There’s nothing worse than trying to get your ex out of your head, all the while wondering, “how to forget my ex boyfriend” or “how to forget my ex girlfriend”. Despite the breakup, thoughts of your ex are still ever-present. You dream about them, you revisit all the memories you shared and everything that reminds you of how much you cared (and still care) for this person.
You’re wondering why you’re so attached and why you can’t stop thinking about them, but you haven’t found the answer. You’re thinking of all the people that have successfully moved on and you want to do the same. Well, the good news is that the coaching team at withmyexagain.com is here to help. In this article, we’ll talk about lots of things, and hopefully covering any thoughts you’re having that go something like “help me forget my ex”, “how do I forget about my ex for good” or “how to I forget my ex to get them back”.
A lot of you reading this article may not want the same thing, in truth maybe because many of you want to just forget your ex, while others want to eventually get them back. Regardless of the bucket you’re in, I’m confident that you’ll some insight and a few helpful tips to forget your ex, including if you don’t want to forget them but rather you want to rebuild your relationship while forgetting about the mistakes made in the past.
This is perfectly normal so in fact the reason why you can’t forget about your ex is pretty straightforward! However if you want to get a head start on the process of getting back together you’re going to have to get out of this situation. Why?
Because you won’t make any headway if you’re being haunted by thoughts of your ex and you’re twisting the knife in the wound by dwelling on the past.
So if you’re waking up every morning thinking, “how can I forget about my ex,” don’t worry because throughout this article, I am going to explain to you what you should do in order to either get back together with your ex, or to completely erase them from your mind.
My friends are also telling me to forget about my ex!
As I explain in an article about the influence of family members when trying to get back together with an ex, loved ones are often biased because they would prefer that you move on. They’re saying that your ex is an ex for a reason, and that you should move on so that you may find a new and more fulfilling relationship. What they often forget is that they’ve been in your position before. When they were in love they also tried to get back with someone they had felt they lost. In addition (and likely needless to say) your friends don’t know the true intricacies of your relationship.
They aren’t in the rooms with you during your highest of lowest points. If they do know about your intricacies, than that may be a problem in itself! When the relationship ends with you trying to get back with your ex or not, your relationship with your partner should be private. Telling friends can cause a lot of surrounding drama that can really affect any relationship, no matter how strong! But, the topic of mutual friends and ex’s is another article for another time ;).
Back to the point : Everyone at one point or another has tried to get back together with an ex. For some people it worked out great and for others it was a complete failure. In fact this might be the reason why your friends are telling you to “give up on your ex.” Maybe they were so hurt when their story didn’t work out that they want to protect you from going through the same pain.
However in these moments right after a separation you have to ask yourself pertinent questions and really figure out what exactly you want. Your decision is the most important. Of course you can always consult with your family and friends but you should never go against your own judgment. It’s perfectly normal to ask yourself questions, to have doubts… Who wouldn’t in such a situation? Knowing what exactly you want will help you to get rid of your biggest uncertainties.
Why forgetting your ex is not easy
All day long, as you’re at work, or in the shower, or while watching the latest episode of your favorite show, you’re just unable to concentrate because there is constantly something on your mind: you can’t get your ex out of your head. You know people that have been able to handle this type of situation really well and have gotten over their ex in no time. You are likely wondering why you aren’t one of those lucky ones who can “forget my ex” in the blink of an eye. This is a very challenging feeling, and we really empathize with your situation.
Unfortunately this isn’t the case for you and you’re thinking something more along the lines of “I feel like I’m obsessed with my ex.”
Whether it’s for positive or negative reasons, you’re constantly thinking about the past and you don’t know how to fix this so you’re thinking, “Why?” Some of you have maybe already met someone new, but regardless of the fact that things are going well between you you’re still thinking about your ex all the time.
That means that the relationship you’re currently in is more of a “Band-Aid relationship” than something serious and maybe you’re even trying to recreate the relationship you had before with this new person.
Do you dream of your ex, sometimes even have flashbacks and suddenly feel like your new partner is your ex? Do you sometimes even imagine you and your ex being intimate, only to wake up and remember that the breakup is real and that they aren’t beside you? If you have answered yes to ANY of these questions, then it’s time to do something because you’re just going to keep suffering and you risk ending up embarrassing yourself and can even jeopardize ever getting them back in the future.
If your relationship had been intense this is normal; even if years have passed and you’re still unable to say goodbye for good. You’ve shared a lot of things and despite the breakup, your memories of the relationship are positive.
One of the most blatant reasons behind the way you’re feeling right now is Love.
Thinking about your ex while you’re trying to forget my ex could also mean that your feelings haven’t disappeared and that you’re secretly hoping to get back together. You haven’t admitted it to yourself and maybe you even deny it when you’re talking to your friends, but deep down you’re still dreaming of being with your ex… (Who hasn’t ever secretly dreamed of being with their ex-partner again?.)
Keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to have trouble forgetting about someone you’ve had a serious relationship with. You’ve shared intimate moments, you’ve shared some special experiences, so of course you’re going to have a lot of memories.
Even people that have been married for 20 years still remember their first love story or their high school sweetheart.
However, if you are still wanting to get back with your ex rather than really trying to forget your ex and move on, there are a few questions you must ask yourself :
- Do I want my ex back rather than wanting to forget my ex because I am addicted to the highs and lows of the relationship?
- Do I want my ex back rather than wanting to forget my ex and move on because he or she makes me a better person?
- How can I forget my ex when I don’t believe there’s better partners out there?
- Will anyone love me like my ex?
- Do I want my ex back rather than wanting to forget my ex because we are a healthy and stable couple who deserves to iron this whole thing out?
Before desperately racing back to the, “No! I just want my ex back!” answer in you mind, make sure to really reflect on what you’re motives are. If you actually, in your gut, believe that the relationship wasn’t working, then accept it and try to begin forgetting.
Do I have to know how to forget my ex to try to get him/her back?
As I mentioned above, the fact that you’re still thinking about them means that your feelings for your ex haven’t disappeared and that maybe you’re ready to start the process of trying to get back together.
For many men and women, a breakup is like an electroshock, and the distance between you that follows only helps to confirm how deep your feelings are for this person.
In love it’s very important to never have regrets, and even if you’ve broken up multiple times in the past, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t meant for one another. You shouldn’t give up too quickly but rather take the time to ask yourself some serious questions and figure out if getting back together is what you truly want. You will then have to design the perfect plan of action.
When you truly want to give a relationship another chance, it’s important to not stay focused on the problems you may have had while you were together. So instead of thinking, “how can I forget about my ex” it’s better to focus on the best way to get them back so that you can make new memories and make up for the past.
Is Forgetting My Ex Going to Make me Feel Better?
The first question to ask yourself is this: Why should I forget my ex if I still have feelings for them?
After a painful breakup the consequences are always difficult and therefore hard to accept. Despite the fact that the circumstances weren’t perfect, (because crises and fights had to have been frequent enough to result in a breakup,) your ex was with you every day and you didn’t experience much solitude.
Maybe you had even built a family, so things are so different now. Some people tend to minimize the seriousness of the breakup but in order to surmount it in the fastest way possible and get over a breakup the right way, you must be aware of what this means.
Sometimes a breakup feels like liberation. After an overly complicated relationship, months of tensions, (I am referring to couples in going through a divorce that has become war,) breaking up for good definitely seems like the best option.
Nevertheless there are relationships that can leave traces. It’s hard to move on to something else after having experienced something intense in which you had fulfilling exchanges at its core.
Talking about your ex and the story you shared using the past tense appears like the perfect solution. You’ll be able to meet someone new and to stop thinking about the tough memories that have been haunting you. This will help you to bounce back and to move forward. It’s hard to turn the page and move forward if you’re always looking to your past.
I want to forget my ex. Where do I start? Here are a few steps:
If forgetting your ex is the best solution for moving on, you have to be aware of the techniques to use in order to reach your goal. Of course the desire and determination to succeed is necessary but they’re not going to be quite enough. This is precisely why the help and guidelines of an expert in matter of the heart would be indispensable.
Help for rebuilding yourself and forgetting your ex.
The very first thing to do if you really want to get your ex out of your head and rebuild yourself is to chase them out of your thoughts little by little. Everything depends on you; you’re the one who will be able to change the course of action. As I said, a breakup can leave its mark and can lead to roadblocks that will affect the future of your love life. If you’re familiar with my philosophy, you know why self-confidence and rebuilding yourself are such important steps after a separation.
Being in this situation is nothing to be ashamed of so you should never feel like you’re powerless. Everyone ends up in these shoes at least once in their life. There have been many before you, and there will be many after you as well. Focus on only yourself for a moment…
By using self-motivation techniques and exercises in self-confidence you’ll rediscover yourself and become a new version of yourself. No more sadness and negative thoughts! By becoming aware of your potential you’ll boost your morale and stop focusing on your ex partner.
Develop your own hobbies
When you’re in a relationship, your tend to spend less time with your friends and family, which is normal, even if some people take it too far and don’t see anyone else at all. Spending time with the person you love isn’t something to be ashamed of. You share passions, you discover new things and places together, you act as a couple and you now want to give this exchange another chance.
That said, after a breakup it’s imperative that you develop new habits. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you should stop living! It’s in fact even more of a reason to live to the fullest!
You therefore have to continue going out, and rebuild a group of friends in order to fight off solitude and to not sink into depression linked to love. Focus on your passions and spend time with your loved one; make up for lost time! Expanding your social circle by meeting new people is the best way to make sure that loneliness doesn’t control your life.
To summarize, occupy your thoughts with new things as much as you can so that you can stamp out the negative ones.
Cutting ties with your ex so that you can forget about them for good
In order to stop thinking about your ex, it’s not going to be enough to just say, “I want to forget my ex”. You’ll need radical methods as well. It’s true that since the beginning of this article I’ve been focusing on the sentimental aspect, but you’ll have to do some more direct actions as well. You can’t just settle for nights out with your friends or a few yoga sessions.
For surmounting a breakup, this might be enough, but in terms of today’s subject, your goal is to no longer think about your ex at all and to turn the page for good, letting go of the relationship, the breakup, and subsequently your ex. It’s important to take certain measures and they have to be pretty size-able.
So as soon as you finish reading, take your phone, delete their number, delete them off of Facebook and every other social network. You probably have photos of you together. You don’t necessarily have to destroy them if you don’t want to, but just put them somewhere where you won’t see them. Remember, the goal is to get rid of the “I want to forget my ex and move on” thoughts circling through your mind right now.
If you want to remove someone from your life, you have to remove all the elements that trigger thoughts of them. Don’t be afraid to be direct and don’t let yourself have any regrets! Even if you look like the bad guy (or girl) by doing this, you’re really going to change things and give yourself the opportunity to really feel better.
Cutting ties with your ex requires certain sacrifices and impactful actions that aren’t always pleasant. But when you want to move on from something you have to muster up all your courage so that you can feel better over the long run. If you don’t do this, you’ll risk suffering for a long time or worse still, you’ll yearn for their return that will never happen if you don’t take the proper initiatives.
If you feel your situation is unique or like you are really having a hard time forgetting your ex and getting them out of your head, I invite you to schedule a coaching session with me or my partners, Coach Natalie or Coach Alex. We are here to support you and to develop tailored game plans that will work for you. No matter what, we’re here.
Your coach for no longer thinking about your ex,