Is wishing my ex a happy birthday really necessary?

wishing my ex a happy birthday days after a breakupYou surely remember your ex’s birthday. You’ve probably already celebrated it together; and if the relationship lasted a while, you’ve probably given them many gifts.

Unfortunately, as time went on, you broke up and you had to move on from your relationship. You’ve therefore lost certain habits and traditions, but in the back of your mind you are still aware of this date and you think of your ex. Ok but after a breakup, there are no more daily messages, no more phone calls, and in some cases you don’t even really communicate anymore. Your separation maybe ended in a bad way and so communication is now in the gutter.

In these circumstances a question often surfaces as your ex’s birthday approaches: “Should I be wishing my ex a happy birthday” or should I ignore it and move on; is it the right thing to do or is it not even worth it to reach out to them on their special day?

This is a dilemma that many people face and so I wanted to address the topic in this article to shed some light and share some pertinent advice. There are different reasons behind why you would decide whether or not to wish your ex a happy birthday; Read on to find different examples that will help you make a well-informed decision.

Wishing my ex a happy birthday can be a good idea for the following reasons!

Wishing an ex a happy birthday after being broken up shows a lot of maturity. In fact, not many people do this and the fact that you’re taking the time to reach out reflects very positively on you. You don’t want any bad blood between you and this is a great way to show it. You’d like to do this so that things can settle down between after a difficult breakup, and I have to congratulate you because it is proof that you’re ready to start anew. It can enable you to remain friends or at least on good terms without worrying about the past.

You may have kids together; and this could result in you not only wishing your ex happy birthday but actually celebrating it with them and their family as well so that you can maintain cordiality. In this case it’s more of an obligation to wish your ex a happy birthday, but you still have to make the effort.

I remember two years ago, I was coaching a woman that had decided to cut contact with her ex for weeks. Her main concern was knowing when to stop radio silence. Then one day she asked me a question that changed everything. “My ex’s birthday is in two days, should I reach out or continue my RS?”

I think you see where I’m going with this. You can definitely “use” an ex’s birthday as a moment to break the ice and get back in touch. They would most probably appreciate it and be happy to start talking to you again on this special day; unless you’ve been fighting since the breakup.

Please note that if you haven’t been in touch for months; if you just pop back up to wish your ex a very happy birthday they might be suspicious of your motives. In any case, if the day is coming up you can of course wish them happy birthday.

The birthday phone call is en excellent way to get back in touch, and it’s also a way to show your ex that you haven’t forgotten.

Wishing happy birthday is therefore useful when you’re trying to get back together. It’s also a great way to establish friendly contact and to break away from all the troubles that may have led to your separation. Use this day to improve the situation; and to show your ex that you are still thinking of them.

Feeling reluctance when faced with celebrating an ex’s birthday

If there are many reasons to wish an ex happy birthday, there are also many reasons why you’d feel reluctant to reach out and to get back in touch. Maybe you’d prefer to stay disconnected, at least for this year.

The breakup was a messy one and so you don’t feel ready to get back in contact with the person you shared your life with. Some people find it “hypocritical” to send a birthday message when things are less than peachy between you. I understand why you’d want to keep your distance and avoid contact, and that your ex’s birthday doesn’t change the way you feel.

Let’s take the example of radio silence that I mentioned in an earlier part of this article. You can also use it to show your ex that you’ve forgotten. You want them to really notice your absence, because they’ll probably be checking their phone or Facebook all day expecting to receive a message from you. Not reaching out will not go unnoticed; and can prompt your ex to come to you in hopes of an explanation.

Certain situations can also justify remaining silent while your ex is celebrating their birthday. For example, when your separation was a result of a serious problem between you. If you were cheated on or if you experienced some kind of betrayal, it’s perfectly logical that you wouldn’t want to reach out.

A lot of people think that they have no choice but to wish their ex a happy birthday but these men and women probably haven’t gone through really hard situations with their old partners. As I said, there are situations in which you have to make an effort to reach out (if you have kids for example) but sometimes keeping your distance is totally appropriate as well. Your ex can’t get mad at you for it unless they’ve already gone out of their way to wish you a happy birthday!

Your coach when wondering should I be wishing my ex a happy birthday

Sincerely,

Adrian