When you go through a breakup, you experience a whirlwind of emotions that range from shock and heartbreak to anger and even fear. The person you love is no longer by your side and the pain of it can feel unbearable. Your first instinct is probably to try everything in your power to get closer to him and repair the damage so that you can undo the breakup. This is when we are at the highest risk for making mistakes that can actually push a person further away.
Today’s article is going to be about how to make someone come back by giving them space. If you’ve been wondering, “Will he come back if I let him go,” the answer is yes… but only if you do the actions I am going to go over in this article. It is not enough to sit back and wait for someone to come back, and you are in control of more than you might realize! So let’s take a look at how to make him want to come back!
Will he miss me if I leave him alone: The deciding factor
The most important thing to keep in mind right now is that all of the emotions involved in a break up can make it dangerously easy to make mistakes. This is usually when I see people beg and plead with their ex to take them back and to give this relationship a second chance. Unfortunately, this is the exact type of thing that pushes someone to further away!
The more you suffocate your ex with needy and clingy behavior, the harder it will be make them see you in a new light!
The good news is that you are already aware of this. You have gone out of your way to find information on the best way to make your ex-boyfriend come back, and you have started to realize that distance might be the best thing.
Many people panic at the prospect of letting an ex go because they’re terrified of losing them forever. They think that somehow, their ex is going to forget about them overnight and move on, never once looking back. I have been a love and relationship coach for many years now, and I can confidently tell you that love doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t just disappear overnight, especially if you had been in a long term relationship with the person you love.
So when it comes to letting someone go so that they come back, you are going to have to prioritize reinforcing your self confidence (because the ego takes quite a hit after a breakup), and make a pact with yourself to become ACTIVE. And I don’t just mean physically active – I am talking about taking matters into your own hands and making an effort to make concrete changes in your life. This is the deciding factor that dictates whether or not an ex will be likely to come back after you let them go!
So, sitting around at home, eating ice-cream and binge watching Netflix is not going to make him come back. Passively waiting for things to happen and feeling sorry for yourself will actually just make it easier for him to think, “Oh, I made the right choice in breaking up with her, her life seems miserable.”
Which of course is the exact opposite of what we want! We want your ex to look at you and think, “Wow, she looks like she’s having so much fun, she looks so happy and healthy and her life looks really exciting… Did I make a mistake in letting her go?”
Once that seed of doubt is planted, very interesting things will start to happen.
So if you’re wondering, “If I let him go, will he come back,” let’s take a look at how the psychology behind it works and how to plant that seed that will increase the odds that he will!
Will he come back to me if I let him go: Why this works
If you let him go, and really start to focus on yourself, the overwhelming odds will be that he will come back simply because he will have recognized that this break up did not break YOU. In fact, it served as a catalyst for very important change in your life, and you are now becoming the new and improved version of the person he fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship.
If you are familiar with our philosophy, then you know how important this concept is. When you want someone to come back to you, you have to present yourself in a new light. Your ex is not going to want to step back into the same relationship with you because you both already know how it ended.
So I know you’re wondering, “Does he miss me” and “How to get him back,” and the key to success is to take a step back and put some space between you so that you can make a stronger comeback!
Letting someone go works because of these factors:
• It shows that you are not clingy
• It shows that you are not needy
• You are handling the situation with grace instead of desperation
• It gives you the opportunity to take a step back and get organized in your action plan
• It surprises your ex because he might be expecting you to beg and plead
• It give you a platform for making changes that will spark his curiosity and make him gravitate back towards you!
If you think about male psychology, men value the hunt. When things are easily accessible to them, they tend to value them less, and this is true for both men and women.
Men love the hunt and they will gravitate towards exciting challenges. If you hand everything to him on a silver platter and allow yourself to be at his beck and call, or worse still, beg and plead with him to take you back, you’re only going to push him away. I explained this to Alexis just this morning, when she called to ask me, “Will he come back if I let him go?”
Letting someone go shows them that your world does not revolve around them, and that you are taking care of yourself and making your life better than ever. A person who loves their life attracts others like moths to a flame, and your ex is no exception!
Will he come back if I let him go: How to make it work!
So, some people say that if it’s meant to be, it will be, but I am someone who believes that sitting back and waiting around is not going to get you the results that you want.
If you want him to come back, you have to use the time and space you put between you wisely!
Now is the perfect time to think about what elements of your personal life got neglected while you were in a relationship with this person, and start filling up your schedule with people and activities that make you happy. Instead of fixating on all the questions swimming around in your head about how he feels, the best think you can do is start challenging yourself to really focus on how you can make your life better.
Think of the hobbies, passions, and people that got neglected while you were in the relationship and start making time for them again. Think about what kind of new personal and professional goals you can set for yourself and start working towards meeting these goals every single day! Get physically active or switch up your work out routine so that you can release endorphins and boost your energy levels.
Make sure you use social media to your advantage and post pictures of all the fun and exciting things you’ve been doing while you’ve been out of touch.
In many cases, a tool like the no contact rule is actually the best bet, and for more information on this powerful technique, I highly recommend reading this article on how to use the no contact rule. Just keep focusing on yourself, don’t pursue your ex, let him come to you after the breakup, and you will start to shift the dynamic so that he sees you in a positive light. Once you plant the seed of doubt regarding his choice to leave, he will start to come back!
I know that each situation is unique and you probably have questions about how to approach your situation, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or a member of my team by clicking here for one on one guidance. You can also leave any questions you might have in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
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