When you want an ex back, there are certain techniques and actions to use that can get you closer to your goal much faster than you thought possible. One of these techniques is known as the push pull technique, AKA the “chase me and I’ll run” technique. Many people are hesitant about using it because they know that it involves a lot of self control and a bit of space to be put between them and the man or woman they want, but the efficiency of this tool should not be underestimated!
That is why I wanted to write an article explaining how it works and how you can implement it into your attempt at getting the person you love back into your arms for good. It can be confusing and sometimes people don’t use this tool quite right. I’ll go over the do’s and don’ts, as well as the most important elements to bear in mind while you’re using this technique.
You’ll have a better idea about how to go about getting your ex back by the time you reach the end of this article, so let’s get started!
Push pull technique: What is it?
I’m sure you’ve heard this term at one point or another, but you might still be wondering, “Exactly what is the push pull technique?” Some people think that it’s all about playing mind games with their ex, or manipulating them into doing what they want, which would be to come crawling back, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it’s downright manipulative. It’s true that there is you are going to be maneuvering the situation a bit, but you need to be careful to not cross the threshold of playing emotional games with the person you love and want to be with.
The way this technique works is simple. As a general rule, human beings want what they can’t have. When things are readily available to us, we have a bad habit of taking them for granted.
Let’s take an example as simple as your favorite dessert. Would it be as delicious if you got to eat it every single day of your life instead of only on special occasions? You’d start to get a little bored with it, wouldn’t you?
The push and pull method method basically works by giving your ex a little bit of what they want, and then pulling away, leaving him or her wanting more.
If you give them what they want all the time, it will be easy for them to take you for granted and not worry about getting any more. They’ll rest assured knowing that you’re still there at their beck and call. The goal of this technique is to whet their appetite in terms of getting closer to you, and making them want more by not being readily available to them.
Now, I should mention that this technique works best once you’ve taken the time to heal and bounce back from the breakup.
It’s very important that you make an effort to analyze the breakup and understand what went wrong, come up with long term solutions, and seriously work on becoming the best version of yourself. I will expand on this a bit more at the end of the article, but the push and pull technique is best when used once you’ve already made improvements in your own life.
This tool is most effective when you implement it in the seduction phase of your attempt at getting back together.
For more in-depth information about the process of getting an ex back, I encourage to you click here!
Push pull method: What NOT to do
The whole point of this technique is to sometimes be available to your ex and then to sometimes be unavailable to them – especially when you know they want to see you.
So the most obvious thing to avoid is any type of clingy or needy behavior. You don’t want your ex to think that your universe revolves around them and that all you want to do is spend time with them. I know this is challenging, especially because you want nothing more than to be together again, but having this self control right now will be a game changer.
Your ex should not feel like he or she has you wrapped around their little finger. Many people are afraid of push and pull seduction because they don’t dare blow off their ex. They don’t want to make their ex think that they’re uninterested or unavailable, and they’re afraid that their ex will just forget about them.
But let me ask you this – how is your ex ever going to realize how much they miss you if you don’t give them the opportunity to miss you ? Why would you make it easy for him or her to take you for granted and not appreciate everything you bring to their life?
Sometimes people need rude awakenings. For some, like you, the breakup is enough to shock you and make you realize how much you want to be with this person, but for others, it might take a bit more.
An ex will want you back the moment they actually fear losing you.
It is your job to make your ex realize that they are risking losing you for good, and that they don’t actually want that to happen. That is also why I stress the importance of what I am going to outline at the end of this article. In order to make push pull tactics highly effective, you’ll need to make sure that everything is in order on your end…
Using push pull on your ex
Now let’s get into the good stuff. How exactly do you use the push pull technique?
When you’re using this tool, you are no longer in the no contact period. You’re now in seduction mode. It’s going to help you to remain magnetic and mysterious. You’re going to be making your ex realize that they might have lost you. These are the types of electroshocks that make a person start taking concrete steps towards getting you back.
You don’t want to be the person begging for your ex back – you want to wake them up and make them realize that they want YOU back. The push pull technique is perfect for this.
It’s quite simple. When you begin getting closer with your ex, you’ll start making plans. It’s up to you to not be afraid to wait a few hours or even days before you respond to a text from your ex. You don’t need to answer their phone calls all the time, and you don’t have to call them back the moment you realized you missed a call from them. You’re busy with all kinds of interesting things going on, and your ex should not feel like they are your main priority right now.
Don’t hesitate to cancel plans or blow them off. Now is actually the moment to be a bit selfish. You can flirt with him or her when you’re together, but don’t be too available. Remember how I said that people want what they can’t have.
Your priority right now is to give your ex the opportunity to realize how much better their life would be with you in it and that they’re actually running the risk of losing their chance with you. The more available you are to him or her right now, the more at ease they’re going to be with the way things are right now. They won’t feel any pressure to try and get a second chance from you.
So, when you’re using push and pull tactics, what is the most important thing that you should be doing at the same time?
What key ingredient makes the push pull theory work best?
This technique is not likely to work if you haven’t been working on improving your life. When we’re in relationships, it’s not uncommon to lose track of our personal lives, or hobbies, to stop spending time with our loved ones, and to stop prioritizing ourselves. Sometimes, we drift far away from the person that our partner fell in love with in the first place…
So it’s crucial that you work on making yourself feel happy and confident in your own life. There is a reason why the breakup took place, so the issue has to be addressed. Think about what elements of your life you neglected as you got more comfortable in the relationship and how you can jump start things again.
Get busy at the gym, in your personal and professional projects, and spend ample time with your friends and family members that make you happy. Introduce all kinds of new activities into your life so that you are feeling fulfilled, and your schedule is full!
When you’re actually busy with things that bring you joy, it’s not going to be hard to successfully implement the push and pull technique with your ex.
If you’re able to remind your ex of the person they fell in love e with in the beginning of the relationship and become a new and improved version of them, you will be irresistible. What’s more, if you aren’t readily available to your ex all the time, they’ll be even more interested.
As always, if you would like one on one guidance, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us directly here!
Wishing you all the best,
Your coach when you’re using the push pull technique
I Know We Are Meant To Be!
Bonus: 3 advanced strategies that will turn you into a Human Relationships Expert and give you the tools to get back with the one you love... for good!