I received an email from Emile this morning, asking if it’s possible to get back together with someone that you haven’t been with in years. He wanted to know if it was too late, if too much time has passed, and if there was anything he could do to get another chance with his ex. What if you don’t even live in the same city anymore, is it hopeless?
I wanted to write this article for those of you who have found themselves in this type of situation and are regretting a breakup years later. Many people just assume that if years have passed, then there is no sense in trying to get someone back so they don’t even try. Unfortunately, this results in a lot of missed opportunities and I’m here to tell you that time isn’t always a bad thing when it comes to getting back together. In fact, time is exactly what allows you to build a more solid foundation and make a powerful comeback when it comes to your ex.
It’s true that this is a particular situation, so I wanted to write an article that will help clarify things for you and point you in the right direction. As always, if you have any questions at all, don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below or get in touch with us directly right here. So without further ado, let’s dive right in!
Regretting a breakup years later: Is it too late?
As a coach specialized in getting people back together, I’m sure you can imagine how often I encounter people that want nothing more than to get back together right after the breakup, so they rush things, jump the gun, and subsequently damage the process. It’s always hard to practice patience and let time play an active role in the situation.
You, on the other hand, are in a very different situation. Years have passed since you and this person broke up, you have probably dated other people in the meantime, and now you’re realizing that you’re regretting the break up years later.Plenty of time has passed so you’ve been able to put things into perspective, you’ve probably evolved and grown, you’re probably living a very different life than what you were experiencing a few years back, but this one special person is still on your mind. So, is it too late?
As I began saying, timing isn’t always a deterring factor from the odds of success you could have in getting this person back. In fact, getting back together with someone isn’t so much about how much time has passed as it is about what you have to offer now. How different is the situation?
You see, breakups happen for a reason. Something wasn’t working and something needed to change. So now is the time to do some introspection and ask yourself what kind of changes you’ve made in your life. Have you identified what roadblocks your relationship was experiencing and do you feel confident that you can overcome those types of obstacles now?
Think about issues with communication, monotony, selfishness… Are you equipped to overcome these obstacles should they present themselves in the future in a relationship with this person? If the answer is yes, the odds are in your favor.
You know, you may not know this about me but my wife and I are happily married with a 4 year old daughter, and we actually separated for a few years before finding each other again. So trust me, I know it’s possible.
I know that right now you regret breaking up, but I don’t want you to think that there’s no way that you can get back together. Post breakup regret is nothing to be ashamed of, and I want you to know that you can still turn things around.
In fact, my colleague was telling me that his aunt had an interesting story as well. She was with her high school sweetheart until they broke up in her early twenties. She went on to marry someone else and have a child, but that relationship did not last.
After being single again for a few years, she reconnected with her high school sweetheart and guess what. They are now married and have a child together! They actually spent ten years apart, and it still came back together. So you see, it is entirely possible, even if you are regretting breaking up right now.
I broke up with my ex and I regret it: What do I do?
Whether you realize it or not, you have an advantage: Time.
Time allows for proper evolution to happen in both your lives, it allows you to get to know yourself better, to really become the best version yourself. These are crucial elements of getting and ex back and believe me, they do not happen overnight.
If you can confidently say that you’ve done what you needed to do in order to become the best version of yourself, it’s time to start getting close to your ex again. If you’re unsure of what changes and improvements need to be made and how you can go about doing so after a breakup, I encourage you to read this article on bouncing back form a break up.
As you get started, it’s crucial that you have the right mindset. Don’t go into it thinking of yourself as “The Ex.” You’re an entirely new person now, and you’re going to reset this thing!
When you are trying to rekindle with someone after so many years, you might have the tendency to keep bringing up the past and the fact that you two were together before. What I’m about to tell you might come as a surprise, but ideally, you shouldn’t think about the past too much.
Instead, focus on showing this person who you are today! What you bring to the table now, how much you’ve changed and how much happier you are with your life now. Inspire them to want to partake in your current life instead of always bringing up the past.
Right now, you want to capitalize on the butterflies. They are a new person now as well! Even if you were together for years and years, and you’ve been separated for years and years! They are a brand new person now, just like you. You can now use that flirtation and that fun, playful energy to get closer and spark more attraction between you.
Don’t go in there saying, “We’ve already done all this.” That chapter ended and you’re starting a brand new, blank page right now. You can’t assume that if you get back together, you can just plop back into your routine with this person. No, you need to get excited about the new chase, the new attraction and game of seduction.
The fist step before all else is going to be to reestablish a healthy dialogue if you haven’t done so already. You can send them a message just to see how they’ve been. That can evolve into grabbing a coffee together to catch up, where you reveal the new and improved you!
If right now you’re thinking, “I broke up with him and I regret it” or “All these years later I still regret letting her go,” now is the time to take action. You miss 100% of the shot you don’t take, right?
So I encourage you to start reading up on how to get an ex back on this site and get started with the process! You have more of an advantage than you might think, so take advantage! There are plenty of tools at your disposal for getting back in contact with an ex, re-attracting them, and reestablishing a relationship with the person you still love!
As I said at the beginning, we are here to help. If you are still unsure about whether or not it’s possible to get your ex back or how you should go about doing it, just reach out. It would be our pleasure to help you navigate these waters and find ultimate happiness!
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you’re regretting a breakup years later
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!