Interestingly enough, in all my years as a coach specialized in love and relationships, I’ve noticed that men and women have different ways of coping with heartache after breakups. Sometimes it’s hard for someone to gage whether or not their ex is suffering after the breakup took place because the ex in question copes with the emotions in a different way.
I am often asked by clients to shed some light on how to tell if their ex boyfriends are actually hurting as much as they are, and if there is any way to tell that he wants them back. That is why I wanted to write this article on signs he is hurt after breakup and what to look out for when you’re hoping that he misses you.
Some people hide their emotions whereas others put them on full blast, but if you’re reading this article right now it’s probably safe to say that your ex hasn’t been too clear about his feelings following your breakup. Right now, you’re probably wondering what’s going on in his head, and if there’s any chance of getting him back. Fortunately, anything is possible in love as long as you take the time to design the perfect action plan, so let’s take a look at what he’s feeling and how you can get closer to your goal of getting him back!
Women’s and men’s feelings after a breakup
When two people break up, there is a great surge of emotion ranging from pain, to anger, confusion, and deep sadness. We all process our emotions in different ways, and I’ve seen that men tend to do it a bit differently than women.
After a breakup, women, generally speaking, often have an easier time opening up to their friends and loved ones about the emotions they’re experiencing. Most women have a much easier time communicating and therefore navigating through their feelings.Discussing the situation grants them the opportunity to analyze the situation, understand what went wrong, and subsequently determine what needs to happen next… and this is something to keep in mind when I go over how to make the man you love gravitate back towards you.
Men’s feelings after a break up are very complex as well, but many men have an uncanny ability to bury these emotions and make it seem like they’re totally fine. In our society, men are taught that they need to be “tough” and “manly,” and that they shouldn’t show emotion. They need to act like the alpha male, so they learn to stifle their emotions. Most people don’t realize that they’re doing this, but some do make a conscious effort to hide their feelings away from the world.
I know that right now you’re probably wondering, “How does he feel after the breakup, and you wish you could read his thoughts. It’s true, that would make everything infinitely easier, but many people bottle their emotions up.
They’ll bury themselves in work, they’ll avoid talking about their feelings and the breakup, and they’ll keep it all hidden away from others.
So how can you know how guys feel after a breakup? Is your ex hurting at all? Does he think about you? Does he miss you?
Telltale signs he is hurt after a breakup
Right now, you’re probably not in much contact with your ex. You’re hurting, you’re missing him, and you’re wondering about what the future holds for you.
At this stage post-breakup, a lot of people in your position might try very hard to get in touch with their ex in an effort to find out what he’s thinking. They’ll try to call, text, email, or bring it up whenever they see him. The problem is that when a person doesn’t want to talk about their feelings, feeling forced like they have to will make them pull away even more.
After a breakup, a person can experience all kinds of emotions and the most recent memory they have of their ex isn’t necessarily a great one – it’s the breakup. You don’t want to keep bringing it up by asking how he’s feeling and if he’s hurting.
Instead, take a look at his actions.
If he avoids talking about it or bringing it up in conversation with you, he might be hurting after the breakup. Similarly, if you know that he hasn’t been talking to anyone else about it, he could be bottling it up.
I do want to take a moment to say that at this point, it is possible that he is suppressing his emotions on the subject. Many people, and in my experience it is often men, will try to distract themselves with nights out on the town with their buddies, spending a lot of time at the gym or playing sports, or burying themselves with work.
The issue with this type of behavior is that though the feelings might be suppressed for the time being, they will surge up later on down the line. When they do, the intensity of these emotions is even more acute.
If your ex is out all the time, meeting new girls, and seemingly having the time of his life now that he’s single, he might actually be trying to mask his feelings. Many guys’ behavior after a breakup looks like this, because it’s an easy way to distract from the pain of it all. Deep down however, they’re hurting.
Another telltale sign that he is hurt after a breakup is mean behavior. If he’s suddenly extremely unpleasant or mean to you, it could be his defense mechanism to keep his bruised ego and hurt feelings at bay.
You might have been thinking that if a a guy is hurt after a breakup, he’s going to cry and tell you how heartbroken he is, but that’s not always the case.
Sometimes what guys do after a breakup doesn’t really make it look like they’re hurting, when deep down they actually are. What guys feel after a breakup isn’t that different than what women feel after a breakup, but it isn’t always that easy to decipher.
Other times, their post-breakup pain will manifest in a different way, and you’ll see that they’re experiencing a lot of self-doubt. Breakups will bruise the egos of both people involved, and you might notice that your ex might lose some self confidence. You might notice that he keeps to himself or makes self deprecating comments whenever the breakup is brought up.
There are a couple other things to keep in mind when you’re wondering about men’s feelings after a breakup. If you pay close attention to his behavior, you can start to see whether or not he is beginning to regret letting you go…
Here are a few things to keep an eye out for when you’re wondering “Does he miss me?”
• He isn’t seeing or dating anyone else
• He’s told you flat out that he misses you
• He’s been flirting with you
• He’s been finding excuses to be in contact with you
• He keeps talking about you to the friends you have in common
• He talks to you about his regrets and what he should have done differently
• He talks about the future with you
What guys go through after a breakup: Making him miss you
As I said above, his most recent memories tied to your relationship aren’t too great because you’ve just broken up. It’s going to be up to you to give him reason to believe that a future with you is possible and that it will be different… It will be better !
If don’t think your ex regrets breaking up with you but you want him back, you’re going to have to give him an electroshock. I know it might sound scary, but we all know the expression, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s lost.”
We have extensive articles on the art of getting back together with an ex, but to get you started, here is what is going to happen from here on out:
• Present yourself in the best light possible. Become the absolute best version of yourself
• Show your ex that you’ve made improvements
• Make him or her realize that their life would be infinitely better with you in it
• Help your ex realize that you were meant for each other
• Spark the tiniest bit of jealousy in your ex
I know that this might sound daunting and confusing, but we specialize in getting people back together with their exes so if you’d like to dive deeper into the how-to’s, just click here.
As always, we are here to help. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with us directly by clicking this link, or by leaving your question in the comments section below. We would be more than happy to personally respond to you.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach for recognizing the signs he is hurt after a breakup
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!