The feelings that grow and develop in a relationship can become very deeply rooted. Love takes time to develop and once it’s in you, it inevitably takes a fair amount of time before it begins to dissipate. When you go through a breakup and you lose the person you love, the feeling of love does not just disappear overnight.
So even if a lot of time has passed, you may find yourself wondering, “Why do I still love him?” Though it can be frustrating for variety of reasons, it is a perfectly natural emotional response. In today’s article, I would like to give you some insight as to why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, but also what you can do to start feeling better. I will also go over some of the key steps to follow if you are hoping to get back together with this person. So let’s dive right in!
Why do I still love him so much?
I know that at this point, you’re probably wondering, “Is it normal that I still love him so much?”
The feeling of loss that a person experiences after a breakup can be compared to what one feels while mourning. The breakup is in essence the death of your hopes and dreams for a future with someone. You lose something very precious to you, so of course it’s very difficult to let go.
As a love and relationship coach, I work with people on a daily basis who are suffering from heartache in love. I understand the pain that you’re dealing with currently, especially because it is one of the most painful things a person can go through in their life.
While working with people, I tend to see that they get frustrated when they are still in love with someone when they feel like they shouldn’t be anymore. Maybe a lot of time has passed, maybe their ex did something unforgivable, but they still feel love and it frustrates them. As I was saying in the introduction to this article, Love is a powerful emotion that takes time to develop… and it takes time to fade away.
If you are trying to heal from heartbreak, getting frustrated with yourself for your emotions is not going to help. The healing process requires a lot of patience and it’s very important that you prioritize well-being.
So even if you’re frustrated about the fact that you’re still in love with him, there are plenty of things to do that can help you to switch your focus to yourself.
What to do when you are still in love with an ex
Whether you are thinking, “Why do I love him” or “How can I still love him after he cheated,” most important thing right now is to focus on your own well-being. When your heart is broken it can be dangerously easy to want to isolate yourself and neglect important elements of your life.
When you are letting go of relationship and your ex-boyfriend (whether you want him back or not!) you have to focus on YOU.
The best thing you can start doing right away is to get yourself active. The more time you spend alone doing nothing, the easier it is to dwell on your emotions and allow your thoughts to spiral. But if you are busy, then negative thoughts don’t have the opportunity to take over! So when you are in love with your ex boyfriend (or girlfriend), I encourage you to think about how you can start filling your schedule with activities that bring you joy.
A lot of the time when a person settles into a relationship and it becomes the center of their universe, they start to lose track of or neglect their personal life. Hobbies, passions, projects, friends and family members all get placed on the back burner. When the breakup happens, the person can feel even worse because their life feels empty now.
So I encourage you to take a piece of paper and write down all the things that used to make you happy that you have stopped doing. Carve out time in your schedule to reintroduce these elements.
In addition to this, starting thinking about what kinds of new activities could bring into your schedule. The more physically active you are the better, because this releases endorphins and serotonin – both of which make a person feel better and more energetic. The more active you are, the easier it gets to clear your mind of thoughts that are bringing you down!
When you were thinking, “I still love my ex,” it’s easy to want to be on your own to try and deal with these emotions, but I encourage you to make sure that you spend ample time with your friends and family.
One of the best things to do to make yourself feel better when you’re down is actually to help others. Think about doing some volunteer work or do something nice for someone that maybe you’ve been neglecting. Ideally, you can combine your hobbies with helping others. For example, if you love to bake and you haven’t really been spending as much time as you could with your grandma, why don’t you bake your favorite cookies and take them over to her house?
Now everything I just went over should be applied whether you want to get back together with your ex or not…
I’m still in love with you and I want you back
The majority of people on this website are actually looking for tools to get back together with the one they love, so if that’s you, I want to provide you with the section on how to do just that!
Many people realize that they’re still so in love with their ex that they’re willing to do what it takes to get him or her back. So what exactly happens if you want to get back together with the person you still love?
Well first, it’s going to be all about the things I went over above. It is crucial that you work on making your life feel satisfying to you again. This will help you to begin the process of becoming the best version of yourself.
It is important to understand that if your ex decided to end the relationship, it means that he lost faith in your overall ability to make him happy long-term. This means in order to make him want you back in fall back and love with you again, you’re going to have to inspire him in a new way.
I know that this can sound a little bit abstract, but it’s all about making him come to the realization that you have grown from this breakup and you are now the new and improved version of the person he fell in love with in the first place. When this happens, you will have his full attention!
I know that being in love with your ex is challenging and the process of getting him back is not a walk in the park, but that is what we are here for. Through one-on-one guidance, our articles, our YouTube channel, and our audio seminars, our goal is to help you to get back together with your ex and create a relationship that is better than ever before. When handled correctly, the break up can actually be a powerful tool for strengthening your bond and creating a new foundation that will withstand the test of time.
If you have any questions at all please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when you’re thinking, “Why do I still love him”
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!