The subconscious mind is such a fascinating thing and there are so many different theories on how dreams work. I got an email from Miguel the other day and he was asking me, “Why do I dream about my ex at least once a week? It’s been a while since we’ve broken up but I keep having these crazy dreams! Why is that?”
The truth is that there are a couple different reasons behind why a person might be dreaming about their ex so often… For some, the reasons are more obvious but for others, the whole thing can feel really confusing. Because this is such a common topic, I wanted to write an article for you on the different reasons why a person might continuously dream about an ex boyfriend or girlfriend!
Why do I dream about my ex: The differing reasons
Have you ever met one of those people that have these wildly complex and detailed dreams, and they’re somehow able to remember all of it? It’s something that I am currently working on, but Miguel was definitely one of those people. Perhaps you are as well!
I remember him telling me that in one dream, he was walking across sand in an enormous desert, wearing these oversized goggles that this tiger had told him to keep on, and he could see his ex walking along a shore in the distance. He was trying to make his way to her, but each time he moved forward, the distance between them would stretch and morph. The faster he would run, the farther away she would be, and she never saw him.
In another dream, he was on a quest to save his ex, who had been kidnapped. As he was trying to find her and save her, he was being pursued by a pack of bandits that wanted a sacred book that he had with him. The sacred book actually held the key to finding and saving her, so in an effort to keep it out of the hands of these bandits, he would tear pages of it and eat them!
Now I am no expert in dream analysis, but I can tell you that there were some interesting things going on in Miguel’s subconscious mind. For starters, there was a common theme in his dreams and he was continuously trying to get closer to his ex but couldn’t seem to do it.
When it comes to answering your question of “Why do I dream about my ex,” you can start by looking at these dreams and identifying any common themes that are present in these dreams. They can be very indicative of how you’re feeling towards a certain situation. In Miguel’s case, he had told himself that he had accepted the breakup despite the fact that he didn’t want to let her go, and he was experiencing dreams in which he was trying to get close to her. So one theory is that dreams serve as a window into what the subconscious mind truly wants.
Dreaming about an ex from an evolutionary psychology point of view
There are also other theories – this reminds me of an evolutionary psychology course my best friend took at university. He told me that the class was fascinating and to this day is probably the most interesting class he ever took in his life !
In this course, the teacher spoke about how dreams work and what they actually reveal. He started by explaining that every single day, the human mind takes in an unimaginable amount of sensory detail. The brain will pick and choose which details are relevant enough to focus on (aka, what is needed for basic survival), but that doesn’t mean that surrounding or seemingly inconsequential details are left unnoticed by the subconscious mind.
At night as the body rests, the brain goes through something kind of like a filing process where it goes through all of the sensory stimuli and determines whether these things should be filed in the longterm memory or the short-term memory.
Because these images are floating around in the mind, and because we are logical beings, the brain will string these images into a storyline that we perceive as our dreams.
A bit about the spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex
Dreaming about an ex can have various spiritual meanings depending on the context of the dream and the individual’s beliefs. Some people believe that dreams can be symbolic and can represent aspects of the dreamer’s inner world or subconscious mind. Others believe that dreams can be prophetic or can provide guidance and insight into the dreamer’s waking life.
In terms of relationships, dreaming about an ex can be a reflection of the dreamer’s current feelings and unresolved issues related to the relationship. Dreams can be a way for the subconscious mind to process emotions and experiences that the dreamer may not be consciously aware of. If the dream is about the relationship with the ex, it may indicate that there are still unresolved feelings or issues that need to be addressed in order for the dreamer to move on with their life.
Additionally, dreaming about an ex may symbolize a need for closure or healing related to the past relationship. It may also indicate that the dreamer is seeking to reclaim aspects of themselves that they feel they have lost or compromised during the relationship.
In some spiritual traditions, dreaming about an ex can be seen as a message from the universe or spirit guides. The dream may be interpreted as a sign that the dreamer is being guided towards a particular path or that they need to pay attention to certain aspects of their life. It may also indicate that the dreamer needs to let go of the past and move forward towards their highest good.
Ultimately, the meaning of a dream about an ex is subjective and can vary based on the individual’s beliefs and personal experiences. It is important to reflect on the content and emotions of the dream in order to gain insight and understanding into what it may be trying to communicate. Ask yourself:
Do you want to move on?
Does a small part (or perhaps a big part) of you want your ex back?
It is crucial to ask yourself some of the hard questions to be clear on what is going on in your subconscious mind.
Do dreams about exes mean you’re still in love with them?
Dreaming about an ex does not necessarily mean that you are still in love with them! I know that this is one of the first questions people ask themselves when they are thinking, “Why am I dreaming about my ex?!”
As I’ve been saying, dreams can be a reflection of many things, including unresolved emotions, memories, and experiences. While dreams can provide insight into your subconscious mind, they are not always an accurate reflection of your conscious thoughts and feelings.
In fact, it is quite common for people to dream about their exes, even if they have moved on and are no longer in love with them. This can be particularly true if the relationship was a significant one that maybe lasted many years, with strong emotions and memories attached to it. Dreaming about an ex can be a natural part of the process of moving on and healing from a past relationship.
That being said, if you consistently dream about an ex and find that you are still thinking about them often during your waking hours, it may be worth exploring your feelings further. It is possible that you are not fully over the relationship, or that there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed. However, simply dreaming about an ex does not necessarily mean that you are still in love with them.
It is important to remember that dreams are subjective and can be interpreted in many different ways. While they can provide insight and guidance, they should not be relied upon as the sole source of information about your emotions and feelings.
Why do I still dream about my ex even though we haven’t been together for a while
The thing to think about when it comes to dreaming about an ex, is whether or not there are feelings lurking in your subconscious mind that you either choose to ignore or are unaware of.
After a breakup happens, a lot of people will suppress their emotions in an effort to move on and protect themselves. Sometimes feeling resurface after years and years because sometimes time isn’t enough to heal everything.
If there is still some healing to be done, the best thing to do is to face these emotions and get busy with trying to digest them. It is possible to get to the other side of heartache, even though it can be scary and painful.
The problem with suppressing feelings is that though it might feel good in the moment, these emotions tend to surge up later on down the line and can end up being more painful. Sometimes dealing with something head on is a surefire way to ensure your future happiness.
Time and time again I have used the expression, “The fastest way to the other side of something is through it.” Well, this can be applied to the concept of bouncing back from a breakup.
That said, sometimes dreaming about exes is actually an indicator that you feel that you should still be with this person. It is important to be honest with yourself and really explore what would bring you the most joy. If you are always dreaming about something, I encourage you to pay attention to the feelings in the dreams, the characters, the recurring themes, and the environments.
Sometimes dreams are your mind’s way of working through residual emotions (whether they’re good or bad).
What to do if you’re always dreaming about your ex but you really don’t want to
A lot of clients have reached out to me because they want to move on and turn the page, but their ex keeps popping up in their dreams on a regular basis. They find it upsetting and confusing, especially when they’re dreaming about sleeping with an ex…
Dreaming about an ex can be a common experience for someone who is trying to forget a past relationship. This can be frustrating, and confusing, and may cause the individual to wonder why they can’t seem to move on. There are a few reasons why someone may continue to dream about an ex, even if they are consciously trying to forget the relationship.
One possible reason is that the subconscious mind is still processing the emotions and experiences associated with the relationship. Even if someone is actively trying to forget an ex, their subconscious mind may still be working through unresolved feelings and memories. Dreams can be a way for the subconscious to work through these emotions in a safe and controlled environment.
Another reason someone may dream about an ex is that they are still in contact with them, either directly or indirectly. Even if someone is trying to forget an ex, continued contact can make it difficult to move on. Seeing or hearing about the ex can trigger memories and emotions that can carry over into dreams.
A third possibility is that the person is idealizing the relationship or the ex. When someone is trying to forget a relationship, they may focus on the negative aspects of the relationship in order to help themselves move on. However, if they continue to think about the positive aspects of the relationship, this can make it harder to forget. Dreams may reflect this idealization and may present the ex or the relationship in a more positive light.
Lastly, dreams about an ex may be a reflection of the individual’s current emotional state. If someone is feeling lonely, sad, or unsure about their current situation, they may dream about an ex as a way to cope with these emotions. The ex may represent a time when they felt happier or more secure, and the dream may be an attempt to recapture those feelings.
In summary, there are several reasons why someone may continue to dream about an ex, even if they are actively trying to forget the relationship. These dreams may be a reflection of the subconscious mind processing unresolved emotions, continued contact with the ex, idealization of the relationship, or a reflection of the individual’s current emotional state. Understanding the possible reasons for these dreams may help the individual to gain insight and move towards healing and closure.
There are a couple things that you can do about this and find a more peaceful sleep, free of dreams about exes!
Of course, it is more likely that you’re dreaming about your ex if they’re the most recent memory you have in terms of being romantic or intimate with someone. I’m not going to tell you to get out there and start dating other people immediately, but it would be beneficial to get out there and start meeting new people – even if it’s just platonically.
Make new friends and broaden your horizons. Introducing new people into your daily life will influence your conscious and subconscious mind! This will filter into your dreams at night, and the odds of you dreaming about your ex all the time will significantly decrease.
If you’re wondering “Why am I dreaming about my ex all the time,” another tool is going to be falling asleep with music playing while you concentrate on your goals. The goal of this is simply to take your focus off of your ex and fill your mind with other elements. It’s normal to fixate on someone in particular as you’re going to sleep at night, but there are plenty of other things that you can fill your mind with up as you drift off to sleep.
It’s true that a person can feel pretty worked up or upset when they awaken from a dream about an ex and end up thinking, I’m tired of dreaming of you! It can be unsettling and conjure up all kinds of negative emotions in you.
The best thing you can do for this is physical exercise. You can clear your mind and give your body a boost of energy that clears out all the tension that your dream made you feel. Go for a run until your legs just won’t carry you any further. Try boxing or swimming! You want to get your heart rate up and your sweat flowing! What’s more, exercise gives you more energy which in turn helps you to be more in control of your emotions.
As this article comes to a close, remember that we are here to help. If you would like one on one guidance or if you’re thinking about trying to get your ex back, you can reach out to us by clicking here.
Wishing you all the best in life and love
Your coach when you’re asking “Why am I dreaming about my ex”