You’ll have to take some time to really evaluate what you feel for this person and whether or not you’re better off without them. If you do feel that they’re the one for you, don’t worry, there are methods that can be used for getting you back together, and if they are not the one for you, after a period of healing you’ll be feeling like a million bucks again! We are here to help guide you every step of the way throughout this painful and frustrating time, so let’s get started with figuring out what all of this means!
Understanding what caused them to break up via text
All partners are not made equal. Some people are more shy, introverted or do not know how to handle conflict. Some simply are afraid of hurting a person that they once loved and others are simply looking for the easy way out. There are a multitude of reasons that could explain what pushes someone to break up with their ex-lover in a manner that is as impersonal as being dumped by text message.
More importantly however, most of the people that have been broken up with in that way are left without a detailed explanation of what went wrong or at the very least, left wanting more of an explanation. That is a normal reaction to have, and a crucial point that we will encourage you to swiftly find an answer to.
As such, we will ask you to focus less energy on trying to rationalize the way by which you were broken up with and focus your more on the reasons that pushed him or her to end the relationship all together. It is your right to know what went wrong, and your ex partners’ last moral obligation to give you a reason for the separation, no matter what that may be!
A person needs to understand why a break up happened for a variety of reasons ranging from gaining closure, to knowing what to be careful with in the future. No one is perfect, so if you learn that one or many of your actions led to this separation, you’ll know what aspects of yourself need a little bit of work. Think of it as a very important learning opportunity that will ensure that you will be much happier in the future!
Another important thing to do is to ask yourself if your ex had some serious communication issues. You don’t want to end up in a similar situation in the future, so recognizing warning signs is always beneficial. Again, as painful as this whole thing is, at least it’s providing you with valuable lessons and information!
Take the high road and give them space
Once your ex has given you a rational explanation for his decision to end the relationship or why you were dumped by text, we advise you to stop reaching out to them and to even cease all casual conversation all together. Looking to stay friends or checking in from time to time before you have fully moved on will only bring you further pain and suffering. If you’re always reaching out to them or seeing them, it’s pretty much like twisting the knife in the wound. You’re constantly being reminded of your relationship and of the heartbreak.
We are aware of how difficult it can be to not reach out and seek a second chance. More than just self-discipline, we will advocate for self-respect and self-value. Don’t give your ex that power over you and that satisfaction to know that you are still at their mercy, despite the fact that they decide to breakup with you and that you were dumped by text message no less!
The quickest way to recovery will be for you to move forward while focusing on yourself and to look for tools to help you be at peace and activities that enable you to stay busy and positive.
Take some time to pick up old hobbies that brought you joy in the past that maybe you’ve gotten away from while you were in a relationship, spend time with people that make you happy, focus on your personal and professional projects and really excel, go to the gym and get those endorphins flowing. If you want to, you can even give yourself a makeover! Focus on your happiness right now, and things will start going your way.
Block them from on all social media platforms and give yourself space
Social media has become such an essential communication platform that it is difficult to live without these tools. We will not advise to stay off of Facebook or your other favorite social platforms, but we strongly encourage you to block your ex out completely. Furthermore if you have mutual friends or connections that will make your ex appear inadvertently as part of your timeline or in other ways, we advise to block those “intermediary friends” as well. It might feel heartbreaking while you do it, but trust me, you’ll begin feeling better as soon as you have less reminders of them popping up left and right!
This is not about them and more about you. You need to create a safe haven, or the necessary space to once again find yourself without being polluted by the negativity that surrounds your ex. People fail to realize that breakups should be all about themselves, (but in a positive manner), and not about their ex. Switching the focus from them to you is a huge game changer.
Although these are tremendously challenging times, it is a unique opportunity to assess changes that you would like to implement in your own life. The less time you spend surveying your ex’s photos and whereabouts on social media and the more time you will spend focusing on turning a bad situation into a life changing opportunity!
Dumped by text: a blessing in disguise?
From our experience, when someone is dumped by text message, the person that is being broken up with has more to offer than the one who triggers the separation. Of course, it usually takes a bit of time for one to realize that the break up they suffered was actually a blessing in disguise and an opportunity to find a better and more compatible partner.
The assumption, and one that we are looking to prove over time and in continuously studying similar occurrences is that most people breaking up via text message have their fair share of inner struggle and insecurities. Those are manifested or come to light in the fact that the person is not able to assume their decision to breakup with their ex or confront them to explain their decision in person.
As such we ask you to find comfort in knowing that you are not entirely to blame, and that you can move forward knowing full well that the love of your life is most probably in your future and not in your past.
What if I still really want my ex back?
Of course, each situation is unique and perhaps there is a real reason why your ex needed to end things via text message and you can’t help but feel the desire to be together again. The best thing to do in order to be sure if seducing your ex again is a good idea would be to get in touch with us directly. Together we can help you figure out if this is really the right person for you!
If it turns out to be the case, there are certain steps to follow and you’ll need to be patient, motivated, and in control of your emotions.
You’ve been hurt so it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but we will help you to get back in control of your life so that you can become as happy as possible, with or without your ex! Don’t hesitate to leave a comment below with any questions you may have and we’d be more than happy to personally reply to you.
Your love coach, here to help you recover after having been dumped by text message,
Adrian
9 Responses
How do I reply to this message from my boyfriend?
Some say don’t reply as he was a coward messaging you and you don’t deserve to give him closure or don’t reply at This clearly isn’t right between us considering we haven’t talked to one another in 5 days. I’m really sorry but I’m in a bad place and what I’ve gone threw in the last couple of years has been hell so need to sort my life before being a burden on anyone else first, and being in a relationship isn’t helping me with this. Also I’m just bringing you down too, a lot! We argued way to much in my eyes considering we’ve only been together 9 months, it’s just not healthy for anyone. I’m sorry for wasting your time but some things are just not meant to be. I never want to hurt anyone but this is relationship is not working for me anymore. Your a great person and just feel your wasting your time and efforts on me. I’m a coward for doing it this way that’s why I wrote to you, but I’m struggling to say it any other way sorry.
Hi,
Can anyone help. My ex boyfriend dumped me over text on Monday, he said the arguments were too much for him and his energy has gone. I found it difficult because he ended it straight after our holiday, blocked me on social media. Still 5 days on and I am still confused why he insulted me throughout the text and didn’t even want to end things on good terms with me. It was a short term relationship.. around 4 months. I was hurt from all the nasty things he was saying like he couldn’t us with a future or that I’m too selfish. I had a miscarriage 2 days ago and he didn’t even ask me if I was ok. Is he even upset over our relationship?
Hi Amie,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how painful this is. Without knowing details, I can’t assess whether or not he’s upset – but I can say that if there were indeed lots of arguments, it’ll be important for you to spend time determining what they were and how resolvable they are if you’d like him back and happy. I can help you here, if you’d like.
I hope this helps!
Best,
Coach N.
Hi I need some advice.
My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday, and it was honestly very unexpected. I feel completely blindsided because the day before he was saying how much he loved me and earlier in the week we were talking about forever. Now he is saying that he can’t be in a relationship anymore and that he’s not the guy for me. Two weeks before that he broke up with me because he said we were arguing too much. However, after some convincing, he ended up wanting to work it out with me. And now he doesn’t. In the two weeks that we had been working it out, I thought I had been doing better at not getting upset or starting arguments. On Sunday I overreacted about something even though it wasn’t his fault, then he ended it on text. In the text he said we could talk the next day if I wanted to, but that never happened as he said it wasn’t a good time to talk. Each time I reach out to him, he won’t talk to me in person, saying that he has nothing more to say and that we’re really done. I know what my problems are and the things that I can do to make things better, but he isn’t having it. I really think we can still work if he just gives me the chance. What do I do?
Hi A,
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I’d like to state, firstly, like if the breakup was blindsided, then we have more work to do. I say this because if you weren’t aware of what he was feeling, then there’s a disconnect that needs to be mended. I do believe, though, that based on what you’ve shared, that you can get him back.
I invite you to book a session with me. I believe I can help you.
Wishing you the best,
Coach N
Hi,I’m caroline
I was dumped by sMs from my fiance and as I asked the reasons he said he feels that he can’t support me yet I’ve never asked for anything just only transport or lunch money.he wanted that I support myself in everything which I think is being a miser.should I not regret this?
Hello Amy,
If you haven’t done anything in the past to make him feel this way, then I believe there is some instability on his part. I would reflect on some patterns he may show and see if there is something going on that you are unsure about. I only say this because if there is no reason for him to accuse you of not trusting him, then this is an act on his behalf.
Best,
WMEA Team
Hi,
So I definitely want my ex back because she was an amazing girl to me anyway has others would say that she is a little coco I see otherwise. I love her so much but things got complicated pretty quickly with some jail and court time, to fighting all the time about having a child and being married and what should come first. I understand that she can be stubborn but so am I. Two days ago now, she broke up with me via text saying that she found another guy she likes, and wants to see what’s out there, and that I should do the same. Now, I know what you are thinking and I agree “let her go” and find someone new but it’s not that simple she has my child on the way, she’s pregnant and I’m no dead beat nor do I want to co parent. So how do I get her back so that we can be a Happy Family.
Hello Branden,
Thank you fo your comment. I cannot give you advice without talking to you about the context of the relationship. It seems that there is a lot of healing and change that has to be done in this relationship and I do think its possible. I encourage you to reach out to us for a private coaching session so we can help you get your relationship back. https://www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Best,
WMEA Team