She doesn’t trust me

The girl you love has told you that she doesn’t want to get back together because she doesn’t trust you… So what can you do? Is all hope lost? Trust is very fragile and once it’s broken it’s hard to repair, but does that mean it’s impossible? Sometimes a person has a very specific reason for losing trust in someone, but what happens if you didn’t actually do anything wrong? Is there anything you can do then? Well, if you’re thinking, “I want her back but she doesn’t trust me,” you’ve come to the right place!

I’m going to help you to see what’s going on in her mind right now and what exactly you can do about it. There are certain do’s and don’ts to take into consideration right now, but you’re going to have a better idea about how to handle the situation by the time you reach the end of this article!

My ex girlfriend doesn’t trust me anymore: Why?

As I was saying, sometimes a person has a very clear cut reason that they no longer trust you, but sometimes you’re having trouble figuring out why they’re so suspicious of you.

For example, if you cheated on your girlfriend, it makes sense that she wouldn’t trust you.

This reminds me of my client Eric who had started texting another girl. His relationship with his fiancée had started to become a bit monotonous and he gave into temptation to spice things up.

He met this girl at a work function, thought she was attractive, and exchanged numbers with her when she proposed.

She began messaging him, and little by little the heat started getting turned up in their conversation.

The day his fiancée found discovered these messages was not a fun one… To her, he had seriously crossed the line and he realized that he definitely did.

My ex girlfriend doesn’t trust me anymore

Each person has their own definition of cheating, and it’s imperative that a couple is on the same page about what it means to them.

On the surface, he told himself that if he didn’t do anything physical with this other woman, it didn’t count as cheating, but deep down he knew that it felt like cheating and that his fiancée would see it as such.

So, she left him.

He came to me saying, “She doesn’t trust me and I completely understand why… But how do I prove to her that it will never happen again? She doesn’t believe anything that comes out of my mouth now, but I want to be with her. I screwed up so badly… This is the love of my life and I think I may have lost her.”

Then there was Nicolas, who came to me saying that he and his ex had broken up because they were having too many communication issues.

He had been working on getting her back but she said that she didn’t trust him.

His email to me was, “I never lied to her, I never did anything behind her back. We broke up mutually but I’ve told her that I want her back.

I think we can work through the communication problems we were having, but my ex girlfriend doesn’t trust me anymore and said she doesn’t believe in this relationship.

She doesn’t think I can change. I don’t get it. What do I do?”

In Eric’s case, we know exactly why his ex didn’t trust him, but in Nicolas’ case, it’s harder to pinpoint where the issue was stemming from.

Yes, there was clearly a communication issue, but there was something else that was making his ex girlfriend distrust him… even though he hadn’t done anything to break their trust.

I asked him about any lies he may have told her – even white lies. He said, “No, I always made an effort to be as honest as possible because she had told me how important it was to her.”

I decided to explore that route a bit further.

When we dove deeper into his ex girlfriend’s past, it turns out that she had an ex that manipulated her and lied to her throughout the entire length of their relationship. She thought everything was wonderful until the day all of his lies surfaced.

My client told me that it was hard for her to talk about her relationship with this guy, and it became very clear that she was in fact not over him. What’s more, her trust had been so badly broken that she was transferring her mistrust to her new (and now ex) boyfriend.

So, what do you do if YOUR ex says, “I don’t trust you”?

What to do when your ex partner doesn’t trust you

What to do when your ex partner doesn’t trust you

Just saying “Hey, I’m sorry” isn’t going to be enough. We all know that actions speak louder than words, and your ex knows this better than anyone.

If you did something that broke your ex girlfriend or wife’s trust, you’re probably panicking right now thinking, “Will she ever trust me again?!” Rest assured, you can right these wrongs but it’s going to take time.

You cannot expect to wave a magic wand and have all of this fixed by tomorrow. You have to invest in love and relationships with people you care about, and if you want to prove to your ex that you can be trustworthy, you have to show her, not tell her.

She doesn’t want to hear words about all the things you’re going to do differently – she wants to see you doing all these things differently. Yes, you can begin by telling her what will change but it’s imperative that you follow up with concrete actions.

If she doesn’t see change, she’s not going to take you back. Plain and simple. She doesn’t want to step back into the same exact relationship you had before because you both know how that ended.

If you were in the habit of hiding things from her, make a conscious effort to be transparent and open up to her. Show her that you want to share with her.

If you were cheating on her with someone repeatedly, cut ties with that person and you could even show your ex the message you sent saying that it all ends here.

Now, if you don’t quite know why your ex is struggling with trust issues, I invite you to take a look at her past. She is going to have to understand that you are not her ex or the person who hurt her in the past. This can be communicated through gestures as well.

The importance of control

It’s important to note that you are not in control of your ex’s emotions – you are in control of your own. This means that you’ve got to take care of anything that you’re in control of.

Make sure that you’re living a life that is healthy, full of joy, and is fulfilling.

The best way to make a person want to get closer to you is to attract them back into your life by making it look as enticing as possible.

You’ve got to give her reason to want to get closer to you, and when she does she will see that you’re a good guy. Sometimes it just people a moment to realize that their past is in the past and that not all people are the same.

You have to lay a solid foundation if your relationship wasn’t balanced before. Give her space if she’s asking for it, and let her know that you are going to do whatever it takes to earn her trust.

Be open to discussing solutions together and listen to what your ex says about what she needs from you.

Don’t put up walls or get defensive. Communication about the issue is the key right now.

Each situation is entirely unique, so I would suggest getting in touch with me directly for personalized advice. I can guide you from A to Z, so don’t hesitate to reach out.

Wishing you all the best

Your coach when she doesn’t trust me

Adrian