It’s never easy to go through a breakup because your entire world feels like it’s falling apart… Especially when it came as a surprise (which is usually the case.) Even if you’ve gone through a rough patch and you feel that your relationship isn’t as solid as it was before, you think that time will heal everything and that you shouldn’t panic.
You don’t think about breaking up and you don’t think that the person you’re with would change their mind about being with you. Unfortunately, we often realize how bad things really were when your partner announces to you that this relationship can’t go on and that the problems have become too big to fix.
The reaction to this news is typically the same, whether you’re a man or a woman. Sadness, anger, bitterness and sometimes even hopelessness become so powerful that you have trouble thinking of anything else.
Each person has their own unique reaction but most people reading this article feel more disheartened that anything and it’s completely understandable.
No one expects to go through this after having been together for an extended period of time, whether the relationship was tight-knit or not. It doesn’t matter if tensions had been present for a while; the sadness you feel now is profound.
When I’m coaching people, they often say to me, “I cried in front of my ex… Is that bad? What should I do now?” After a breakup, it’s common to think that displays of your feelings serve as proof of how deep your love is, and that it’s therefore something positive.
In truth, it’s important to understand that this isn’t how you’re going to get your ex back… If you’re familiar with my philosophy, you know that this is one of the interdictions of getting back together, and if you haven’t heard of this before I invite you to read this article ASAP.
That said, crying in front of your ex doesn’t mean that it’s going to be impossible to get them back. So don’t worry; I’ll explain the best course of action to take to you!
I cried in front of my ex and I don’t even know why?
Of course the first answer to why you cried in front of your ex that comes to mind is sadness. You’ve got some very strong feelings, you love this person and you can’t accept the fact that you lost them. You can’t imagine your future without your ex, and this is totally normal. You weren’t expecting something like this to happen.
When you’re in a relationship that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, you don’t wake up in the morning thinking about breaking up so your tears are completely understandable under such circumstances.
You might have some regrets as well, and when you take a step back and put things into perspective you realize that the person you love wasn’t as happy as you thought.
Fear can also be something that explains the reason behind why you break down and fall apart in front of your ex. Being single is frowned upon in today’s day and age despite the 15 million French people that aren’t in a relationship.
You want to have someone by your side, you want a family, and you don’t want to the person that shows up alone to important events. The idea of being alone makes you panic. On top of that you’re going to feel like everyone is judging you, and as you feel responsible for the separation all of this is just going to twist the knife in the wound.
Even if I explain that crying in front of your ex or allowing yourself to suffer are unacceptable whether you want your ex back or not, I can completely understand why you would do this for a short period of time right after the breakup. Nevertheless, it’s important to get back on the horse as quickly as possible.
Crying in front of your ex isn’t the end of the world but…
I know that most of the people reading this article have one thing on their mind: getting back together with their ex! You don’t want your relationship to end like this, and you don’t want the person you love to view you as someone weak or overly sensitive.
You want to give them a new image of yourself, to steal their heart again and to be in a solid and fulfilling relationship, and (on a slightly more selfish yet understandable note,) stop suffering. You see your ex’s return as the solution to your problem, the key to your happiness, and you begin working on getting back together.
It’s going to be very important to rebuild your self-confidence.
When people come to me saying, “Adrien, I cried in front of my ex!” my response is, “Ok, it’s not a big deal as long as you change your behavior right away. We’re going to make things right but the red eyes and the tears stop here.”
It’s crucial to show your ex that you’re strong if you want to give them a new image of yourself and more forward. In order to do so you’ll have to work on being happy with yourself and take your ex off of that pedestal. There are precise techniques for just that and I reveal them in this eBook.
Some of these tools are self-motivation exercises, personal reconstruction, and self-improvement. For example, look at yourself in the mirror every single morning and give yourself a compliment. Take a piece of paper and write down something positive about yourself, and when you’re feeling down, force yourself to smile!
I know this sounds weird but with time, you’ll see how effective it really is.
Impose yourself and don’t let your ex cause you pain anymore
So maybe you cried in front of your ex but this is part of the past now! Now you have to stop focusing on yesterday and set your sights on tomorrow. Yes it was a mistake but it’s not the worst thing you could ever have done, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to get your ex back.
Now you need to focus on showing your ex that you’re changing and improving. You don’t go from tears to a happy relationship in one day, so you need to take the time to show your ex a real evolution. A helpful tip: Keep a big smile on your face.
When you have the tendency to talk to your ex about the breakup and burst into tears, they could see that as serious emotional dependence. Begging is a telltale sign of this phenomenon, especially if you’ve thrown declarations of your undying love in there. To change all of this, you’re going to have to work on properly expressing yourself.
Look your ex straight in the eyes, speak louder and more confidently, and don’t be ashamed of what you’re feeling.
Stand tall when you face your ex. Show them that you’re self-assured and that you had just gone through a rough patch that you can get through together.
The coach to call if you teared up in front of my ex