When a couple splits up after months or years of living together, one can experience a deep sense of sadness that feels like mourning a loss. Don’t be ashamed of being so hurt. Millions of people have gone through this and unfortunately, millions still will.
There are breakups every day but you can reverse the trend and rebuild your relationship as well! How? By using tried and true techniques that have already helped thousands of men and women get back together with their better halves.
In order to get over a breakup and get back in touch with your ex and hear from them, sometimes you need to temporarily take some distance. It can be the best way to ensure that you’ll have real and constructive exchanges in the future. It should be noted that it’s not always easy to organize a meet-up with an ex.
Luckily in this day and age, you have tools available to you; which means that you could still converse even if it’s not face-to-face. As you’ve understood, in this article I’m going to explain to you how to communicate with your ex well even if it’s not in person. You can write the perfect letter to an ex in order to drastically increase your chances of getting back together and finally get the answer to the question that you’ve being asking yourself over the last few days or weeks: how do I make my ex want me back!
Know that you can reach out to me privately in order for us to work together to get back with the one you love!
In a lot of cases when people are looking to get back together with their ex; getting back in touch is done at a distance. I am not only talking about how to get the person you love to come back to you. Some of the men and women that are reading this article aren’t necessarily trying to convince the one they love to take them back.
They’d just like to learn the best way to act with an ex after a breakup. Others want nothing more than to get back together but are having a tough time doing so because of distance. So in any case you’re going to have to understand certain techniques and avoid rushing things.
70 Pro Tips To Get Him Back
The complete step by step guide to get back together with an ex! After a breakup, you feel awful and completely lost. Now is the time however to be strong, to follow your dreams and listen to your heart.
Writing to your ex that you still love should be done carefully because if not it could backfire. This is why it’s imperative to follow a precise method so that the situation doesn’t get worse. The words you use and the way you present what you have to say are going to play a crucial part in changing the course of events.
Discover in which situations it’s appropriate for you to write to your ex, and how you should go about it in order to communicate with the person that you still love the right way!
What is a letter to an ex?
Just like you, I wouldn’t follow someone’s advice that claims to have great techniques for getting back together with an ex without going into detail about their methods first.
If you want to know how to be successful in your attempt at getting back together; and to avoid making mistakes, and especially how to write the perfect letter to move your ex, you’re going to need to know what exactly that entails and what you’re going to have to do.
Before we continue, I’d like to draw your attention to the fact that this isn’t a letter to get back together. In fact, a lot of people think that it’s enough to write “I miss you” or “I love you” over and over in different ways in order to get a reaction from the person they love.
In reality, the goal isn’t to divulge all of your feelings and to make yourself look needy and weak. You’re going to have to analyze your relationship, the breakup, and the reasons behind why you’re in this situation today.
It isn’t the time yet to talk about your emotions because you’re clearly already aware of them and they haven’t helped you get anywhere. So change your strategy and respect the precise steps that have been provided to you by an expert (not by your best friend, or your mom, or your colleagues!)
Why writing a perfect letter could help you get back together with your ex
It’s not always easy to organize a face to face meet up with an ex after a breakup or even to talk on the phone without making mistakes during the course of conversation. The letter is therefore the perfect compromise between the distance your ex needs and the actions you have to set in place to slowly start to win them back.
Now this doesn’t mean that you’re going to allow time to do the work for you because you know that waiting around with your arms crossed isn’t going to fix anything.
It’s essential for your future well-being that you take control of the situation and take action. If you don’t know where to start, you’ll have to first pinpoint where you are in the process.
In our eBook, which you can download here, “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” I outline different situations in which you can find yourself. There are also 3 examples of perfect letters that are ready to be sent; or that you can adapt to your story. By using those, you’ll be putting the odds in your favor!
Switching your focus to something else after a breakup and forgetting the conflict and everything that happened is never that easy. By using the technique of writing a letter to your ex, you’re going to give yourself the time to think. Let’s take a simple example. If you’re on the phone and you can’t find the right words or your not getting your point across…
You risk falling behind. If you take at least 2 or 3 days to really analyze and organize your thoughts by writing them down; you’ll ensure that you won’t be making mistakes and your word will be a lot more powerful.
You’re not going to be one of those people that send a million text messages that make no sense, hoping for an answer. You won’t get anywhere by doing this. Instead, you should be using one of the more viable solutions for getting back together with an ex. Please don’t think that by sending this letter your ex is going to be banging on your door tomorrow morning to profess their love for you! Your job isn’t done and there’s still a bit to do before you reach your goal.
How to increase your chances of getting back together
Writing a letter to the one you love can be a powerful way to express your feelings and potentially increase your chances of getting back together. It’s important to take the time to reflect on your relationship and what went wrong before you begin writing.
I know that many people make the mistake of using letters to just vent their emotions. While it may feel great to release your sadness onto paper, these feelings should be reserved for a journal or a diary; not this letter! Your ex does not want to read about your heartbrokenness. So yes, you should absolutely write down what you feel on paper, but save it for yourself. When it comes to this letter, it is imperative that you adopt a different approach!
Use this letter as an opportunity to acknowledge and apologize for any mistakes you may have made and to express your desire to work on yourself and on the relationship. Be honest and sincere in your writing, and try to avoid blaming your ex for the problems. It’s not about begging and pleading, and expressing your undying love over and over again.
Your ex needs concrete information, visible changes, and real actions. It’s also important to be clear about what you want and what you’re willing to do to make things work. Your ex needs to see that you understand what went wrong and that you are doing the work to make things right. Remember, expressing love is important, yes, but actions speak louder than words. So make sure to talk about what you have actively been doing.
Crafting the perfect opening sentence can take some time, so as you begin, prioritize showing your ex that your goal is to make peace and take accountability. Avoid being confrontational or playing the blame game. Use your opening sentence as a way to show him or her that you come in peace. You could start by expressing your desire to reconnect or apologize for any hurt caused in the past. It’s also helpful to be specific in what you want to say and to convey a sense of sincerity and vulnerability. Remember, the goal is to open a dialogue and hopefully reconcile, so be sincere and avoid being confrontational.
Choosing the right time and place to send the letter
Before you can answer this question, you’ll have to figure out where you stand. There are two possible cases. You could either look to move on and just leave things in peace, or you could be looking to give your relationship a second chance. You see how important it is to distinguish between these two “categories” if you want your analysis to be as thorough as possible.
If you find yourself in the first case and you’re trying to simply move on you obviously shouldn’t reach out to your ex. It wouldn’t be considered a radio silence because you wouldn’t be doing it with the hope of getting back together. You need to rebuild yourself and spend time with your loved ones so that you protect yourself from falling into a state of depression.
Once you’ve done so, and if you feel ready, you can get back in touch with your ex in order to ease tensions without shutting them out of your life forever.
But writing to an ex is very often something that people who want to get back into a relationship feel the need to do. Nevertheless, my advice remains the same, in that you need to take time to rebuild yourself before you even start to think about reaching out and what you will say.
When you approach your ex in the depths of despair, sadness, or in anger, you will risk committing some of the “don’ts” of getting back together (such as begging or insulting); that’s exactly what you should never do!
In either situation, you should only reach out to your ex once you’ve bounced back from the breakup and only when your gut tells you to do so. The timing around when to send this letter is really important; and it will depend on your relationship. Generally speaking, you shouldn’t send a letter right away in order to increase your chances of success.
If you’re unsure of what kind of letter you want to write to your ex, this video will help you find some clarity!
Keeping a good rapport with your ex is a must!
Once again I’m basing this on the two outcomes that you could want in regard to your ex. In any case, it’s essential to not create conflict. I’m not saying that you should jump into the friend-zone if that’s not your goal, or force you to talk to your ex every day if you don’t want to.
Nevertheless, there are situations in which you aren’t going to be able to disappear and avoid ever speaking again. For example, when you have children together, you won’t be able to only think about your relationship. Your children’s happiness is paramount. On top of writing to your ex, you’re going to have to speak and find a way to establish a positive rapport.
But it’s not only for your children’s sake that you should be on good terms. It’s the same thing if you live together, if you have investments together, if you have to be together in court…
When you want to get back together with your ex you can’t be at odds or on bad terms. Even if there’s sadness and bitterness, you’re going to have to rebuild affinity. As I often say, before you can be intimate or say “I love you,” you’re going to have to rekindle the flame. This is only possible if there’s proper dialogue between you.
Eventually of course you’ll tackle the things that hold you back from being together. It’s not going to be just small talk when you meet up or talk on the phone.
Don’t rush to get in touch with your ex
The key to reestablishing dialogue with your ex is timing. You’re definitely going to have to take the time to prepare your actions and the moment in which you’re going to set them in motion. Above all, and I really insist on this point, you should never rush things or else you’ll risk being blinded by emotion.
Unless there’s an emergency, you should take a step back and gain perspective on the situation as you think about the actions that need to happen. You shouldn’t snatch your phone up each time your ex calls you. This is exactly how you’d make mistakes. It’s important to learn how to detach yourself so that you aren’t needy. Take the time to focus on the most efficient actions.
Communication after a breakup shouldn’t go around and around in circles. I am talking specifically to those of you that are hoping to get a second chance. Talking for hours about things that aren’t helping you move forward shouldn’t be a part of your attempt at getting back together.
You’ll create a harmful routine and your ex won’t really want to communicate with you. To help you, keep in mind these tips for communicating effectively with your ex via this letter:
- Be honest and sincere: Express your true feelings and intentions in the letter, and avoid being manipulative or insincere.
- Take responsibility for your actions: Acknowledge any mistakes you may have made in the relationship and take responsibility for them.
- Be clear about what you want: State clearly what you would like to happen moving forward and what you are willing to do to make things work.
- Avoid blaming: Avoid placing blame on your ex for the problems in the relationship. Instead, focus on how you can work together to improve things.
- Show empathy: Put yourself in your ex’s shoes and try to understand their perspective on the relationship.
- Use “I” statements: Use “I” statements to express how you feel, rather than making accusations. This will help to avoid defensiveness and make it more likely that your ex will be receptive to what you have to say.
- Be respectful: Even if you’re upset, be respectful in your letter. Avoid using harsh or hurtful language, as this will only damage your chances of reconciliation.
- Be concise: Keep the letter short and to the point, and avoid dragging up old issues or bringing up irrelevant information.
- Proofread and edit: Before sending the letter, make sure to proofread and edit it for spelling and grammar errors.
If you’d like to have a powerful exchange and avoid making mistakes, I invite you to read and use these 3 examples of letters and to follow my guidelines that are explained in our eBook. You can adapt them to your story and get a response from your ex. This is a great way to make an impression that is also going to be very effective in the process of getting back together.
What happens after you send the letter?
As I just explained, writing a letter to your ex is not an end in itself, it doesn’t mean that your job is done. The person you want back isn’t going to just magically jump back into your arms.
If you’ve followed my advice and therefore started working on the process of getting back together, change will come. You’re going to have to respect these rules and steps if you don’t want your ex to wave this letter in your face telling you that nothing has changed!
Your personal actions, like going out, exercising, and re-establishing contact with a circle of friends should never stop. You’ll need this balance so that the circumstances evolve and so that your life remains dynamic.
These things should actually be set in place before you write any letters so that your ex will be able to sense that improvements have been made; and so that you avoid being too “emotional” in your messages.
It’s important that you understand that your ex doesn’t want to fight with you. You’re sharing a past, memories, perhaps even children; so you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first step to save your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you should beg and plead.
You’ll have to use a method that helps can help you to lift your head back up, and our relationship experts’ letter method will do just that and ultimately change your relationship.
Following up with your ex after you send your letter
As we bring this article to a close, I want to answer the last burning question you probably have.
The best way to follow up with your ex after sending a reconciliation letter would be to give them some space and time to process the letter and their feelings. It’s important to be patient and not to pressure them into a response.
You could consider following up with a phone call or text message after a week or so, to check in and see if they have had a chance to read the letter and if they would be open to talking further. If they are receptive, it would be a good idea to set up a time to talk in person or over the phone to have a more in-depth conversation about your feelings and what you both would like to see happen in the future.
It’s also important to be prepared for the possibility that your ex may not be ready or willing to reconcile. In that case, it’s best to accept their decision and move on. Remember to be respectful and considerate of their feelings throughout the process.
Your coach when looking to writing a perfect letter to an ex.
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert