There are different types of breakups. Sometimes a couple realizes that their relationship doesn’t correspond to what they had in mind, and they make a decision together to part ways. It’s also common knowledge that these types of breakups are uncommon! Most often, one person decides to break up with the other because their happiness, satisfaction, and needs are not being met.
In these conditions, I often hear the phrase, “my ex is The One and I want them back.” Since your breakup, you’ve realized that your ex is necessary for your balance and wellbeing, and that their absence is demoralizing. It’s simple; since they left anything and everything makes you think of them. You look at photos of you together, you watch your ex’s favorite show, you cook their favorite dish… You are certain that this is the person for you, and no one else even comes close.
It’s often when we lose someone that we realize how important the person really is to us. Emotional mourning is therefore even harder. If you know deep down inside that this person was “the love of my life,” you have to take things into your own hands and do everything to make the person come back, using the right techniques.
If you are still hesitant, this article will help you objectively analyze your emotions.
How can I be sure that my ex is The One?
It’s not easy to know if they really are The One, especially after a breakup. The reason is simple; you just underwent an emotional shock and your head might not be completely clear at the moment. You must prepare yourself to be as objective as possible. In order to do this, I highly suggest not to reach out to friends and family for advice because they are most often biased. They cannot be objective because in truth, you are their daughter, their sister, their cousin, or their friend and you are hurting.
Your loved ones aren’t necessarily going to help you make the right decision. They most often will say, “Forget them and move on,” or, “There are plenty of other fish in the sea!” They mean well, and they just want to protect you. They’re worried that you’re harming yourself and that you’re telling yourself that “My ex was The One for me” for the wrong reasons.
So how can you know if your ex was indeed the one?
In order to figure this out, you must ask yourself a few essential questions, the main one being if you were happy or not in your relationship. Then, based on your situation, you can ask yourself:
– Have I been attracted to anyone else?
– Why was my ex ideal?
– Is emotional dependence the reason behind why I want them back?
– What did I appreciate the most in my ex?
– Did we agree on important matters?
– Why did they decide to leave?
By answering these questions, you will be able to better analyze the reasons behind the separation and consequently it will be easier to determine if your ex really was the right person for you. If it is the case, you might be wondering if you should tell your ex, and how to make them understand.
My ex is The One but should I tell them?
You’ve analyzed the situation and your feelings, and you’ve come to the realization that “I’m crazy about my ex.” It seems clear and obvious that this is the right person for you; the one you’re meant to be with. You don’t know how to tell them because you’re worried about how your ex will react. This is valid and it’s not easy to offer you advice without knowing some more facts.
Do you know why?
Everything depends on the state of affairs. There is a certain context surrounding the entire situation to take into consideration. In some cases, you will easily be able to make this declaration. Of course it will have to be accompanied by actions as words are not enough, but even just saying these words to your ex will have a positive impact. A perfect example would be if your ex has accused you of never showing how you feel.
But, if you were very clingy and you tended to suffocate your ex, (maybe this is what led to your breakup,) you will want to avoid this subject for the moment as it could have a negative effect.
Whatever the case may be, actions take precedent over words. Of course you feel that “your ex was the one” and you want to tell them, but you must realize that it’s not enough to reignite the flame. You will also have to prove to your ex that you are the one for them.
How can I make my ex understand what I’m feeling?
In order to answer this question we need to look at things in reverse. Of course, if you’re thinking that your ex will come back to you simply because you love them, you’re mistaken! In fact, you shouldn’t be focusing on making your ex understand how you feel; you should take the opposite approach and show to your ex that you understand how they feel!
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t be made of stone either, but it’s imperative that your ex understands that there is room for happiness, and that it’s precisely because you have such strong feelings that everything can change.
If you are truly convinced that your ex is The One, you will have to show them that your relationship can turn a new corner because you want to give it another chance. It’s by showing your evolution and the effort you are ready to make that you will be able to show to your ex that a breakup isn’t the answer, and that love can flourish again between the two of you!
The adviser to call when you feel that your ex is The One.