in the same house I just moved into the guess room since he pays most of the bills in the house I nagged at him to get his attention because that’s the only time I felt like I had I didn’t see that I had it the whole time and I nagged and nagged till he finally said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship any more its hard because we live together he says he doesn’t think we can fix it but in my heart I feel we can is he just still mad or what like what should I do should I let go I don’t want to lose him

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Melanique,
      I also truly believe that it is possible to win him back and the fact that you still live together provides us with a unique opportunity to rekindle quickly. I urge you to book a private coaching session in order for us to work together and to turn things around. Either way, know that you can’t afford to be too needy or insecure otherwise you risk losing him forever.
      Hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Anon

    Hi, my fiance broke up with me in the beginning of this year. We went through some hard emotional times and I got depressed. Basically I neglected the relationship. He never said anything was wrong but one day just said he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. Turns out he had gotten close (even intimate) with a female coworker while turning to her for advice. He says he has feelings for her and sees a future with her, but still wants to be friends with me. There was a period of time after the breakup that we continued intimacy, but he says it was meaningless, that he didn’t feel anything during those times. He said that he thinks he continued to pursue the intimacy with me to confirm he has no feelings for me anymore. We have been living together and get along great, but the lease is coming up soon. I wish I would’ve seen this site sooner, because I feel like it may be too late… I’ve pretty much made every possible mistake since the breakup to try and get a second chance…. Is there still hope?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Anon, you are in tough situation but I’ve helped people in more dire circumstances turn it around. Please contact me in private and book a coaching session in order for us to dig deeper into what you are facing at the moment and find the appropriate solutions.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Stephanie

    Hello, I’m 24 and my bf is 23. We’ve been together 2 years and 7 months and currently still stay together. It’s a one bedroom house so we still lay in the same bed as well. No physically contact, no eye contact etc etc. Maybe words here and there but their brief. The reason he broke it off he stated, “I don’t communicate with him, I only think about myself” it’s more brut I’m trying to make this short as possible. Everything went south when I purchased a car without him there. He got over it but deep down I know it still bothers him. We have two cars and we switch on certain days. I took the new car on one of his days to go out with my gf’s because it’s usually hot in our old car for me (may need to check out the a/c) he was disappointed about that being it was his day and that I already got the car w/o him. Anyhow, he said he doesn’t know if his heart can take this anymore. He said the little things I do matters to him and that matters the most. He said he though I would change but I’m not. He didn’t change his relationship status on fb, I though he was being how he came to me about us I thought he would’ve wanted me to believe that he’s serious, which I believe he is from how he acts when we’re home together but I honestly don’t know what to do about this. I still have hope for us being it’s something small but a big problem on my behave. He’s the best thing to come in my life and I’m taking him for granted and he really is supportive through everything. Any advice.??

  • Stephanie

    Hello, I’m 24 and my bf is 23. We’ve been together 2 years and 7 months and currently still stay together. It’s a one bedroom house so we still lay in the same bed as well. No physically contact, no eye contact etc etc. Maybe words here and there but their brief. The reason he broke it off he stated, “I don’t communicate with him, I only think about myself” it’s more brut I’m trying to make this short as possible. Everything went south when I purchased a car without him there. He got over it but deep down I know it still bothers him. We have two cars and we switch on certain days. I took the new car on one of his days to go out with my gf’s because it’s usually hot in our old car for me (may need to check out the a/c) he was disappointed about that being it was his day and that I already got the car w/o him. Anyhow, he said he doesn’t know if his heart can take this anymore. He said the little things I do matters to him and that matters the most. He said he though I would change but I’m not. He didn’t change his relationship status on fb, I though he was being how he came to me about us I thought he would’ve wanted me to believe that he’s serious, which I believe he is from how he acts when we’re home together but I honestly don’t know what to do about this. I still have hope for us being it’s something small but a big problem on my behave. He’s the best thing to come in my life and I’m taking him for granted and he really is supportive through everything. I know he needs space and time to mode this situation. Any advice.??

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Stephanie,
      Thanks for sharing your story. I believe that it is possible to turn things around quickly if you are able to go through a personal transformation and prove to him that you can make him happy. The fact that you are still living together is a blessing, because it will enable you to quickly showcase your evolution.
      I believe that I can help you get back with him quickly if you are able to open up to him in the right way. Please book a coaching session in order for us to work together and get your relationship back on track.
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • HELL

    so about a week ago my ex sat me down and told me he loved me so much and cares about me so much that he didn’t want to lose me as a friend so he decided to date me we been together last 6 month but he has a lot of problems recovering heroin addict, depressed and all that stff that goes with well he relapsed back in june went back to detox and he was just miserable was trying to not take subs well I talked him into going back to sparc so he did start subs well found out he was abusing them by sniffing them…. last Monday he sat me down told me it was too stressful to have a relationship and be in recovery he is an over thinker, and always says one thing and doesn’t do it we both have tried ending it before we even got to the point where we moved into together well right now because I have court issues and stuff like that I cant just move out and truthfully he doesn’t want me to either but he has been seeing and talking to other girls and I just flip I try not to but I do im trying so hard to win him back honestly he said the problem is is sexual and emotional chemistry which I agree he has sex issues( wants to treat me like a whore but cant do that to me because he says he loves me too much) we aren’t each other types but our love is real and our care is real im 27 and he is 28 and sometimes I feel like packing up and going to my moms and sometimes I cant imagine sitting at my parents house wondering what he is doing its like im trying so hard to change me and better me and lately I have been not taking care of myself break out from stress honestly lost 20 pounds im skin and bones and I know that bothered him so im back a the gym eating as much caloires as I can and tanning and honestly I just told him I was going out to lunch with a guy I met at the gym since he wanted to add his ex on instagram I know childish I get it but its like stabs and I react I try holding it all in I really do but I just cant when it comes to that idk what else to do he has been so bad and forth with me like has done this before and got back together but never involved other girls so idk maybe that’s why it was easier for him because he met this one girl who is in recovery also and understands him better because she relapsed herself but hasn’t seen since relapse well that what he says we are still currently sleeping in same bed probably should stop that idk what the hell to do please help me!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey!
      Thanks for sharing your story. Many different layers need to be addressed and the best would be for us to do a private coaching session in order for me to help you stabilize your relationship.
      I truly want to help and sincerely believe that I can help you turn it all around so please don’t hesitate to reach out quickly so we can start working together ASAP.
      I wish you all the very best!
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Harriet Ijoma

    Hi,
    I and my gf have been together for 10 months(we also live together), out of which we have broken up about 4 times via text and then gotten back together. Our communication skills suck and we have too many emotional bagages that we can’t deal with on our own. Two days ago we broke up again via text. We love each other and I want us to try counselling as a last resort. Should I suggest this to her or just let the break up hold this time around. What should I do?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Harriet,
      If you love this person and feel like they could be the one, you owe it to yourself to exhaust every possible avenue to make it work. I have coached couple’s before and would love to help you as well. But perhaps it would be good for us to do an individual session first in order for me to provide you with some tools to improve communication and to build a new and improved relationship that can be sustainable over time.
      Hope to hear from your soon so that we can work together.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Sarah

    Hi,
    My bf and I just broke up. We have been dating for 2 years. 1 year long distance ( he was in another country) and when he got back home I immediately got pregnant. We moved in together 5mth the ago and our baby is 4mths. The reason why we broke up is because according to him I don’t communicate, I’m so cold. He now says he never had feelings for me. That I didn’t give him the opportunity to love me. I moved out and was doing minimal contact and he asked if I wanted to talk one day. I decided to move back due to issues where I was staying but now I don’t know what to do next. Please help.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Sarah,
      Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, please tell me how things have evolved in order for me to advise you appropriately…
      I want to help you stabilize your relationship!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Sarah

    I should add we broke up last year due to the same issue and a 2 months later found out I was pregnant. We moved in together to try to make it work.

  • Marlee

    I am 20 years old and my now ex girlfriend is 19 almost 20. We dated previously in high school and went out separate ways but came back together in December of last year. She moved in with me and I was heartbroken from a previous relationship at the time, so we agreed to take things slow. Talks of marriage and moving away on our own soon began. We moved out to Ohio at the beginning of this month and things got really tense, one large argument erupted and we broke up. We’re still living together with her grandparents until we get the money to get an apartment of our own with our roommate, in the beginning she said that after we got our own place that we would try to work on us again. As of yesterday, she tells me that she’s becoming less attracted to the idea of being in a relationship with me again, but still wants to move out together and remain close to eachother. We still have regular intimate nights and are still sleeping in the same bed. Is there anything I can do to open her up to getting in a relationship with me again?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Marlee, I can help you win her back.
      Please book a coaching session in order for us to work together to stabilize your relationship.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Ray

    Hi Adrian
    My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and half. Things were great up til about 3 months ago she had been seen with another guy in my car. And me and her had a deep talk about that. Now we seem to argue every other day and she has told me her feelings for me has changed, that she still loves me. Here just a few days ago my friend and her went to his uncle house and she flirted and sat in his uncles lap. And did a another flirty action. The thing is she doesn’t show me hardly any affection we don’t have sex anymore. But she still here I wanna to bring up the uncle situation because she doesn’t even do things like that for me. I wanna be with her but I don’t know if I should break up with her and still live under the same roof. Which I know is possible. She has been dealing with a lot of stress in the past few months but idk if that’s what caused her not to want to be loved by me or if she lied to me about not wanting to have sex or wanting affection because of everything she’s going through. What should I do?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Ray,
      Be careful you run the risk of being so needy that you will push her away. I need to help you be more assertive and show her that you can also go out and have fun without her in order to become a challenge again in her eyes.
      Let’s work together to shift the way she feels about you; book a coaching session when you are ready to get started.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • danielDan Daniel

    hi im daniel im 33 . we broke up since 02/02/16 and we still living together . we lived together for 5 years we got marred . now she got boyfriend who comes to pick her up every morning to go to work and im reaIly feeling dawn each day she wake up in morning i see her everyday when she goes out but she never know i see her she is going insaid car to go with someone else .she told me we can be friend but never as couple again because i got someone in my life she say to me that i hurt her lot and she cant be with me anymore , but i still love her like crazy and i don’t know what to do .i want her back really she is the one with who i feel good . i try to go to meet some girls but is just im thinking to much about her and is killing me insaid . i want her im telling her all the time let as go holiday or do something together but she just don’t want nothing . can you advice me what should i do to get her back because really Im desparet for her i want have family with her . but we didn’t have sex more then year now !!! she just don’t want .help please thank you.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Daniel,
      I can help you but you are in a very complicated situation.
      Book a coaching session in order for us to speak via phone or skype.
      It will take some time but you can win her back.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Lisa Nedberg

    My boyfriend and I broke up. I feel like I have had nightmares about this happening, but now I am living it. I moved across the country with him a little shy of living with him for a year back home. I would I just don’t think it’s appropriate to talk to new females when things aren’t going as planned. It seems shady. He can talk to whomever he wants but I mean it just doesn’t look the best for him. I never would have committed to the move had I not had the confidence in our relationship. I know we have had our fair share of fights but I truly felt we were unstoppable. One of the main reason we would fight it because I couldn’t get over the idea that there may be someone else. Even though he is home every night and wants to spend time with me, I just couldn’t shake the idea of him texting other girls. So trust was a big downfall. Then we stopped having sex. And I brought it up a lot. He felt it was being naggy. Really it was just a bunch of negative feelings spiraling downward. We had our final blowout where I told him I was moving home and he needed to leave. Ever since then we have been broken up. He said he is tired of the back and forth. He thinks we have a clash of personalities. And to make matters worse he is opening talking to girls. Currently we are taking space to find out if this is worth getting back together for. I have had so much time to think about it. I realized a lot of where I went wrong. I regret saying what I said. I love this guy so dearly and haven’t even realized my true feelings for him until this eye opening situation occurred. I know in my heart I can change in ways that will help us grow together. But he doesn’t think things will change. However, he says he isn’t leaning toward either side as far as getting back together or not. He said it is going to be a thought out process because he wants to be sure 100% this is the commitment he wants. I respect that. I have been thinking the same for myself. But I know he is who I see myself with for the long haul. We just have to get past the immature behaviors. It’s pretty much a waiting game at this point. I told him he needed to know in a week because I cannot live with him if we are broken up and I need to make the next move. Currently I am just trying to distract myself and do things in the evening to allow for space. Please help me win him back!

    • duane

      you have to look after yourself first and foremost. look good and dress good. become sexy again. go without underwear it it helps. then talk to him from a happy sexy confident place. if he gave you no reason to believe he cheating then the problem was with you and your past or parents or something. get sexy cos iif its not happening in the bedroom then its not happening anywhere

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Lisa,
      I can help you win him back, book a coaching session with me in order for us to start working together quickly to turn things around.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Amira Shaunice

    My girlfriend and I decided to take a break because of the constant arguing. The break was so we can individually work on ourselves and decide if a relationship is what we want. She had sex with someone else and told me she no longer knows if she wants to be with me and that she’s on the fence. I am not dating or sleeping with anyone i have no desire to. Should I attempt to work things out with her? Or was her cheating a confirmation of our end?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Amira,
      The act of sleeping with someone else doesn’t have to define your relationship; you have the choice to control how things will unfold based on your actions, mindset and outlook. I can help you win her back if you are motivated and patient.
      Book a coaching session if you want us to work together.
      From my heart to yours,
      Adrian

  • Nayeli

    Hello. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. Things had been very rocky lately. We were both lacking communication, and connection with each other. We preactically still live together, we have a 2 year old daughter. In the last argument we had he broke up with me and he said he is done. That he can not do this anymore. This time he seems to be set on his decision. I’ve tried talking to him, acknowledging my mistakes and tried telling him we can give it one last try. He turns me down every time. I feel confused, as I mentioned we still live together, we hang out together, we are even still physically involved with each other. Yet he still says that he is single. He’s been going out with friends and doing stuff we wouldn’t really do. He stated in a text message, ” I finally have friends now, it’s awesome.” I don’t know what to do. I care for him, I care for my daughter. But he seems to be worried about going out, having friends rather than working things out between us. Please help me.

  • Re

    I said some really hurtful things to my boyfriend of almost 3 year in front of my daughter. I told him I was going to find her a new step daddy and that I have hatred for him. First couple days he still wanted to be with me and I was the one being standoffish bc I felt he put her last after his kids. Now I am regretful and he is the one saying he is done and he can’t get over it. Help.. we live together and I do not want this to end

    • CoachAdrian

      We can still turn things around. The fact that you are still living together is a plus!
      Book a coaching session in order for us to get started right away.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Ron

    My girl and I were together for almost two years, we argued quite a bit at the end and she had a huge loss in the family. She came back to town from taking care of family stuff and was really mean with me and broke up… We slept in different beds for a week and I slept in her bed eventually while she wasnt home. She asked what I was doing there but told me to stay. Like its whatever. We ended up having sex that night and she asked to have sex a few nights later… Ive slept in the same bed ever since for 3 weeks now… She asked me a week after our last time having sex, if we could cuddle. Now I feel like shes gone back a little and says she is moving to another state where her parents lives… They both died in a bike accident together recently. Our lease is up in october and I have until then to change her mind I feel.

    • CoachAdrian

      Ron, time is ticking indeed…lets work together to turn it all around quickly.
      Book a coaching session in order for us to work together.
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • CoachAdrian

    Hello Nayeli,
    What you are going through is quite common, book a coaching session in order for me to help you turn things around.
    Best,
    Adrian

  • Diiogo

    Hello, so me and my girl broke up about 7 months ago but we still
    Live together. At frist everything was ok ,I even think she still liked me till about 2 months ago when I stared to have feelings for her again ( actually my feelings never went away just took a break) so about a month or so I told her that I wanted to get back together and she said no. It broke me.. I became needy and insecure so I told her I needed some time apart and she was not happy that I was leaving but I left. I told her I was gonna be gone for a month she was still not happy. I been gone for 10 days now. We still talk and sometimes see each other because we have dogs together. The frist week I was gone she was texting me and sounding sad but now is like she doesn’t give a shit. I still have 3 weeks to go till I go back. What should I do when I go back?!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey, reach out to me and book a coaching session before you go back in order for me to help you prep in the best possible way. You can still turn this around!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Kelsey

    Me and my girlfriend of 3 years just broke up last week & I really have no where to go, she is super nice about me living at the house. It’s just I’m still wanting to be with her, she kind of broke it off with me because things were rocky and she didn’t think it could change because of all the failed tries. But now that I lost her I’ve never wanted to change and make things better more. I don’t know how to move on with this, I can’t stand to see her and not be with her. I still love her so much and it kills me inside everyday that I have to see her and can’t kiss her or hold her or anything. I want my relationship back but I know I can’t force anything. I just want some advice on how to go about it. I want her back so bad I’m to the point of depression it’s so bad.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Kelsey,
      Reach out to me in order for us to work together! I can help you snap out of emotional dependency in order to become the person that she first fell for…
      Hope to hear from you soon,
      Adrian

  • Kim

    Me and my boyfriend of 5 1/2 year and 2 kids together broke up about 2 weeks ago. I found out he was cheating on me the last 2 months. He says he’s fed up with me nagging and putting him down and and don’t see us working anything out anymore. He says he wants to be alone but he’s seeing someone else at the moment ( I don’t understand that at all ). I want him back so bad. Even though we are still living together I tried doing the No Contact rule, but thats impossible to do. I’m afraid he’s falling for the new girl. He doesn’t reach out to me unless it’s about our kids. It’s killing me inside. I need to know how i can get him back in my life without the negativity. I know I have to change my ways, but it’s like I don’t know anything anymore since all of this. I need help.

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Kim,
      Please book a coaching session with me so that I can help you win him back quickly. We will need to pinpoint together exactly what went wrong and start putting targeted actions in place right away to shift the way that he sees you. The fact that you have kids together will enable you to have a longer window of opportunity but time is obviously of the essence!
      Best,
      Adrian

  • This girl

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and living together for 2 years
    He broke up with me Saturday because with I argue with him i talk bad, down talk him, holla, or the cops show up. He said he my good shows at times but lately it hasn’t. He also said he can be with a person who mouth is bad and after that I didn’t say nothing else. Is it me or does he wanna see if I’m willing to change somethings? I ask for a hug and he said yes and he gave me one I didn’t hug him that long but he hug me a little longer than I did. Why was that?

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      I’m not entirely too sure I understand what exactly happened; perhaps the best would be for you to book a coaching session and to reach out, in order for me to provide you with some guidance over the phone.
      Sincerely,
      Adrian

  • Shawn

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we just moved into our second apartment together with his guy bestfriend. I have been having a lot of trust issues with him, going through his phone, going through his pocket etc. He broke up with me like two weeks ago and we have been arguing ever since. I don’t know how to get him back .. he also said I don’t cook enough or workout enough

  • Mj

    My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. We met in high school. I was 2 years older and I left for college while we were about a year into our relationship. I was many states away and I unfortunately kissed another girl while we were together. We ended up breaking up while I was at college and didn’t get back together for another 2 years.

    A year ago I ran into her unexpectedly at a different college we both ended up transferring into. I asked her to go on a date to wit she said yes and we talked before she asked if I still loved her. I replied yes I love you and I told her that I wanted to get back together. She asked if I had ever cheated on her while I was away at college and I lied and told her that I didn’t. We dated for the past year, and curently live together but last night she went through my Facebook 4 years back to findout that I was talking to other girls and that I kissed one while we were dating many years ago.

    She broke up with me, it was the worst breakup I have ever experienced. She told me she wished I’d die and burn in hell. She said she wish she never met me she said she hates every fiber of my being. She claimed she would never get back together with me ever no matter what. She deleted all of the photos of us on her phone she told me I was the worst person in the world. She also hit me a few times, which I allowed but I found incredibly unacceptable. Balling, she exclaimed that she thought we were going to get married. She told me that I ruined everything and that she truly despises me.
    I pleaded and pleaded trying to get through to her that I am a different person than when I was 18. I tried to show her the truth, which is I was completely devoted and faithfull since we got back together. I truly love her and want to marry her.
    She doesn’t believe a single word I say. She claims that if I had it my way I’d be with other girls in Tampa. She claims all of the things I’ve done for her, the list is beyond vast, I would’ve done for any girl. This is so false it is not even funny. She has turned the corner today, being amicable and asking to spend small amounts of time together but I am almost positive she will never forgive me. I find myself wondering how someone could say they love me and make promises to be together forever yet a kiss from 4 years ago can put them to the point of nearly breaking my nose… I’m ashamed that I lied but how can she be so willing to throw everything away over something that happened years ago while she claimed to be the happiest shes ever been on a daily basis prior to snooping through old messages.

    • CoachAdrian

      Mj, it’s not too late…reach out to me and book a session in order for us to turn things around.
      Best,
      Adrian

  • Kira

    Hello there… My boyfriend of 10 years just broke up with me tonight, but wants to stay living here. He told me he is not in love with me the way he once was, but he wants to make sure we stay friends for the kids sake… We both have daughters from previous relationships and we have a daughter together that just started school last week…. He currently just got a job and was hired full time and will be recovering benefits in November… And last night there was a sexual time that was very once sided as I am being visited by aunt flow… Sorry lol… And he tells me today that was a way to see if anything was there, even tho it was very one sided. I am very confused because all weekend was great we celebrated his daughters birthday and took all kids out both days to enjoy the time together.. Everything seemed fine. Even this morning was great we went out and helped a friend and we came back I made his lunch and he went to work… Only hours passing then him texting me to tell me he wasn’t happy and that he didn’t love me the way he used to. But doesn’t really tell me any reasons,other then he doesn’t like to be pressured to do things he doesn’t want to… (Example; we owe my mother money and she asked for him to finish her basement) and he also denies the fact of there being another woman… He is not willing to seek outside help to discuss anything as well. And just says I Donno when asked if he is willing to talk to me about things…. According to him he hasn’t been happy in love for 2 months but has never brought anything to my attention so we can discuss and figure out what needed to be done. Let me add that we have broke up twice in the past, once for him getting wasted at a staff party and almost costing me my job… And anothe time cause he thought that I was going to leave him for someone else that had feelings for me. ( which I didn’t leave him for the other guy, but when we lived together for those 2 weeks that we were separated and I was hanging out with the other guy he wanted me back) …. Which we did get back together…. Those two break ups happened years before we thought about having our daughter.

    Please help me, I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I have currently moved all my bedding to another room so I am. To sleeping beside him tonight… I can not stand to be next to him if I can’t love and hold him like I always do. My chest feels like it’s caving in and I already suffer from anxiety and depression. How will I Cope doing this again? How do I cope seeing him every day and trying to hide it from the kids? I’m a strong woman, but I do. To think that I will be able to withstand this… Please any advice would be so great…

    Thanks

    KL

    • CoachAdrian

      Hello Kira,
      You are facing a situation that is somewhat complex and we would need to discuss over the phone in order for me to provide you with a sound game plan. Please book a session in order for me to help you win him back permanently.
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • Broken hearted

    Hello. My fiance and father of my children as asked for a separation after 12yrs of being together. He left the house for 3 days and came home last night. He said he loves me but he wants to come home and start to fix things, but he wants to start with his children. I feel that the problem was not with him and the kids it was with him and I, and if he wants to come home then he should want to work on us. Please I need help..

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey,
      It’s a good sign that he is coming home and at least willing to work on things. He positioned it in this way probably because of ego, but the fact is that he isn’t ready to walk away yet!!!
      Let’s work together to turn things around for good, book a coaching session with me.
      Regards,
      Adrian

      • Broken hearted

        How much is the session going to cost I don’t have much money I am taking care of 5 kids and I only work part-time I was really searching out for help from someone who can help me free of charge and I know what you do takes a lot of time and effort and I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me

        • CoachAdrian

          Send me a message through the contact us tab and we can discuss ways forward!

  • CoachAdrian

    Hey Shawn, no point in arguing with him…you will only push him further away.
    Let’s speak on the phone in order for me to provide you with a plan to win him back for good.
    Regards,
    Adrian

  • Jaque

    Hey Adrian,
    I’m at a loss and need some advice. My fiance of 6 years broke up with me yesterday. It is hard as we have a child together and he has stated he wants to stay until the lease ends next summer. Our relationship was rocky two years ago. He had an affair and we chose to work through that. However, I was never able to truly forgive him and have been harboring ill feelings since then. I have been working on myself and have been finding ways to forgive him as well as learn to trust. However I had a relapse Friday and questioned everything he said in regards to a number he’s been texting. He says he’s reached his breaking point and is done. He says he’s fallen out of love and feels we have been roommates for the past few months (from our actions) more than a couple. Is it too late for our relationship? Should I accept what he says and let it be done?

    Thanks,
    Jaq

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jaque,
      I want to be able to chat and understand the inner workings of your relationship in order to provide you with a game plan to address the deep rooted issues.
      Please book a phone coaching session in order for us to work together.
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • Jerry

    Bare with me this is a long story, I’m 26 my girlfriend of 2 and a half years is 22 and we broke up 2 months ago because she cheated on me. Before she cheated on me she gave me a hall pass to go out and have sex with another girl. Thoughout our relationship she would tell me that she wanted me to have sex with other girls she said it turned her on! And it did! Believe me! We would even go to strip clubs together and get lapdances together! Anyways I finally took her up on her offer and went out with another girl however we did not have sex just kissed. After I did that things were still fine, we were still together and having sex regularly however she did tell me to stop talking to this other girl. A few weeks went by and I contacted the other girl and I told my girlfriend about it and she got mad and cheated on me a few days later with her ex. Fast forward to now we are still living together, and we are not having sex. I love my ex and I want to get her back but she doesn’t want to get back together. I told her that I don’t want us to date other people of were living together I told her that we need to respect the fact that we live together. I also told her if she starts dating someone she needs to move out. I’ve been working on bettering myself being more affectionate and showing her how special she is to me every chance I get. I would really appreciate you’re advice to help me get her back. By the way I am not taking to that other girl anymore and I am not dating any other girls. I only want to be with her and she knows that. And I’m showing her that with my actions. Please help!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Jerry,
      This is a unique story indeed, but I think that you’ve handled things well overall.
      If you need more reassurance and a solid game plan to speed the recovery process up book a coaching session with me so that we can work together.
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • Nel

    Hi,
    I am 26 years old and I’m living with my ex whose 27. Tonight he told me (again) that he no longer wants to be with me. He told me a few days ago that he wanted me to move out and that he’s only staying for the apartment because it’s close to the gym and we love it. I can’t afford to leave- nor do I want to.

    To summarize- we have been together for 1.5 years and have lived together for 6 months. He’s broken up with me previously for the same reasons as he has now. Says that he has to manage my emotions, that I’m a full time job, that I don’t listen to him, that I play mind games to get emotional reactions out of him. He said that he has wasted 1.5 years with me and that although he loves me, that he does not want me anymore.
    I’ve been going to a psychologist and have been working on my emotional dependency and impulsive reactions based on my emotions, but he told me tonight that he doesn’t want someone whose sorting their shit- he wants someone that’s already sorted.

    He’s right- I have depended on him for y own emotional stability.
    He had agreed to stay official with me until the end of my uni placement (social work), so I don’t freak out and fail but tonight he took all of that away.
    He also told me that he’s severing all emotional ties with me so that means he can date if he wants to.

    He told me he’s not doing this to hurt me, but because he needs to do it for himself- said that he’s sick of basing his decisions on my needs, that he’s sick of being under someone else’s thumb.

    Throughout the relationship he has warned me to treat him better- ie stop depending on him to make me feel better but I didn’t listen. If he didn’t fulfill my emotional needs, I would lie to get a reaction out of him that validated me. Partly because he would say things like ‘I’m no longer invested in you, I want someone better’ etc.

    This all sounds so negative, and he would agree- he said he hasn’t got a good solid time period to look back on that was positive. He said I manipulated him to stay and to move in together. I didn’t. I just love him!

    I love this man. I know I have fucked up. I know that I have changes I need to do. I am doing them. But has told me that he no longer wants a relationship. But that if I hadn’t of ruined it, that we would be building our lives together and planning holidays together right now. Hearing him tell me that hurts so much.

    He told me that if there is ever a chance for us, it will be years from now. 🙁

    We have had great times. During the period when he said he would fake our relationship so I could finish my studies, we had an amazing week. I was attentive, kind, generous and he went from being stone cold to so affectionate and loving. We had such a good week . Then he came home from work one night and told me not to touch him. The next day he told me he felt too guilty faking the union and that it’s over.

    Please please help me. I want him back. I love him dearly. He’s a good man and I have to try.
    Thanks xx

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey Nel,
      I want to help you win him back, book a phone coaching session in order for us to work together.
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • HitWithTheHein

    This is exactly what I needed to find and read today. I have been behaving nearly exactly the way you have described and after a week of “avoiding” her and just focusing on myself and work, I can already see a difference in her behavior. She left work early to run into me at home, after mentioning to her friend when I’d be home, she asked 1,001 questions about what I’ve done the past few days, who I’ve been with, how I’m doing….I smiled and gave short answers. I listened to and laughed about her work week, not inquiring on what she’s done whatsoever. As I prepared to leave for the evening I was cordial and could tell she didn’t want me to leave, and asked who I was going out with.

    I am in no way delusional enough to think anymore that a resolution will come soon. This may take weeks to achieve, months even. By that time, either of us might move on, and *gasp* maybe be okay with that. At the end of the day, if you care enough and can inject some ice into your veins, the focus is YOU and not “US” because once she recognizes that YOU are capable of being a man and taking care of your business, she will want to be apart of that again.

    The sad reality of my situation is that I know she is considering getting a new roommate, and as much as that might hurt me or complicate my situation, it might be a necessary part of the process and I have to accept that if and/or when it happens. We have communicated and agreed to try to resume being roommates again, but I am nonetheless prepared for her to change her mind.

    Always make them wonder. Good luck guys.

  • T. SMITH

    I’m 24 and me an my ex girlfriend live together with 2 kids. She is going out an kinda gloating about it and the past couple of times I have not taken it well, and she also is encouraged me to go out also. I want her back an aimlessly telling her this but it doesn’t help. She claims that she wants space an to live life while she is still young, but can’t do it with me. How do I do this? Should I move out? She also kept me an the kids afloat when I was out of a job, and I don’t want to leave her stranded with no car to do anything but it hurts when she goes on dates, and having sex with this guy. Help me please!

    • CoachAdrian

      Hey, thanks for reaching out.
      I can help you inspire her again, but you’ll have to be extremely strong and control your emotions. My biggest concern at the moment is that you let your insecurities get the bet of you and put her on a pedestal…that would make things a lot more difficult moving forward. Book a coaching session ASAP in order for us to win her back!
      Regards,
      Adrian

  • Brittany

    So much to say n ask.
    My ex boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago we still live together sleep together have sex together and go out every now and again together. But we are not dating….we do everything a couple dating does but we aren’t one our selfs. And this is putting more pain on me. I know he loves me and he cares about me or one of us would have been forced to leave. Am I gonna get him back or am I waisting my time?

  • Darl

    I’m 22 years old so if my ex boyfriend. We decided to take a break from our relationship about 9 days ago however I caught him talking to other girls and flirting with them when he told me that he’s not interested in seeing anyone. So I confronted him 3 days ago and told him what he did was hurtful, selfish and disrespectful. He said he knew that, he’s really sorry, regrets doing it and agreed that it was disrespectful and selfish. However, he thinks from what he did there is no changing that and that he best outcome for us just flew out window. He also told me that because of what happened he doesn’t think a reconciliation in the future is possible, that we will stay friends but anything more than that is not possible anymore and that hurt me a lot cos I’m still hoping that one day we will find our way back to eachother. We’re still living together and sometimes it’s awkward and it frustrates me because I know he’s talking to other girls and flirting with them. I told him that I’ll be moving out soon and he asked where am I going and that it will be easier if I stay and he move out cos he have more options. We’re being civil with each other at the moment, watching tv together and talking about how our day has been and how busy our week is going to be. I’m just not sure what’s happening with us right now. I don’t know if it’s good that we’re still living together or not. All in all I am so confused. Could you please help me with my dilemma.

  • Stefania Stockley

    I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 23. I moved in around August of this year. Our biggest problem is when I drink I say hurtful things to him. He said it reminded him of his dad growing up. He then shut down and stopped remotely showing affection. Now we are still living together. I think we both wish we could go back to the beginning. We are both confused. I want him so badly but have no idea how to get him to let his guard down

  • Unknown

    Hello me and my boyfriend broke up 2 days ago because i gave another guy a church side hug in front of him. We have been together for 2 years and have be living together for a year now. He said the reason why we are over is because i lie about little things and that makes him not trust me. The guy who i gave a hug to was a cowoker and it was al innocent. The guy does have a crush on me. I shoukd have never gave him a friendly buddy hug. I dont have feelings or anything for that guy. I know he was upset nut he told me he was done with trying to trust me. He asked if the guy has given me a hug more than twice and i told him no but also said sometimes he does give me hugs but Not all the time. My boyfriend is worried about the guys around me at our job. Yes we work together. When we have arguments. I try my hardest to be correct and honest with him. Now we’re going on day 3 still broken up and still living together. He’s on tge couch and I’m in the bedroom. I have hope thst we can work this out even though he said doesn’t want to when we were arguing. I’m not going to force him too either. I have faith and hope.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I’m Coach Natalie and I’m new to the team. I was moved by your situation and so wanted to take a moment to reply. I know it’s complicated trying to get back with an ex when you’re broken up and still living together. Do you know where his lack of trust came from? Developing a 360 approach may help put you in his shoes. When you understand his perspective, you’ll be able to develop a plan on getting back together. Try making a list of issues and solutions.
      Sincerely,
      Natalie

  • Benjie

    My name is Benjie and my ex girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago but she still lives with me AND she still contacts/hangs out with HER ex before me…she says she still loves me and deep down she wants this to work but she can’t get past or let go of the reasons why we broke up….she will threaten to move out and move back in with him and cut off all communication with me but then she wont actually leave and tells me that for some reason she can’t just leave me alone or walk away from me. She believes Im worth it in the end but says she just can’t do it and can’t let go or move past the things that caused the breakup. …meanwhile she still calls/texts/hangs out with her ex and sees no problem with it…please please please help !

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Benjie,
      Thanks for your share. I’m Coach Natalie and I’m the newest team member. Your story really resonated with me, so I wanted to take some time to send you a response. It seems to me like your ex girlfriend needs to appreciate you a bit more. Humans are creatures of craving, and we like things we can’t have. I think making yourself less available, even if you’re broken up but still living together, will remind her how valuable (and thereby more desirable) and you are. Have you seen our “Crash Course” on our site? I think you’ll really benefit from seeing it.
      Sincerely,
      Natalie

      • Mary

        Hi, me and my boyfriend been together for almost 6 years. I’m 21 and he’s 24. We’ve broken up a couple times throughout the years. Normally over petty things we can work through. Well we are currently living together. He begged for me back maybe 3 months ago. Cried and pleaded that he couldn’t live without me. So I gave it a go one last time. Cause I do love him more than absolutely anything. Well a couple months later.. we are living together and we’re happy. And all of a sudden he just thinks that we won’t work out. He said he’s not happy and he thinks it was more less the thought of being without me that made him beg for me. I know he loves me.. he tells me that. But he wants me to move out. I can’t financially do it on my own. I have nowhere to go. What can I do that could make him second guess this decision he is making?? I’m heartbroken. I can’t lose my best friend again. And someone I’ve spent a quarter of my life with.

  • Cat

    I’m 27 and moved from North Carolina to California to be with my boyfriend of almost 5 years. We used to live together in the beginning (we’re from the same place), but I was evolving into being an alcoholic and initially broke the trust by deleting some sketchy texts. He broke up with me to move to California for school, but changed his mind before he left, stating he didn’t think he could live without me. That was like lifting the titanic off my heart; I love him SO MUCH. He said just give him the 1st “trimester” (mini semesters) and he’d find an apartment and I should come out then. But I still had a drinking problem, and that combined w/ his uncertainty about us kept us facetiming from 3,000 miles away for months. We had some breakups and reunitings, then I moved to North Carolina to get away from the memories and pain (smaller town). I began visits to Cali every 3-4 months. This went on for almost 2 years; we have got to be a record breaking long distance (ex) couple. I got sober and within a couple of months he wanted me to come move in. I did. Nervous to leave family and friends, I would’ve cut off a limb to be with him again. Now he says our communication and frequent arguments (I don’t think they’re that frequent, but maybe that’s the the fiery Italian in me?) along with my “lack of ambition” and me being “not an adult” are the reasons for this breakup. We’ve had more baggage than most couples, w/ our crazy story. So I suggested counseling. He balked, then agreed. We still didn’t go. He’s very busy, a lawyer now. I’ve given up just about everything else I loved to be with him and he says he’s “tired of supporting me” (I make–seriously–almost as much as him waiting tables in downtown San Diego) but he also meant “emotionally” supporting me. I can see this as valid. I think I am somewhat dependent. The last straw here was him noticing I stay up til 4 sometimes, and sleep in. I have a later schedule, and I worry at night (missing my family and friends is a big theme). I can be depressive. But I have so much more to give and now that it’s “too late” I want to show him I can be more independent/reliable/responsible, before I have to move out this Christmas 🙁 we won’t have another shot. And I can’t lose him. He’s already told his employers, family and friends. We’ve made it through breakups before & he’s stayed to stick it out and give it a fair chance, but his seriousness this time tells me it’s the finale. I love him more than anything in the world, and I CAN change, I’ve proven that. I’m so scared 🙁

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Cat,
      I’m Coach Natalie. I’m really sorry to hear about your current situation, it’s undeniably painful to feel unloved or rejected by the one you love. I know you’re still living together, so my advices will have to be a bit more tailored. However, it seems to me like your boyfriend feels you as needy and demanding. This is pushing him away from you. In response, you panic and so become more needy and demanding. This is making it worse. If you want him to believe you’ve truly changed, you need to do the complete opposite – no contact (this will be increasing difficult because you still live together, but doable). In this time of silence, focus on yourself. I hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Coach Natalie

  • Tanker

    Hi so me and my ex had been together for 9 months but we moved in with each other right before we started dating and I’m really in love with her but she said when she broke up with me that she wasn’t in love with me anymore but she still loved me. 3 days after we broke up she went to an old friends birthday party and had sex with him and I found and out about it and confronted her and she wants me to move out but ever since she told me she wants me to move out we have hung everyday like when I bring her to work and pick her up we just sit at home and not really talk but we laugh with each other once and whIle but she still wants me to move and I really don’t want to leave because I still feel a connection between us but I know she’s talking to other guys already and it’s destroying me it really hurts.. any imput.in what I should/could do to maybe get her back or I don’t know what I should do.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Tanker,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I know it’s very painful to live with your ex after you’ve broken up. I think it will really help your relationship if you move out. This will give her the chance to miss you. Also, the less needier you are, the more inclined she’ll be to reconnect with you.
      I really hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Coach Natalie

  • Christopher

    Hi looking for advice, me and my girlfriend have been together almost 2 1/2 yrs, we’ve lived together 2yrs, (she’s 36 I’m 39) she been distant for a couple months i thought it was her depression so i gave her space, i tried telling her how i was feeling about 2 weeks ago and she said, (the truth is i been unhappy for a while and ill be leaving, I’m not doing this to hurt you but i am leaving) but i tried asking her many times if something was bothering her compassionately, because i saw a difference when she started taking new meds… we still live together for a few more weeks and i just been trying to ask her things she wants and how she feels, but i still do for her and her son like cook dinner every day and clean up… she’s still here and her son and been showing her i want to change for her… how can i prove to her i love them both…..

    • Coach natalie

      Chris,
      Thank you for being willing to share your story. You are truly in a tough spot, especially if you are her and still living together. I think that it will be best to give her a bit of time to sort her thoughts and emotions out. Similarly, this will give you the opportunity to decipher what she really needs from you. If you can identify this, you’ll be in the right position to get her back long-term.
      I hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Coach Natalie

  • takayis thomas

    Hi I’m 19 and was with my girlfriend for a year she moved in with after about 8 months and we’ve lived together since so one night we got into a really nasty fight and long story short i threw her phone at her face and busted her lip. Its wrong I know say what you want me and her have talked about it and we have grown and moved on from it but its weird tht we sill have sex and she shows me affection and gives me kisses. Whenever I do try to bring back up the situation she avoids talking about it so i just drop it. I just wanna know if she just doing it not to hirt my feelings or should I move out. I do wanna be with her and all tht jazz. Its just weird because its been 2 months sice it happend and we sleep in separate rooms ever since.

  • Julie

    Hello, this is my first time doing this but I guess it’s worth a shot. I’M 25 and my bf is 28. He gets angry and pretty easily when he feels like he’s being attacked and it’s hard to deal with. For example we went to a fair and he was rude to me in front of the cashier at the stand and he kept doing it (he later told me it was because he was hot and sleepy) so I eventually got upset and told him he was being nasty and got nasty back. I know I should learn to communicate better but it’s hard when little things like this happen all the time. He can sometimes be super insensitive. On my birthday all he did was say happy birthday and nothing else for the rest of the day. We live together and have a 1 year old so he had ample opportunities to do something sweet but didn’t. Then when midnight hit I yelled at him saying how mean he is and how could he constantly treat me this way and ran into the room and cried. He didn’t come in to comfort me or anything he just continued to play his game and eventually did something else. The next day he pops in the door with flowers, a cake, and a cars saying how sorry he was. So yes I will say he can be sexual and sweet but he demonizes our relationship so much and lives in the past. When we argue or get on the verge of breaking up he always says he’s unhappy and doesn’t love me and that he’s not happy with how his life turned out because it wasn’t the way it was supposed to be like, but I try to explain how him living in the past is hurting us so badly. But when we are together and smiling he always says he loves me and he’s in love with me etc. I noticed over these 3 years that he says those mean things when he’s angry or a break up happens. I don’t really get a reaction out of him usually. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t explain his emotions until something drastic happens i.e a break up. I broke up with him last night and we still live together with our 1 yr old and I’m just wondering, is there even a chance here? HE wants us to stay and he’ll move out to his mom’s while he pays our bills or him just stay in general too. I can’t financially afford anything and can’t get a job bc of college and child care is expensive. I guess I just want know should I even keep trying? I love him but he’s a Roller coaster. And mean sometimes

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Julie,
      Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us. I know it’s very challenging to question whether or not to keep trying. It’s also very frustrating to have broken up with your ex if you’re still living together and have a child together. I think you could really use this time to determine what you want out of a relationship. Similarly, it seems as though he could use some time to organize his thoughts. If this is the man you want, reflect on how to diffuse your temperaments to create a more cohesive and happy environment and relationship. This Videobook may be a huge help for you: https://www.withmyexagain.com/product/if-you-still-live-together/
      I really hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Natalie

  • Celeste

    Hello, my husband who I have one child with recently left me last week. It has been a rough unhappy 5 years but we had our good times. I have a lot of mental disorders, which effected the relationship. I never felt good enough so ended up cheating on him twice. I get why he left, the most recent time he got with his co-worker. I freaked out the night he left me but I have been doing better since. I am working out and trying to keep myself busy. Him on the other hand, he works nights as a cook but doesn’t get back home til 3am. He talked to me fine last saturday but ignored me for two days straight. And talked to me again today! I am very confused on what he is trying to tell me, he currently is still sleeping on the couch. But then helps me with rides to places I need to be the next day. And we are spending thanksgiving with his family, and I need advice on not to worry about him and just be happy! Cause this could be the last thanksgiving we spend together as a family.. And i wanna make the most of it.

  • Sara

    My children’s father and I have been in a relationship for 5 years. We have a 3 yr old and one on the way and we just moved in together. We are not seeing eye to eye on our relationship. He wants to hang out every night while im home. Every Night?! I dont mind some nights but every night doesnt sit right with me. I try to tell him how i feel abt it and he either shuts down or goes to sleep! Tonight he told me “to do what would make you happy” and right now the onlu thing that would make be happy is leaving, only because of his behavior. I love him deeply. But I can’t stay in this house trying to act happy and be friends.

  • Mr. K

    6 months ago my ex and I broke up. We lived together for 3 years and have a baby together. She started cheating on me and looked for other guys outside so I moved out. I was doing fine until recently when I had a financial break down and cant afford my rent. I now have to move out and have nowhere else to go except back to my ex for a few months until I get back on my feet. Is that the right move for me to do? What should I do? Please help me with advise.

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Mr.K,
      Thank you for your share. I know how challenging it can be to feel like you’re forced to rely on your ex, or to be broken up with your ex but still living together. If you ex was cheating on you, it is likely that they felt like you weren’t able to provide them with longterm happiness. This being the case, I don’t encourage you to move back in, as it’ll reinforce her fears that you aren’t able to make her happy or feel safe. If you can find an alternative, I would suggest you take it. However, this is only if you’re trying to get her back. If you aren’t, then perhaps take some time to reflect on what’s best for you and how to make that work. If you need help, I invite you to book a session so we can speak about this over the phone.
      I really hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Coach Natalie

  • Vicente

    Hello I read this article and many like it ,im still a little confused with my situation .we have been together 2 years fell in love and move in with each other after 3 months ,we have worked very hard and fell very deep for each other and it felt as though overnight one fight that we had no different from any other one caused her to tell me she doesn’t want me anymore ,we are not good for each other and she has prayed for the strength to leave me. Are fight are always over somthing as small as giving the plants water or taking out the trash wich i know now are so dumb but i have never payed a hand on her or gave up when she was at her lowest why does she do that to me.These are all very hurtful words and hard to believe because less than a month ago she was suicidal on one of our fights where I threatened to leave like I have many times before (which I completely regret )we still live together .I’m still extremely in love with her but after what she told me that it’s hard for me to find hope with convincing her then I am willing and going to do everything I can to be the man she deserves I just found out this morning she created a separate bank account from our joint account which only tells me more she doesn’t want me. please help me I haven’t spoken to her in 5 days since this happened I am 22 she is 19.that hardest part about all this that I cannot find anywhere else is that she just started taking a medication for her hyperthyroid which will play with her hormones and emotions when she decided to leave me she was on these medications which completely numb her emotions how do you convince someone you’re worth their love when they have no emotions

    • Coach natalie

      Hi Vicente,
      I know it’s tough to feel like things will work, especially since you’re broken up but possibly still living together. You mentioned a key point in this comment : “we have worked very hard and fell very deep for each other and it felt as though overnight one fight that we had no different from any other one caused her to tell me she doesn’t want me anymore ,we are not good for each other and she has prayed for the strength to leave me” – you mentioned that one fight like any other caused it to end. However, you need to see every fight as important. Your ex likely wanted to break up for a while, but one fight it what broke the camel’s back. You’ll need to determine the trends within the fighting in order to find a solution that will rectify your differences. I encourage you to book a session with me in order to discuss what’s going to work best.
      I hope this helps.
      Sincerely,
      Coach Natalie

  • Johnny Habenstein

    Hello my name is John , I’m 31 years old and have a 3 year old daughter with the woman of my dreams but have been split up now for almost 2 and a half years. She is now seeing someone else and obviously trying to hide it from me even though I’ve told her id rather she not. She was and id like to think she still is my best Friend but I don’t know what I can do to either change the situation our even make the best out of it? Please help me? I could never even imagine my life without her in it at least as my friend still. I would do anything I had to at this point to try and salvage what it’s Left of our relationship. She means the world to me and not a day goes by for the past 2 and half years that I don’t strive to have her in my arms again and never let her go. But she is the type of woman that love will never be enough for I’m afraid. I don’t want to give up on her and I even though I feel that she has? I’ve honestly never felt that she loved me the way that I do her? I know that isn’t a fair assumption to make but it’s the way I have felt. I wish it weren’t so but i am not the type of person that can change the way i feel with the snap of my fingers? So I’m seeking advice at this point,and have ventured down more than one avenue. I am seeing a guidance counselor just to have someone to speak with about it because I can’t talk to her because it is just to the point where she hates me it seems? I am making very poor choices to try to deal with the heart ache and emptiness I’m feeling along with becoming more and more depressed (which I know is terribly UN attractive) but I don’t know what to do? I know that it is almost impossible to make her happy in the situation that I’m in financially, and mentally but she is worth every bit of struggle it would take to fix what we had. I just can’t even seem to get past the first step because I’ve never felt this lost without a person in my life. I’ve got to imagine that a man being that Co dependent and needy for someones love is probably the most UN desirable feature there could be about a person but I’m unsure of how else I am capable of being for this is how I feel about her. She has always made me a better person and made me strive to be better when she was by my side but without her love and compassion I feel as of its pointless to even try? I need help. Not just to save this relationship our salvage at least what is left, but I need help for me….. I have 3 beautiful children who deserve so much more from me. I know that I am a living father and I am and always will be there for them but they all have to grow up in a broken home now just the same as I did and I can’t begin to explain the toll that took on me as a child of . Divorce ? The only good that came from out I would say is the fact that I have developed such strong family values that I would ensure endless amounts of pain and heartache just to keep my family together. I can’t think of any one thing inside the limits of the law that would be so unforgivable that My family should be broken up. Even if my wife became a 2 dollar pirate hooker ! I would still love her the same. Obviously with hopes of changing her career choice but I would heove her none the less. Love is a very powerful force and I believe once you build that bond with a person, a person that you truly love, more than anything else in this world, then there should never be anything that can stand in the way of that. I heard a sorry when I was a child that Plato believed that all humans were actually born into this world with 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads because we were born with our soul mates as a part of us. This made zeus feel very threatened of the mortals for he did not want us to have happiness while he spent an eternity alone.so he took it upon himself to split the beings apart so that we may have to spend or entire life searching for the one who completes us or makes us while again. Our soul mate.
    I believe this to be as right as rain, and I feel that if you find that one then you should cherish them for love and love alone is the only thing in this life that we are not guaranteed to experience. Humans are one of the few mammals who are supposed to mate for life.