Getting back together with an ex boyfriend is no easy feat, and I know that you are aware of this. There is a constant battle between what your heart is telling you to do and what your mind is telling you to do. Even when your mind knows that certain behavior isn’t the right way to go, the emotions stemming from your heart are so strong that it becomes very hard to control them. It is not uncommon for people to end up damaging their chances of getting back together with their ex without even realizing it.
That is why I wanted to write an article today on one very powerful technique… People are often afraid to use it even though their mind is telling them that it will work. When you want an ex back, one of the absolute best things you can do is to actually make him think he has has lost you. This is when things become very clear to your ex and they realize that letting you go was a mistake.
However, in order to do this properly and to ensure that this works, there are a few important things that you need to make sure you are doing. I’ll go over those as well, and you’ll see that things will start to change for the better!
Make him think he has lost you: Why does this work?
People are afraid to use this method because they think, “If I make him think he lost me, then he’ll move on and forget all about me!!”
When you were in a committed relationship with someone, feelings don’t just disappear overnight. Love, affection, and the memories you shared with someone run deep. Sure, some people try to bury them and pretend they aren’t there, but one day they will resurface.
There is always a reason for a breakup, and your ex is feeling all kinds of different emotions right now – most of which are probably negative. What’s more, he knows that you’re hurting too and that you’re probably miserable at home right now.
Truth be told, you’ve probably spent some time holed up at home feeling miserable. You’ve just gotten your heart broken, so it’s normal that you would be feeling awful and maybe even a bit antisocial. It’s OK to need a little time to yourself to put things back together, but don’t let this period last too long. We’ve got work to do!
Right about now, your emotions are probably telling you to make sure your ex knows how much you love him and still want to be with him. You may have already gone out of your way to communicate this to him, or you might have even begged and pleaded with him to take you back. Perhaps you’ve even tried to make him feel guilty for leaving you.
The thing is, we don’t want him to feel guilty because this leads to pity… and you don’t want someone taking you back out of pity. No, you want someone asking for you back because they don’t want to live another day without you by their side!
If you really want to make him regret leaving you, you have to make him think he has lost you for good. The more you actively try to get him back by begging and pleading, or maybe even harassing, the further he will pull away.
The reason this works is very simple. You see, human beings have a terrible tendency of taking things for granted. Whenever something is handed to us easily, we cherish it less. On the other hand, if it presented a challenge and we had to work for it, we will consider it as being much more important.
Let me give you a simple example. Chocolate. Who doesn’t like chocolate, right? Imagine you had a bar of your absolute favorite chocolate in the whole wide world. Mine is a Belgian creamy milk chocolate by Côte d’Or with caramelized almonds and fleur de sel…
Imagine that you suddenly had an endless supply of it. At first you’d think, “Cool! I get to have my chocolate all the time!” But what would begin to happen if you had it every single day? If you got to eat it every single day, would it still be as delicious as the first time you had it? No, and in fact, you might even get bored of it. You’d stop eating it but you’d rest assured knowing that you still had an endless stock. Then suddenly someone takes it all away and you find out that you can never have it ever again! What would happen then?
At first you might think, “Well, OK whatever. I don’t really want anymore right now because I had my fill of it. I got a little tired of all the sugar…” But then as time goes on, you start to develop a craving for it. It was so good… You start to notice the commercials on TV for it and it looks better than ever. Maybe you should have cherished it a bit more while you could still have it and you wish that you could have it back…
So for our purposes, you are obviously the chocolate!
Your ex has gotten a bit of a sugar overdose lately because you’ve been so present. He hasn’t had to worry about losing you because you’ve shown him that you’re always there for him when he feels like talking to you or seeing you… Simply put, it’s become easy for him to take you for granted.
So now it’s time to make him think that he’s losing you for good…
How to make him worry about losing you forever!
The most powerful tool you can use in this situation is the No Contact Rule. It is especially powerful when things had gotten a bit messy between you towards the end. If you aren’t familiar with this technique, it consists of cutting contact entirely with your ex boyfriend for a predetermined period of time. The timeline depends on how your breakup occurred, so I encourage you to click the link for more in depth information or to get in touch with one of us directly right here. We can help you to design the perfect plan of action depending on your specific situation.
During this period you don’t call, text, email, Facebook message, DM, or even try to run into your ex in public. This technique is also referred to as Radio Silence, and it’s important that you stick with it.
When he messages you, you are not to respond until your no contact period has come to a close. This is where you have to be very strict with yourself so that you don’t cave. It’s so easy to give in and reach out to him, or reply to a message that he send when he realizes you’re drifting away.
But keep in mind that he has to lose you to realize that he actually wants you in his life and will have to make an effort to get closer to you. If you immediately respond to anything he sends, he’ll be reassured that you haven’t gone anywhere and that you’ll be there whenever he feels like getting some attention from you.
We need to make him understand that you aren’t at his beck and call and that he may have lost a precious opportunity to be with you. Interestingly enough, a man will want you back the moment he begins to fear losing you.
So how do you make him fear losing you?
Well, while you are using the no contact rule, you must work on making your life better than ever. Think about what got put on the back burner while you were in the relationship, what areas of your life could use a boost, and how you can mend your self confidence after having undergone a breakup.
Get physically active or switch up your workout routines with new activities like spinning, yoga, or HIIT training. If you feel you could use it, now would be a great time to update your wardrobe or your look.
Do whatever you feel will help you feel more confident about yourself. Get involved in some volunteer work – helping the less fortunate also helps to make you feel better about making a difference, and it makes your own troubles feel smaller.
Fill up your schedule with fun activities that you can share with your friends and family. Check out new places in your city, go on weekend getaways, tackle projects that you haven’t gotten around to, redecorate your living space.
Keep your mind occupied with things that bring you joy, and it will be considerably easier to fight the urge to reach out to your ex. He will be aware of what you’ve been doing (through social media or mutual friends), and he’ll see that you’ve accepted the breakup and are moving on. When he sees how enticing your life looks, the seed of doubt will be planted.
You’ll start to see signs he thinks he’s losing you and he will begin to start trying to get closer to you.
Just remember, you’re not going to get him back by making him pity you. You’re going to get him back by making him realize that he’d be a fool to let you get away!
For more information on how to get your ex back, right this way!
Wishing you all the best
Your coach for how to make him realize what he lost
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!