Just because two people break up, it doesn’t mean that their emotions completely disappear. You separated after a fight, or an accumulation of bad behavior or because of exterior elements that had upset your relationship. Emotions that existed in your relationship are often still present after the breakup, and jealousy is not uncommon.
In our topic today, you’re not the jealous one; it’s your ex that is experiencing these feelings as he is trying to come back into your life. Despite the separation, you are witnessing an emotion that generally only exists in relationships: jealousy.
You were maybe thinking that your ex was going to turn the page and stop this kind of behavior, but to your surprise the situation is quite the opposite. It’s becoming harder and harder to understand what’s going on and why your ex is acting like this.
People often ask me, “My ex is jealous, is this a good sign?” because even if you still love him and want to get back together, you want to understand his behavior.
After all, everyone wants to know if someone is in love with them, and when an ex is coming back around it’s a good sign. So an ex’s jealousy can be considered a good sign, but you’ll understand by the end of this article and it isn’t necessarily always something positive.
My ex is jealous, does he want me back?
The first explanation for this behavior could simply be that your ex hasn’t forgotten you, and that he doesn’t know the proper techniques for communicating his feelings to you. When he sees you with another man, or even just exchanges somewhere or on social media, he gets mad and then approaches you.
When a man is in love, (well, the same thing goes for women in love,) it’s understandable that he wouldn’t like the idea of you seeing someone other than him. Even if you aren’t really doing anything, sometimes even just a conversation within comments on a Facebook picture can push him over the edge.
Your ex is showing his jealousy to get a reaction out of you. It’s easier to throw a fit of jealousy than to declare your love to your ex. So he’s trying to send you a message! His attempt at getting you back is going to be harder if you’re in the arms of someone else, and that’s not an idea that he likes.
An ex’s jealousy doesn’t necessarily mean he’s in love with you
“My ex is jealous so he’s in love with me.” Not exactly! This is a big mistake. I’m not saying your ex doesn’t love you anymore but you his jealousy isn’t enough to signify that he’s in love with you.
This kind of reasoning can lead to making some serious errors in love. Once again, this concerns both men and women; you think that you have your ex under your thumb and you consequently don’t make efforts to keep the seduction alive. Even worse, you might be changing your attitude and this could be affecting the rapport between you.
Jealousy isn’t only brought about by feelings associated with being in love. It’s often the person’s ego; meaning your ex’s pride, that causes it. Your ex isn’t necessarily still in love but seeing you with another person sets him off, creates an electroshock, and it makes him come back around. In certain cases, even if you’ve been separated for years, even just hearing that your ex is seeing another man can make you think and start questioning things.
You should never rush and think that their feelings have returned overnight. Take your time and if his return and his jealousy is making you feel good, you shouldn’t immediately give him another chance thinking that everything is starting over with the snap of your fingers.
It’s important to point this out because a lot of people just want to make their ex jealous no matter what. Sometimes it’s effective, but other times it doesn’t work because seeing you with another man makes your ex decide to move on. So be careful to not make this mistake.
How to react to your ex’s jealousy
When an ex is jealous you don’t quite know what to do. It’s perfectly normal to feel slightly confused when faced with his behavior, but you can do the right thing. You generally have two solutions: one, that you agree to play his game and you decide to no longer see other men.
Yes, it’s proof that you still care about him and you want him to be the one that returns. You don’t want to be in another relationship but the only slightly negative thing is that this looks a lot like emotional dependence. You’re making it look like your ex controls your life and you’re not even together anymore.
Two, as you’ve probably already figured out, is the complete opposite. You make even more distance between you. You can of course be in contact, but this doesn’t hold you back from doing what you please.
You could do this on purpose to make him feel frustrated and show him that you’re aware of his outbursts, or you don’t care about what he thinks and you want to move on from your relationship.
When an ex gets back in touch or when realizing that my ex wants to see me again; it translates to good signs regarding your attempt at getting back together. However, you shouldn’t think that everything is back to normal and under control just because your ex is having jealous outbursts.
In fact the best thing would be to reinforce it, using precise well-thought-out actions that I can explain to you in full detail in a coaching session.
The coach to trust when realizing that my ex is jealous