As you are very well aware, tensions run very high after a breakup. There is a surge of emotions and even the smallest thing can turn into an argument unexpectedly. It’s a very normal thing, but if you truly believe that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’ll have to find a way to ease the tensions.
There are a few tools available to you now, so I’m going to go over the best things to do in this situation. Sometimes the problem is as simple as wanting to rush things and get back together too quickly. You have to take the time to analyze the situation and come up with solutions to the problems that you have been facing. Understanding how to avoid arguments with your ex is going to be one of the keys to getting back together and building a relationship that is better than before.
If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below or get in touch with us directly right here. It would be our pleasure to personally respond to you!
Why post relationship arguments are so common
When two people shared a relationship and have witnessed its demise, they can be flooded with a sea of emotions – most of which are negative. They’re hurt, feeling betrayed, and disappointed, and they’ll often experience resentment towards their ex.
It might be subconscious, but they could be feeling that it’s all their ex’s fault, and that they’re unhappy like this because of everything that their ex did. They could be thinking something along the lines of, “I wasn’t important enough to you to make an effort to make this work,” “Or you’re the reason we lost everything we shared.” When resentment is harbored like this, it’s very common to lose your cool in an instant. Not to mention the fact that a breakup is mentally and physically exhausting.
You have shed so many tears, you can’t sleep, and you might have even lost your appetite. All of these things are going to directly impact your mood and the way you interact with people…
The fact of the matter is that you are going to have to give yourself a moment to calm down after the shock of a breakup. As I mentioned above, a lot of people encounter issues with arguing in a person they used to be with because they’re rushing things without realizing it. You see, we can want something so bad that we’ll push and push to make it happen, without taking into consideration the fact that we need to properly heal before we can build something solid with someone.
There is always a reason behind a breakup. They don’t just happen out of the blue for no reason! Something was off and it was making one or both of you unhappy in the relationship. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the love just disappears into thin air the moment you break up. You’ll actually probably start to think more about how much you miss the good times and will want to do anything to get back to when things were good between you. This can lead you to try to rush things and become even more frustrated than you were when you realize it’s not working. The result is obviously more tension and arguing…
Which is exactly what you need to avoid when you want to know how to avoid arguments with the person you love!
How to avoid arguments with your ex when you’re hoping to make them fall for you again
When things get messy, you need space. If you and your ex have been bickering, it’s going to be hard to start fresh. You’ve got to give yourselves the time and space to breathe, organize your thoughts, and calm down.
If you’re familiar with our philosophy, then you will have undoubtedly heard about the no contact rule. It is one of the most powerful techniques for making an ex want you back simply because it allows you to analyze the situation and come up with solutions, work on yourself, and make your ex want to get closer to you again. There is nothing better when you want to stop arguing with your ex spouse or partner.
If the breakup is fresh, you are both probably too emotionally invested and upset to objectively think about the situation, what is important, and what needs to happen.
Sometimes a person really has to just take a step back in order to make a big leap forward.
Go ahead and click the link above if you would like to find more in-depth information about the no contact rule, but to give you a quick summary, it consists of cutting all communication with your ex for a predetermined period of time. During this time it is crucial that you do some serious introspection and think about what you could have done differently and what you will do differently in the future. I know it’s tempting but you have to fight the urge to reach out to your ex during this period or to reply to their messages…
Because yes, chances are that he or she will reach out. When something is abruptly taken away from us, it catches our full attention. We have a terrible tendency to take things for granted and we realize it the moment they’re not around anymore.
So when you want to know how to prevent an argument, the first step is to put space between you. You can take comfort in knowing that if there are arguments, it means there are still feelings.
The opposite of love is not hatred – it’s indifference.
The most important thing to do right now is to switch your focus to yourself. You are not in control of your ex’s reactions, but you are in control of your own. Think about what improvements you can make in terms of communication.
Do you have a tendency to put up walls, become accusatory, or never admit that you might be wrong? Identifying some of these types of roadblocks will help you to tackle challenges in the future.
Every single relationship encounters bumps in the road, but you have to tackle these issues as a team instead of as opponents. It’s hard of course when you’re in the moment and tensions are running high, but with time you can train yourself to have different reactions. What’s more, the other person begins to see an example of how to handle conflict in a more productive manner and you can work on this together.
How to stop an argument with positivity
If you’re on this site right now, you believe in your relationship with your ex. You are feeling positive about it, even though you know that you’re facing a challenging period. If you bring that positivity to the forefront, you can turn resentment and anger into compassion.
Putting yourself in your ex partner’s shoes and inviting him or her to do the same with you can make a huge difference.If you continually respond positively to negative emotions, the negativity will start to go away over time.
During your no contact period, I encourage you to write a handwritten letter to your ex in which you express what you’ve come to understand, and what you’re willing to do about it. You two are experiencing communication issues and you’re going to make a valiant effort to be understanding and avoiding pointing the finger.
It’s true that our emotions can become so intense when we are speaking to an ex face to face that things end up coming out wrong. Writing it out clearly on a sheet of paper will help organize your thoughts and present them in the best way possible to your ex!
Like I said above, we are always here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for learning how to avoid arguments with your ex
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!