At this point, your heart has been broken and you’ve come to the realization that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Things have fallen apart but you’re ready and willing to do what it takes to make things right again so that you can restore the relationship between you. The problem is that it’s hard to know how to navigate these waters and where to start!
Fortunately, you’re already taking matters into your own hands and you aren’t just giving up. It would be too easy to just roll over and let this breakup break you, but hat’s off to you because you’re aware of the fact that you are in control of the situation! The best thing to do is to start getting organized and by the end of this article, you’re going to know how to win her heart back and get the woman you love back in your arms for once and for all!
The things to avoid doing when you want to win her heart back
When your heart has been freshly broken, the easiest thing to do is to isolate yourself, feel sorry for yourself, and give into destructive behaviors.
This is the period during which you are the most at risk for doing things that will hinder your longterm success. What do I mean by that? Well, I’m talking about your attempt at getting your ex back but also your personal life. I’ll talk about the biggest no-no’s to keep in mind in terms of how to win her heart back in a moment, but I also wanted to talk about your longterm happiness.
For example, if you are currently trying to drown your sorrows in crazy parties that leave you feeling completely annihilated the next day, it is going to have an effect on your energy levels, your health, and even your job. Simply put, you’ve got to be careful to avoid quick fixes that numb the pain for now, but end up contributing to unhappiness down the line.
At this stage, if you want to win her heart back and come out of this situation on top, you’re going to have to prioritize your well being.
But first things first, I want to go over the things you must absolutely avoid doing when your heart is broken.
How to win her heart back by being careful with your behavior
Yes, the breakup hurts like hell. Your whole world has been turned upside down and you’re terrified that you’ve lost the love of your life. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to let panic take over and run the show. This is when people end up making big mistakes that they end up bitterly regretting later on down the line.
The first one I want to go over is begging and pleading.
It’s one of the absolute worst things you can do at this stage because it shows your ex that you have her on a pedestal and that she could get you back at the drop of a hat if she ever felt like it. On top of that it puts you in a position of weakness and it makes it dangerously easy for her to take you for granted – which by the way is the exact opposite of what we want right now.
Whether you want to win her heart back from another guy or just reignite her feelings for you again, be careful to avoid letting her see you in a negative light.
As of right now, she’s already got a bad taste in her mouth as a result of a painful breakup. Don’t assume that just because she may have been the one to pull the plug on the relationship that she’s not feeling any pain as a result of it.
After all these years as a love and relationship coach specialized in getting people back together, I can confidently tell you that both people involved in the breakup experience a surge of negative emotions.
Ways to win her heart back: The importance of NOT begging
Think about it this way. As I said, she’s got a bad taste in her mouth and currently associates you with negative emotions like disappointments, heartbreak, sadness, and possibly anger. If you’re clinging to her and apologizing about things that happened over and over, every time you do it the negative memories will pop to the very forefront of her mind, thus reminding her of why it all ended.
The more you do it, the harder it will be for her to see you in a new light even if you’ve done all the work you needed to do. So if there is something that you need to apologize for, then yes, by all means apologize. Just don’t do it two hundred times.
One of the best tools we offer for this type of thing is the handwritten letter. It allows you to organize your thoughts and present them in a clear and honest way. It’s not as invasive as calling your ex up to tell them how sorry you are, and it gives her the opportunity to read it when she’s ready and really digest your words.
At this stage, we need to prioritize putting some space between you. The more suffocated she feels, the less likely she will be to want you back.
Avoid texting and calling her when you are thinking about ways to win her heart back
You’re probably thinking of things to say to win her heart back but as I was saying, we are going to have to put some distance between you. I want to take a moment to highlight a key element of getting an ex back.
If she comes back, it’s going to be because you inspired her. It’s not going to be because you begged and pleaded enough that she finally took pity and took you back. It’s not going to be because you were so present that she felt that she couldn’t imagine her life without you. You don’t want to be pitied and you don’t want her to feel suffocated by you.
If she comes back, it’s going to be because she finally understood something. It’ll be because she was able to see that this breakup served as a catalyst for very important change in your life and that you’ve grown from it. You have taken this as an opportunity to revamp your life, to become the new and improved version of you. If she comes back it’ll be because she recognizes that you are the 2.0 version of the man she fell in love with in the first place.
So step one to all of this is to take a step back so that you can make a stronger comeback!
In addition to avoiding clinginess, neediness, and suffocating behavior, be careful with trying to get intel from mutual friends. Just because you aren’t in contact with her right now, it doesn’t mean that you should try to find out information about her through the people you know. This will look especially bad if word reaches her…
You’ve got to spend this time focusing solely on yourself.
So that said, how exactly can you win her back?
How to win your ex back with these surefire tools
If you are familiar with our philosophy then you have surely heard of some of the most powerful tools he recommend to our clients. All of our tools and tried and true and we have seen how powerful they are throughout the years, time and time again.
Using the no contact rule for winning the heart of a woman you still love
I wanted to start off with the NC rule because it is arguably one of the most powerful ones in your arsenal. The goal is this tool is to give your ex girlfriend or ex wife an electroshock that makes her realize some important things about you and your relationship.
To summarize, it consists of cutting communication for a predetermined period of time ranging from three weeks to 30 months depending on the characteristics of the breakup. The goal here is to surprise your ex by no longer being at her beck and call, especially when she’s expecting you to place her on a pedestal, while simultaneously working on becoming the best version of yourself. She’ll realize that you’ve switched your focus and you’re beginning to live a fulfilling life that she would actually really want to be a part of.
While you use this tool it’s imperative that you are strict with yourself about sticking to the rules, or you’ll end up right back at square one. So this means that you are to avoid reaching out to her but you’re also to avoid responding to her when she reaches out, watching her Instagram stories, liking her posts, sending her emails, poking her on Facebook, etc. Communication is to be completely cut in order for this to be effective.
I know it’s scary because you’re worried that she’s going to forget all about you, but trust me when I say that the bond between two people who shared a relationship does not disappear overnight. On top of that, what’s a few weeks of discipline compared to a lifetime of happiness with her?
How to win a girl back via personal development
If you really want the no contact rule to work and make her want you back, you’ve got to use this time wisely. So when you aren’t in contact with her, it’s not an excuse to just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and expecting the rest to take care of itself. Distance is not enough – you have to pair it with actions in your personal life.
It is very common for people to lose track of their own lives when their relationships begin to become the focal point of their lives. They lose track of their hobbies and passions, they stop seeing people that they used to be very close to, and they become lazy about taking care of themselves. They lose track of their goals and end up focusing all of their energy on their significant other.
The problem of course is that this creates a sizable imbalance in the relationship and can actually contribute to the breakup. So now that you’re ready to work on coming out on top and you want to know how to make her want you, you’ve got to get busy with making your life better than ever.
Grab a piece of paper and a pen and start jotting down the things that got put on the back burner when you settled into this relationship. What projects got set aside, what hobbies did you stop paying attention to, and what friends and family members did you stop spending time with? Now is the ideal time to start reintroducing these elements into your life so that you can start to fill up your schedule with things that bring you joy.
In addition to this, I’d like you to start thinking about what new things you could start doing. What are some activities that you’ve always wanted to try out? Some examples are golfing, yoga, surfing, cooking, or maybe even skydiving? It’s the perfect time to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.
Getting a woman back: Focusing on physical health
When you are working on how to get back with your ex and win her heart over again, keep the importance of physical health in mind. I suggested a few things you could try out and you probably noticed that most of them had to do with physical activity.
The biggest thing about being physically active is that it releases endorphins which make you happier and give you more energy. Of course there is the added benefit of a better physique, but the way your body and mind feel is going to directly impact how you’re going to approach this situation.
So if you aren’t a very active guy, I highly encourage you to start getting more exercise. It will serve as a mood booster in addition to a confidence booster and rest assured my friends, your ex girlfriend or wife will most certainly take notice. Don’t hesitate to post motivating selfies or pictures on social media. Even if she isn’t looking at your profiles, word will travel back to her that you’re looking great via your friends in common.
If you’re already a pretty active person, I suggest switching things up and trying something new. For example, if you’re already a runner, why not try swimming or rock climbing?
Now is not the time to tell her you love her. It’s the time to show her that you love and respect yourself, and you will spark her interest.
Can you win her heart back by sleeping together?
This is another topic I wanted to go over in this article for you because it’s been asked about it so many times that if I had a penny for each time someone asked if sex between exes was a good idea, well… you get the point.
I’d have a LOT of pennies.
I want to be very upfront with you. Having sex with your ex is not the miracle solution the a lot of people think it is. It’s not a guarantee that your ex will develop strong feelings for you again. Of course some couples get back together because they were able recreate a connection thanks to sex, but this isn’t how it happens for the majority of people.
At some point, sex will be back on the table, yes. But not until after you did the work to inspire your ex to want to get close to you again, hence why I went over the importance of the no contact rule.
Working on getting back together with an ex is a very different thing because you want to have a relationship that is much more solid than it was before you broke up. You aren’t going to use sex as just a one night stand with your ex – you’re going to use it to remind your ex how great you are and that you can connect on a sexual level as well!
I don’t want you to think that just because you did all the work and you and your ex girlfriend or wife slept together that it’s a done deal and you’re back together. Sex isn’t the answer. If you didn’t address the problems that lead to your breakup (the routine, distance, excessive fighting, infidelity, etc), sex isn’t going to serve as a solution.
Sometimes sex is the cause of the breakup, in which case having sex with your ex in an effort to win her back IS a good idea. If the lack of passion was the sole problem, then reintroducing passion is going to serve you. It’s a delicate situation so I recommend getting in touch with me or a member of my team for one on one guidance by clicking here or by leaving your question in the comments section below. It would be our pleasure to help and we are here to guide you from A to Z so that you can win her heart back!
One of the best ways to win her heart back when it’s time to get back in touch
When the time comes for a person to get back in touch with their ex, many questions arise. What’s the best way to do it? How can I make sure that I don’t rush anything or put pressure on my ex?
Well, here is where another one of the most powerful techniques comes into play. I briefly mentioned it above, but the handwritten letter is one of the best ways to proceed. Now, it’s not a love poem to win her heart back, and it’s not going to be a love letter in which you express your undying love for her.
It’s going to be all about expressing what you’ve learned since the breakup took place and what you’ve changed in your own life.
As this article is coming to an end, I encourage you to click here for in-depth information on how to write the perfect letter to your ex.
The last thing I want to touch on before I go is timing. When is the ideal moment to send this letter to her? Well, by waiting a while after your last contact with your ex, your letter will carry more weight and have a bigger impact. It is often used as a means to open conversation back up at the end of a no contact period.
Let me illustrate my point by using a person who smokes a lot as an example. Let’s say they’re used to smoking 20 cigarettes a day and suddenly all 20 cigarettes are taken away with no opportunity to replenish. This person is going to be dying for a cigarette. Because they’re desperate for one, the moment you give them one sends them into total bliss.
So if we take that same person but this time we let them wean themselves off of the cigarettes by giving them 15 instead of 20, then 10, then 5, and then finally 0, they are not going to feel the withdrawals as much. The whole process becomes ten times easier for them.
If we apply this principle to sending the letter, we can see that if we suddenly stop communicating and fall off their radar, and then make a nice entrance via a letter showcasing all the great things we’ve been up to – we’ve got a person foaming at the mouth ready to read every word on every line and in between. However, if we’ve been in regular contact with this person, then the letter is not going to give the recipient the “punch” that we wanted.
That is why I stress the importance of patience, self control, and timing throughout this entire process. You are in control of more than you might realize!
Remember, we are here to help you every step of the way so don’t hesitate to reach out.
Wishing you all the best in life and love,
Your coach when you want to win her heart back
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!