The waves of emotions a person can feel after a breakup are easily enough to keep you up all night. Though it is completely normal to lose sleep during a period of heartache, it can be extremely frustrating. I’ve worked with so many people who have told me that it is most painful when you’re trying to fall asleep at night. When it is quiet and there is nothing to distract you from these negative thoughts, the pain of the breakup can feel insurmountable.
That is why I wanted to write this article for you today on what to do when you can’t sleep after a breakup. It is important to be able to get some rest so that you can have the energy to bounce back. In this article I will give you five tools to help you sleep after a break up. Whether you want to get back together with your ex or not, these tools will help you.
Why can’t I sleep after a breakup?
A difficult breakup is one of the most painful things that a person can experience in their lifetime. The emotions that you are faced with are comparable to what a person feels when mourning the loss of someone. A break up is in essence the death of something that was very precious to you, so the feelings involved are definitely going to feel very intense.
The most frustrating thing about it is that all of these emotions are so draining, that you would think that you’d sleep like a rock night… But nope, these thoughts and feelings choose those quiet moments when you’re trying to drift off to sleep to become the loudest. Why is that?
Well, it’s simply because there are no distractions that can take your mind off the things you don’t want to think about. Its discouraging and it makes it dangerously easy for your thoughts to spiral and make you feel worse than before.
So when you were thinking, “I can’t eat and can’t sleep since the breakup, and I’m feeling worse and worse,” we need to find a solution. So let’s take a look!
What to do when you can’t sleep after a breakup: 5 tools
Before we dive in, I want to take a moment to remind you that this is temporary. I know it feels so heavy and perhaps it feels like you can’t shake it, but this difficult period will pass. What’s more, it is in your power to make it pass sooner than you thought possible.
How to tire yourself out: Physical exercise
One of the most straightforward ways to sleep better when your mind is swimming in negative thoughts that keep you awake at night, is to focus on physical exertion.
If you can’t sleep after a breakup, I encourage you to go on long runs. The more you can get your heart rate up and sweat, the more you can release tension in your body and your mind. In addition to this, you can trigger the release of endorphins which make you feel happier.
If you’re not a runner, there are plenty of other ways that you can get exercise as well. And I want to stress the importance of finding something that really makes you sweat. Going for walks is a good way to get some fresh air and I recommend doing this on a regular basis, but if you are having trouble sleeping at night, a powerful workout can help remedy the problem.
So think about what kind of exercise would interest you! Have you ever tried dancing salsa or even hip hop? What about boxing, paddle boarding, or power yoga? There’s cycling, swimming, tap dancing… the list goes on and on and possibilities are endless! It’s up to you to find a way to move your body, sweat, get your heart rate up, and tire yourself out with physical exercise.
Insomnia after break up: Meditation
When you can’t sleep after a break up, another tool to try is meditation. A lot of people feel that meditation might be too abstract or that they don’t know how to keep their mind from wandering, but with a little bit of practice I assure you that you can do it.
My suggestion is to begin in a group setting. This allows you to get a feel for how it works, and guided meditation with a teacher can help you to remain focused. They can teach you about how to use the breath as a tool for remaining in control of your thoughts, and this is something that can help you at any point throughout your day when you feel your thoughts begin to spiral.
Once you get the hang of it, it is actually something that you can do anywhere. It is a powerful tool to help you get in control of your thoughts when they feel like they’re taking over and sending you down the rabbit hole.
When you are crying after a breakup or simply can’t sleep, I encourage you to go on YouTube and look up guided meditation to help you sleep. I suggest finding a video earlier in the day that you can just play when you feel like you need it instead of spending time searching through videos on YouTube in the middle of night.
What to do after a break up when you can’t sleep: Music
One of the simplest tools to help a person sleep better is finding soothing music. We all have different musical tastes, but you can find plenty of playlists on YouTube or on Spotify that are specifically designed to help you relax and sleep better.
You could even make your own playlist. It’s so easy to underestimate the power of music, but if it is something that can conjure so many emotions, it is also something that can soothe you and help you drift off to sleep.
By the way, if any of you have songs that you feel help you to feel relaxed, please share them in the comments section below so that others can benefit from it as well!
I don’t eat and I don’t sleep since we broke up: Yoga Nidra
If you practice yoga you might have heard of this meditation practice. When you are suffering from a break up and you can’t sleep, it’s because your thoughts are spiraling and you’re experiencing intense emotional turmoil.
Yoga Nidra is a meditative process that is designed to put you in a state that is close to sleep. The person leading the practice will help you to center and focus by bringing your attention to each part of your body.
By guiding you through detailed focus, you relax and remain grounded in your presence – therefore warding off unwelcome thoughts.
There are some wonderful videos on YouTube for “Yoga Nidra for sleep,” and I highly recommend trying them out when you are ready to just off to sleep.
No appetite after breakup and can’t sleep: Paying attention to your diet
I know that when a person is suffering from a break up, it is not unusual for them to lose their appetite. So sometimes you’ll just snack or have some coffee throughout the day to help you after a restless night…
But there are certain things to avoid in your diet if you want to sleep better – the main ones being caffeine and sugar.
Though you may not be hungry, when you do eat I highly encourage you to avoid things high in sugar… and though you aren’t sleeping well and are tired the next day, be careful with drinking too much caffeine because it can actually keep you up at night – especially when you feel like you’re in a vulnerable state of mind. If you definitely need a caffeine boost in your day, opt for green tea instead of coffee.
Not sleeping after a breakup: Reach out to us
We are a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, and we are here to give you one-on-one guidance. If you need a helping hand through the healing process or if you’re trying to figure out what to do next, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
We can provide you with tools and techniques, as well as targeted advice, to help you reach the other side of this period as quickly as possible.
Wishing you all the best in and love,
Your coach when you can’t sleep after a breakup
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!