When you’re trying to get back together with an ex, the intensity of your feelings can sometimes lead to making mistakes. You have good intentions; you want to put the pieces back together, you want to once again have the one you love by your side, and you want to be happy together once again.
In this situation, the love that you’re feeling is pushing you to force things and to try to accelerate the process of getting your ex back. Unfortunately, even if your heart is in the right place, it doesn’t guarantee the success of your endeavor. If this wasn’t the case, you wouldn’t be needing my help and analyses. One simple text message would be enough to get back together with your ex…But things aren’t that simple.
By trying to rush things or by verbalizing things to never say to an ex, you risk damaging the situation. These mistakes can put you at a disadvantage and postpone getting back together. It’s imperative that you stay on track in order to avoid another disappointment. In order to do this you have to be aware of what not to say, and that’s exactly what you’ll find in this article!
Things to never say to an ex no matter what
The interdictions of making your ex want you back are principals that you need to be aware of. These are things to avoid at all costs! After the one you love leaves you, it’s hard to know how to act, what to avoid doing or saying, because things aren’t always clear. This unfortunately sometimes leads to making decisions that are far from good. As in all things in life, it’s always easier to make mistakes than to mend things that are already broken, or to do things that make a good impression.
Of course, it’s easier to plead with your ex to take you back than to design precise actions in order to make them want to return. However the failure to do so could very well result in never getting back together.
In fact, begging your ex to come back is the very first interdiction that I’d like to talk about. Showing emotional dependence, stemming from an emotional need, will not help you. Acting like this will result in the opposite of what you want, as the person will want to pull even further back. Think about it this way:
Who is attracted to desperation?
This is exactly what your ex will think and the consequence is often rejection, plain and simple, or the suggestion of “just friendship.” Of course friendship with an ex is always a good thing, but if you’re reading this article, I think it’s safe to say that you want more than that!
Next up, another thing that one should never say regarding an ex is, “He or she is so much better than me and I am nothing without them.” This is a way of thinking that you should absolutely avoid, because you’re putting them on a pedestal. Just because you were the one that was broken up with doesn’t mean that your ex is better than you are, so if you want him or her back, you have to stop thinking like this immediately.
How to avoid doing something stupid regarding your ex!
From here on out, you’re looking for a method to avoid doing something stupid regarding your ex. The technique to use is called Radio Silence.
RS is great for a variety of reasons. Not only will you steer clear of saying something hurtful to your ex, by cutting ties you’ll be able to make them miss you. You’ll also avoid making mistakes in the way you communicate with the one you love.
It’s always imperative to respect RS if you want it to be effective. Many people make the mistake of not taking advantage of their time during RS to work on themselves, and they simply wait for something to happen. You have to use this time to rebuild yourself, by traveling, getting exercise, revamping your professional life, and by designing a plan of action to reach your goal. Your game plan is the key to reconstruction and the rebirth of something new.
A problem that I see very often when I am coaching is that people only employ RS halfway. By this I mean that men and women that reach out to me have made the decision to cut ties, which is good, but then they don’t stick to it all the time. This is completely counter-productive. For example, they’ll wait day and night for a message from their ex so that they can immediately respond. Remember, the point is to entirely break contact!
Even if you do little things that don’t totally break RS, for example ‘liking’ a picture on Facebook, sending a little text here and there, it can throw a wrench in your plans.
The reason is very simple, and there’s nothing worse than a half-hearted attempt at Radio Silence. You really do have to go all the way and cut contact completely, and when you do, don’t go back on your word. If your RS isn’t done properly, the first problem is that your ex won’t have the chance to miss you; he or she won’t wonder what you’ve been doing, and will know that you’ll come back sooner or later. The second problem is that you won’t have the opportunity to take time for yourself, to rebuild and to grow, and to plan the best possible plan of action.
Your coach for knowing what to never say to an ex.