As a coach specialized in getting people back together, I work with people on a regular basis that come to be for help in restoring their connection with the person they love. Breakups are extremely painful, and things can seem bleak when your partner tells you that he or she just isn’t interested anymore. Now you’re wondering, “How to make my ex interested again and give me a second chance…” Fortunately you’ve found this article because I am about to explain how to do that exactly!
How to make an ex interested again faster than you thought possible
Right off the bat I want to explain that this process is going to take a little bit of time. You can’t expect to change your ex’s mind overnight, but you can start working on making them want to give you a second chance starting today. In fact, you are much more in control of this situation than you might realize. It’s normal that you would feel discouraged and you’re probably wondering how on earth you are going to be able to change your ex’s mind when they told you they were no longer interested.
Well first things first, you already know that it’s possible to change things because you’ve gone out of your way to find an article that is going to explain how, so hat’s off to you for already taking the reigns!
So let’s dive into the do’s and don’ts of making someone interested in you again.
How to make my interested again: Things to avoid!
The biggest thing you’re going to want to avoid right now is begging and pleading with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to take you back. If they were already uninterested in being with you, this is just going to give them a big shove further out the door.
Any type of clingy or needy behavior is extremely off-putting, especially in these types of situations. There are tensions between you already and things are delicate. If you present yourself in a negative light to your ex, they aren’t going to feel more inclined to want to be around you. Remember that now the goal is to inspire him or her to want to get closer to you.
You want to spark their curiosity and the best way to do this is by sparking their interest.
This means that we’re going to need to focus on actions instead of words. You can even use one of the most powerful techniques for getting back together with an ex…
How to make an ex interested in you by using the No Contact Rule
Now that you’ve broken up, there needs to a shift. Things ended for a reason and it’s crucial that you take some time to analyze the situation and pinpoint what went wrong and how you can offer concrete, long-term solutions in the future. In addition to this, this is a period that should serve for growth and personal development.
When you put space between you and your ex using the No Contact Rule, a couple very interesting things begin to happen, but before I go over that I want to briefly explain this tool to you. The NC Rule consists of cutting communication with your significant other for a predetermined period of time (usually three weeks to three months). It serves as an electroshock to your ex who up until now has been taking you for granted. They suddenly see what life is like without you at their beck and call and because it is so sudden, their human nature makes them want you back.
In addition, this period is meant to serve as time during which you can reflect, grow, and improve all aspects of your life. For more in-depth information on how to use the no contact rule, I encourage you to read this article right away!
When you want to know how to make a guy interested in you or how to spark a girl’s interest in you again, you have to make them begin to wonder about you. If you’re always texting and calling, they have no opportunity to miss you. What’s more, if you start to use this tool properly and start working on becoming the best version of yourself, you’re going to catch their attention like never before.
How to make her interested again: Focusing on what changed
A lot of the guys that I work with come to me asking about how to make a woman interested in you again when she says the spark has gone away.
Oftentimes what happens in relationships is simply that what you were doing in the beginning of the relationship to make her fall for you isn’t happening any more. She stopped feeling special, she stopped feeling like she was The Prize, and she started to feel taken for granted.
When this starts to happen, she can lose interest because the relationship doesn’t feel fulfilling or exciting anymore. It can begin to feel monotonous so she could start to want something else. This is when she will become distant, and even more so if the breakup has already occurred.
So how can you make her fall for you again? Well, you’ve got to be the person that she fell in love with in the first place, but become the new and improved version. This is something that you can work on while you’re in your no contact period.
Be the person your ex met, not the person that they left
I think you will agree with me when I say that things changed throughout the course of the relationship. When you first got together, you were different from the person you are today, and that is a common phenomenon. We often get too comfortable in our romantic relationships and our partners end up feeling like they were taken for granted.
This is why in our coaching sessions with clients we often say, “Be the person your ex met, not the one that they left.” If you want them to become interested again, you have to bring back the person that sparked their interest in the first place. This means that you’ve got to think about what things you lost track of in your life that made you happy before. How can you boost your self confidence? How can you get more physically active? How can you start moving closer to your personal and professional goals?
How to make your ex interested in you again: Being independent
Many people lose interest in a person because they started to feel neglected and taken for granted, but another common issue is neediness and clinginess in the relationship. If your ex felt like your life revolved exclusively around them and you didn’t have you own things going on, they could begin to feel pressured and suffocated in the relationship, which is a big turn off.
This is why it’s so important to focus on restoring your self confidence after a breakup so that you can make him interested or spark her interest in you again.
Sometimes people lose interest simply out of self preservation. They know that they are in a situation that feels draining, so they bow out. When a person doesn’t see a happy future with you, they’re not going to want to stay. So now it’s important to work on creating a life that looks like something that another person would want to be a part of. You’re doing it for yourself because you deserve to be happy, but simultaneously, this will spark your ex’s interest.
Prioritizing happiness when trying to spark an ex’s interest again
Chances are that things got so complicated towards the end of the relationship that you both lost sight of the happiness you used to experience together and everything ended in a painful breakup.
We tend to fixate on love when at the end of the day we should be focusing on happiness. We should be focusing on how to spend positive, fun, and memorable moments with the person we love. When we lose track of that, the relationship experiences a shift. That’s when we feel pressure, and that is also when we can just start feeling bored.
My colleague Coach Nat used an analogy the other day that I thought was great. She said that it was like reading a book. You get 70 pages or so in and if you decide that this book is boring, you’re going to close it and put it down thinking, “This isn’t for me.”
If someone feels that things with you were getting boring or predictable, they’re going to feel like you aren’t compatible. So change this! Surprise them! It’s all in your power.
So instead of sulking around at home, start analyzing the situation, pinpointing what exactly went wrong, what you can do in the future to avoid the same problems, how you can ensure that your future relationship would feel fresh, and start working on restoring your self confidence by filling your schedule up with activities and people that bring you joy!
We are always here to help so please don’t hesitate to get in touch. You can leave your question in the comment section below or reach out to us personally right here. We can guide you from A to Z through this challenging period!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re wondering, “How to make my ex interested again”
Adrian
